Leroy Jethro Gibbs quotes from NCIS

Tony

Trust me, this woman could get Gibbs into a leotard if she wanted to.

Gibbs

Not likely, in this lifetime, Dinozzo.

Tony

No, boss, I'm sure you would never wear a leotard. But if you did, you could pull it off.

Abby

But, you just got here dont you wana stay a couple of days. You can have some quality time with Tony.

Dinozzo Sr.

Ohhh, I'd love too Abby, but I have to get back to New York I've been away to long.

Ziva

But we barely got to see you.

McGee

Yeah, we were kinda hopin to hear your version of why Jr. got expelled from boarding school.

Tony

Your wildest dreams McGee. Let's go dad!

Dinozzo Sr.

What's the matter with you Jr? Relax.

Gibbs

Hey, DiNozzo hold on a minute.

Tony

Don't move. Stay. [walks over to Gibbs] Yeah boss.

Gibbs

Hey, where's your dad going?

Tony

New York

Gibbs

No not yet we need him get us into the reception.

Does Agent David carry a weapon?

Gibbs

She is a weapon.

I was summoned. Vance's review of the international case-files, and his request for contributions from every NCIS director.

Gibbs

Not every director.

No. Not Jenny Shepard. She was truly responsible for bringing our organizations together, and for bringing my daughter into your life, but I am not here for her.

Gibbs

For Ziva.

Yes.

Gibbs

You're not here for Ziva. She has a name.

I am aware. I gave it to her.

Vance

Eli's here already, isn't he?

Gibbs

You knew he'd come.

Vance

You dangle the right bait you can catch any game. The Palestinians are following the same logic.

Gibbs

Chasing Eli.

Vance

That was unexpected. We've got to find him first, then we need to get on Eli's protection detail. I know he's going to make it miserable for us.

Gibbs

Got McGee babysitting him at a safehouse. We're running drills to secure the hotel.

Vance

Good. How's our own David handling it?

Gibbs

Her father left her to die in a desert.

Vance

So it's a problem.

Gibbs

Would be for me. Won't be for Ziva.

Tea and coffee. There was a time when this conversation would take place over something a bit more exciting.

Gibbs

Well, I'm still on the clock. No one's stopping you.

But along with several other vices, drinking is now part of my past.

Gibbs

You know what they say about a man with no vices?

Yes. He has incredibly annoying virtues.

Gibbs

Rule number nine.

Vance

How did you get that by security?

Gibbs

Never go anywhere without a knife.

McGee

Oh no. Agent McCallister! Now remember, you're supposed to ask me before using the men's room.

Shut up! Permission to smack your boy with my cane, Gibbs.

Gibbs

Denied.

Tony

I don't need more money. I need more time. Just think of all the women I could've dated.

Ziva

I would rather not.

Tony

Respectfully dated. [Ziva looks at him] But it's never too late. [goes to his file cabinet]

Ziva

What are you doing?

Tony

Tallying up my overtime.

Gibbs

You got more coming Skippy. [Tony and McGee look at him] Grab your gear.

Tony

Got another all-nighter?

Gibbs

You can sleep when you're dead.

Borin

[to police officers] I need this area kept clear of passengers even if they claim to be my date. [Gibbs arrives at crime scene] Agent Gibbs.

Gibbs

Agent Borin. [smiles] We gotta stop meeting like this.

Borin

You mean when NCIS takes over one of my cases. My call was a courtesy, not an invitation.

Gibbs

Body trumps boat.

Gibbs

[looks over Borin's blood-stained dress] That's a nice dress. Are you cold?

Borin

Tried to give him CPR. And no.

Gibbs

The, uh, gift shop was all out of pantsuits. [hands her some clothing] Unless you'd rather just go home.

Borin

And let you have all the fun? [takes clothing] Don't think you're getting rid of me that easily, Gibbs.

Gibbs

[laughs] I didn't.

Gibbs

[kisses Abby's cheek] Thank you, Abs.

He -- he just kissed her.

Ducky

Consider it an innocent gesture of endearment.

Gibbs

How are you holding up Leon?

Vance

How do you think? On a strict diet of paperwork and painkillers.

Ducky

These bruises and lascerations could be consistent with somebody hitting a target repeatedly.

Gibbs

The target was the wife, Duck. I wouldn't blame her if she did this.

Ducky

Nobody would. But that doesn't make it any less of a crime.

Gibbs

Stand right here. Look down. Do you feel that? Right there?

What?

Gibbs

This is where the guy who murdered Kate died. This is where Ziva shot her own brother. That, doc, is closure. The rest is just memories. Nothing wrong with memories.

McGee

Uh, Boss, I wouldn't do that. I just finished calibrating your-- [Gibbs hits the monitor again] ..monitors.

Gibbs

It was working fine until you touched it.

McGee

[goes to Gibbs' desk] All I did was tweaked the color gamma... Mind if I?... Probably just to restart your email clients... No, let me try this...

McGee

Boss, that's really not gonna help.

Gibbs

Well, it helps me.

McGee

Uh sorry Boss. [desperately trying to clean up the mess] Sorry. I'm sorry uh... how about you take mine. It's a double half-caf, Sumatra blend with a twist of lemon. [Gibbs storms off without a word] I'll have it fixed by the time you get back.

Tony

Morning, Boss. Like that shirt! [Gibbs storms past them without a word]

Tony

[to McGee] Hope you didn't break his computer. He doesn't like that thing even when it's working.

McGee

I should have listened to my horoscope. It said I should stay home today.

Ziva

[laughs] Your horoscope?

Tony

What else did it say?

McGee

Avoid new relationships, which after last week is probably not a bad idea either. [looks up as Tony laughs] What's so funny?

Tony

Oh, just that you think you have a choice.

Ziva

And that you read your horoscope.

McGee

Oh, just for fun, but it is interesting. I have been thinking about taking a break from dating for a while. [makes a face as Tony laughs again] Okay, now what's so funny?

Tony

Same thing.

McGee

Thanks for the support, Tony.