Agent Abigail Borin quotes from NCIS

Tony

Wait a minute. You're saying the widow and the stud diver, they... they did it together? [turns to Ziva] Ziva'd you hear that?

Ziva

Yes.

Tony

Yes what?

Ziva

Yes, I heard the wife did it, Tony! Okay, yes, you are a genius!

Borin

Okay, question, where would you hide a lot of money if you were afraid your house could be ceased?

Tony

[slaps the table] Not in my house!

Tony

[searching their victim's house, after finding the front door open] Clear, boss!

Tony

Maybe not totally clear.

Borin

Toss the gun. Do it now.

Tony

[laughing] Take it easy, sweetheart. Who are you?

Borin

I'm not the one breaking and entering.

Gibbs

[approaching Abigail from behind] No, the door was open. Ladies first.

[entering from behind Gibbs] It's turning into a party around here.

Tony

Wow. looks a little like Reservoir Dogs, except you're cuter than Harvey Keitel.

Gibbs

[holding up his badge] We're federal agents.

Borin

Get his I.D.

Gibbs

Look, don't touch.

NCIS.

Borin

[lowering her weapon] Come on, really?

Gibbs

Who are you guys? DEA? FBI?

Borin

CGIS.

Tony

[chuckling] Coast Guard, boss.

Borin

You got a problem with that?

Tony

[stops laughing, seriously] No.

Borin

Yeah. [head-slaps Omagi] Put the weapon away, Kyle.

Oh yes, ma'am.

Tony

That's a nice head slap.

Rough night?

Agent Abigail Borin

Blind date. On a boat.

Nowhere to go.

Borin

[sarcastically] Overboard?

Should I call the Coast Guard?

Borin

[to police officers] I need this area kept clear of passengers even if they claim to be my date. [Gibbs arrives at crime scene] Agent Gibbs.

Gibbs

Agent Borin. [smiles] We gotta stop meeting like this.

Borin

You mean when NCIS takes over one of my cases. My call was a courtesy, not an invitation.

Gibbs

Body trumps boat.

Gibbs

[looks over Borin's blood-stained dress] That's a nice dress. Are you cold?

Borin

Tried to give him CPR. And no.

Gibbs

The, uh, gift shop was all out of pantsuits. [hands her some clothing] Unless you'd rather just go home.

Borin

And let you have all the fun? [takes clothing] Don't think you're getting rid of me that easily, Gibbs.

Gibbs

[laughs] I didn't.

Ziva

Doesn't he know they do not take the trash out on weekends?! Why does he order the same stinky take-out from the same stinky place?!

McGee

Because it's the only place open on Saturday at 2am.

Tony

He's working weekends. Did he call you guys over the weekend too?

Twice.

Tony

About work that we could've done today.

Yeah!

McGee

Isn't 16 hours a day enough for him? Don't get me wrong. I love my work. I'm just not married to it you know.

Tony

Wait. I think I have a solution!

Ziva

What? A pet for Gibbs? A new hobby?

Tony

A new woman.

Borin

That is the last thing he needs. Grab your gear!

Tony

I think Gibbs and Borin make a great couple. Just think of all the fun they'd have giving each other head slaps.

Ziva

Head slaps are not very romantic Tony.

Tony

They can be. In the right context.

Tony

Ducky, what do you think? Gibbs and Borin, date mate material?

Ducky

Given their combined work ethics, they'd probably never see each other. Which could be a recipe for the world's shortest courtship or extreme longevity.

Tony

So nobody's with me on Team Bibbs?

Borin

[walks in] No.

Tony

We can change the name.

Borin

I should change the subject DiNozzo.

Tony

At least let him grill you a steak in his fireplace while watching black-and-white television. [Borin laughs] It's more charming than you think.

Borin

I'll pass.

McGee

Tony, don't take this the wrong way but you smell like the hot cheerleader in my high school homeroom.

Borin

That White Diamond DiNozzo?

Tony

Farid spilled his laundry detergent all over the place. I got some on my pants...

McGee

Let me call Abby and see if she's got something to remove that.

Vance

Special Agents Borin and DiNozzo, please stop doing whatever it is you're doing.

Tony

We were just..er..reexamining the very special bond between the Navy and the Coast Guard, sir.

Tony

Is it possible we've done something right for Gibbs? What if it upsets the space-time continuum and sends the earth hurtling towards the sun?

Tony

Boss, we found the perfect woman for you and we would like you to ask her out.

Gibbs

Who? [points to screen] Dusty? Nice lady. Great cook.

Tony

[stares at Gibbs] Did you read that on the screen?

Gibbs

No. I dated her.

McGee

So what was wrong with her, Boss?

Gibbs

Nothing. She's perfect.

Borin

Perfect. What happened?

Gibbs

There's nothing more boring than perfect. [laughs, they all stare at him]

Agent Abigail Borin

[Abby hugs her when Borin shows her a large cup of Caf-Pow] Oh...that is a lot of affection for some caffeine. Should come around more often.

Abby

Yes. I agree with that 110%! Although that's not numerically possible. For emphasis it totally works.

Gibbs

You ready to go? I'm driving.

Borin

No. After everything's that happened, I think it's the best for everyone if I just pull out of the case. It's fine. Look, I'm gonna call headquarters, they're gonna send in another agent––

Gibbs

No, Borin. I have it. My case, my call.

Borin

[looks at Gibbs] You pulling rank on me, Gunny?

Gibbs

A Marine leaves no man behind.

Gibbs

When you left the Corps, was CGIS the change you were looking for?

Borin

[shakes head] Not exactly. At least not at first. More like running away than a fresh start. [pauses] But eventually it became more....work started to mean something. I started to feel....

Gibbs

A sense of purpose again?

Borin

[smiles at Gibbs] You're good.

Abigail Borin

It's Hostage Negotiation 101, DiNozzo. Keep them stalled, keep them calm, keep them talking.

Tony

[grins] Just like dating. [Borin glares at him]

Tony

Hey...still here, Borin? Admit it, I'm growing on you.

Borin

Like a barnacle.