[After another attack by Vultare's thugs ends in failure.]
The Vikings in this movie don't vike very well.
S9Quest of the Delta Knights
S9The Pumaman
JJane
So, dinosaurs died out because they forgot how to love each other. Is that right?
In a wrong kind of way, yeah.
[Tony, now Puma Man, flies through London for the first time as Vadinho watches.]
Yeah, first thing he does is poop on my car!
CACrow [as Vadinho]
Look out for the-- oh, boy, right into the propellers.
They gave him the Captain Dork costume by mistake.
CCrow
[Singing to the Puma Man theme music] Pu-ma Man, he flies like a moron!
He has the project to rear project major cities.
A bird gets sucked into his engine and he goes down immediately.
CCrow
Yeah, they'll find his black box and hear "DAH! WHOA HO!"
Are criminals genetically drawn to construction sites?
[As he prepares to use his teleportation power, Tony tosses his cloak back in a rather flamboyant gesture.]
Prepare the Effeminate Mobile!
[As the Puma Man theme plays, Tony prepares to teleport to his friend Matthew while he's driving a fire truck.]
MAMike [as Gilbert Gottfried]
I'm in the fire truck for USA Up All Night.
CCrow
Soundtrack by my little brother's Casio.
SAServo [as Tony]
I keep dreaming of a little man in a tiny car.
[After Kobras has been pronouncing "Puma" the British way the entire movie, the Satellite of Love crew finally gets tired of it.]
You can not escape me, Pyu-ma Man!
CCrow
PU-ma Man!
Oh, is that right? Dee-onald?
You're just a small... insignificant... human being!
No, no, HOO-man being... oh, wait.
[Everyone sings along with the Puma Man theme while Vadinho and Puma Man fight Kobras' henchmen.]
Dick's Red Owl, selection and service...
Snyder Drug, we're busting up prices...
CCrow
When you want the flavor of bacon in a dip...
CCrow
[singing to the theme from The Greatest American Hero] Believe it or not, this movie's still on, it should have ended two hours ago...
[As Tony is nowhere to be seen, Vadinho beats the snot out of Kobras' henchmen.]
CCrow
So, basically, the hero is this guy. I think it's time we all face that fact.
S9The Space Children (movie)
CCrow
Remind me to never be a child.
S9Robot Rumpus (A Gumby Adventure) (short)
The nice thing about Gumby is that you can also use him as window caulk.
[Gumbo slides down the fire truck ladder from the roof in a sitting position.]
MAMike [as Gumbo]
Son, I'm gunna need a can of Play-Doh to replace my butt.
S9The Screaming Skull (movie)
JJenni
How did Marian die?
RSReverend Snow
Didn't Eric tell you?
CACrow [as Snow]
He sat on her head.
JJenni
I think the subject's rather painful to him. I'd like to make him talk about it...
SAServo [as Snow]
Let's just say she was riddled with bullets.
JJenni
Would you mind telling me? I'd like to know.
RSReverend Snow
... It was a rainy day...
MAMike [as Snow]
And he shot her.
RSReverend Snow
She and Mickey had been working up there in the greenhouse. She left him to go back to the house for a few minutes...
CACrow [as Snow]
Then a lion jumped out and shot her. At least, that's what Eric said.
RSReverend Snow
The way we pieced it together after the accident is that...
Servo [as Snow] She got shot.
RSReverend Snow
...while she was coming down this path, apparently it began to rain very hard.
SAServo [as Snow]
Then she got dead.
RSReverend Snow
She must have run along here... we don't know of course what happened then...
MAMike [as Snow]
We should have called the police.
RSReverend Snow
Perhaps she slipped on a leaf. The base of her skull was smashed.
CACrow [as Snow]
Anyway, how are you?
[Over a long shot of Jenni sitting on her bed, not moving...]
CCrow
[impatient] Can we help you, movie lady? Do you need a push or something?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.