[The Disinfesters, wearing shiny, reflective uniforms, move through a gutted building.]
CACrow [as Disinfester]
I gotta tell you, looks like everybody's left the Bronx, Ted.
We gratefully aknowledge the Reynold's Wrap corporation for donating the costumes.
[They come across a homeless man]
MAMike [as Bum]
Well, I s'pose I better leave the Bronx.
[He looks up at the Disinfesters]
CACrow [as Bum]
I thought it was a suggestion!
[The troopers close in on him]
When Habitat for Humanity cracks down!
BBum
Hey, wait a minute, you guys! Look, OK, I'll leave!
DDisinfester
You should have left earlier. Eliminate!
Wow, the Orkin Men have snapped!
[A man and a woman are heard yelling at each other in their apartment]
They're rehearsing a David Mamet play in there.
[Reporter Moon Grey tries to expose Clark's plot.]
A fascist Italian? Come on!!
MGMoon Grey
[being dragged from a press conference] ...and the GC Corporation sucks!
[The other reporters whirl around towards President Clark]
MAMike [as Reporter]
Is that true? Do you suck?
[The Bronx's residents are being led into vans marked "Desinfestation Annihilation Squad"]
[chuckles] I think they blew their cover here!
[Trash escapes from his parents' apartment only to be almost blown up in a stairwell.]
CACrow [as Trash]
D'oh, the Bronx is something which I should have left!
[A heavy steel ladder hangs dangerously above an unconscious Trash]
Ah. The ladder of Damocles.
Yeah, so far his greatest adversary is a ladder.
PCPresident Clark
So... You let them both get away... The girl and that delinquent Trash.
WWrangler
[chuckles] I don't think so. They're both... under... [points at random place in Bronx model] ...there! [points somewhere else] ...or maybe there!
WWrangler
But somewhere there!
[Mike and the 'bots laugh.]
PCPresident Clark
Maybe you intend to go down... to convince them... to waste themselves with some dynamite?
WWrangler
[chuckles] I don't think so.
You guys didn't rehearse, did you?
[A mine goes off underneath two of President Clark's bodyguards]
MAMike [as Bodyguard]
Oh what did you step in!
[Disinfesters jump out of a van.]
SAServo [as Disinfester]
Hi! Kill us!
[They get shot.]
SAServo [as Disinfester]
Thank you!
[As Trash blows up a van]
MAMike [as DJ]
Alright, we're here in the KROQ Supervan giving out a-- [The van explodes. Crow screams.]
SAServo [as Trash]
Hey, rats. That was my van!
[As the film ends, a crane shot shows dozens of bodies sprawled around burning ruins.]
[The credits display: "Laserblast".]
Terrible name for laser eye surgery… scares away the customers.
[A mutated man tries to hide from a spaceship, with a laser cannon attached to his arm.]
SAServo [as Elmer Fudd]
I'm hunting spacecwaft...hehehehehehe.
. . .
[A closeup of the man reveals his gaunt complexion and the disc-shaped apparatus on top of the laser cannon on his arm.]
[After a scene with the aliens, followed by an unrelated scene with Billy's mother leaving for Acapulco, the film fades to another seemingly unrelated shot of a van driving along the road.]
Well, now on to movie three!
