[As the gang enters the theater, the famous Samuel Goldwyn logo appears.]
Hey, why is John Madden signing Samuel Goldwyn's signature?
CCrow
Samuel Goldwyn, Father of the Constitution.
“Escape 2000” · Season 7
In this episode: Crow T. Robot (10), Tom Servo (8), Mike Nelson (7)
[As the film starts, squads of Stormtrooper-like men roughly drag people out of homes. In the background, a loudspeaker continually blares]
LLoudspeaker
You are ordered to leave the Bronx! I repeat, you are ordered to leave the Bronx!
[A man is thrown out a window]
MAMike [as Man]
I forgot my luggage...!
LLoudspeaker
This area has been declared uninhabitable, and destined for demolition! Leave now, and leave peacefully!
[The same man is roughly grabbed and thrown into the street]
CACrow [as Man]
Okay, you convinced me!
LLoudspeaker
You have nothing to fear! The government guarantees to relocate all of you in comfortable, up-to-date, alternative accommodations!
[The man, and others like him, are thrown against a wall and collapse, cringing.]
[snickers]
Mmm-hmm.
LLoudspeaker
Leave the Bronx!
SAServo [as Loudspeaker]
Even though this is Italy, leave the Bronx!
LLoudspeaker
I repeat, you are ordered to leave the Bronx!
MAMike [as Loudspeaker]
You, too, Henry Silva.
LLoudspeaker
The area has been declared uninhabitable and destined for demolition!
CACrow [as Loudspeaker]
Therefore, we suggest you--
AAAll [as Loudspeaker]
Leave the Bronx!
LLoudspeaker
...leave peacefully! You have nothing to fear! The government guarantees to relocate all of you in comfortable...
So leave the Bronx.
Just leave the Bronx.
[The loudspeaker fades out as we see a van with a radio antenna.]
SAServo [as loudspeaker on van]
Vote Johnson! Vote Johnson!
. . .
Hey, I had my radio on. I didn't hear... are we supposed to leave the Bronx?
LLoudspeaker
Isolate area P-6.
CCrow
And we have a Bingo! Hold your cards, please.
[Several jumpsuit-clad stormtroopers run out of building about to be demolished.]
CACrow [as Trooper]
[terrified] Gary saw a silverfish! Aaaahh!
[As a team of stormtroopers raid a building, one stands nearby, next to a sign.]
SAServo [as Stormtrooper]
Hang on Earl, I gotta read this sign here: "Leave the Bronx". Well, gee.
[The Disinfesters, wearing shiny, reflective uniforms, move through a gutted building.]
CACrow [as Disinfester]
I gotta tell you, looks like everybody's left the Bronx, Ted.
Pretty much.
We gratefully aknowledge the Reynold's Wrap corporation for donating the costumes.
[They come across a homeless man]
MAMike [as Bum]
Well, I s'pose I better leave the Bronx.
[He looks up at the Disinfesters]
CACrow [as Bum]
I thought it was a suggestion!
[The troopers close in on him]
When Habitat for Humanity cracks down!
BBum
Hey, wait a minute, you guys! Look, OK, I'll leave!
DDisinfester
You should have left earlier. Eliminate!
Wow, the Orkin Men have snapped!
[A man and a woman are heard yelling at each other in their apartment]
They're rehearsing a David Mamet play in there.
[Reporter Moon Grey tries to expose Clark's plot.]
CCrow
A fascist Italian? Come on!!
MGMoon Grey
[being dragged from a press conference] ...and the GC Corporation sucks!
[The other reporters whirl around towards President Clark]
MAMike [as Reporter]
Is that true? Do you suck?
[The Bronx's residents are being led into vans marked "Desinfestation Annihilation Squad"]
CCrow
[chuckles] I think they blew their cover here!
[Trash escapes from his parents' apartment only to be almost blown up in a stairwell.]
CACrow [as Trash]
D'oh, the Bronx is something which I should have left!
[A heavy steel ladder hangs dangerously above an unconscious Trash]
Ah. The ladder of Damocles.
CCrow
Yeah, so far his greatest adversary is a ladder.
PCPresident Clark
So... You let them both get away... The girl and that delinquent Trash.
WWrangler
[chuckles] I don't think so. They're both... under... [points at random place in Bronx model] ...there! [points somewhere else] ...or maybe there!
...right there!
WWrangler
But somewhere there!
[Mike and the 'bots laugh.]
PCPresident Clark
Maybe you intend to go down... to convince them... to waste themselves with some dynamite?
WWrangler
[chuckles] I don't think so.
CCrow
You guys didn't rehearse, did you?
[A mine goes off underneath two of President Clark's bodyguards]
MAMike [as Bodyguard]
Oh what did you step in!
[Disinfesters jump out of a van.]
SAServo [as Disinfester]
Hi! Kill us!
[They get shot.]
SAServo [as Disinfester]
Thank you!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.