Mystery Science Theater 3000 · Season 7
[A large mob of people (who have never been seen before this point in in the movie) attack Troxartis' castle; several of them scurry up a ladder over the top of the wall.]
Remember, top rung not to be used as a step!
Who are we?!
[Deathstalker randomly appears outside the tower window to confront Troxartis.]
What the-- Uh? Th-- Oh... [as Troxartis] You clever bastard. So the editor's working with you!
[After the climactic battle, Marinda lies dying in Deathstalker's arms.]
I love you!
Quick! Jam a potato in the wound!
You were my first... tuber.
[Deathstalker's friend who looks like Michael McDonald is comforting him after losing Marinda.]
She came from somewhere back in your long ago.
Look, just shut up.
[That night, Marinda's burial-shrouded body lies near a pyre.]
Wrapped in foil, she was buried in coals on the beach.
. . .
[Deathstalker tenderly closes the shroud over Marinda's face.]
[sobbing] Make sure you crimp the foil good... poke her with a fork so she doesn't explode.
. . .
[sobbing] Well... I have to say... she was all-righta. [N]
[A man gives Deathstalker a sympathetic look after Marinda has died]
Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown.
[Deathstalker leaves the kingdom, and everyone is cheering.]
He's leaving! Our long national nightmare is over!
[An eagle flies overhead making a very odd, synthesizer-like squawk.]
You know, it's a lot of things, but it's not a bird sound.
[Deathstalker looks up at the eagle strangely.]
I just heard an eagle meow!
Crow [as army]: We're still fighting bravely for our vague goal!
[On the SOL, Mike has been hit in the face by a crazy pitch from Servo.]
Mike, now say "I was born on a pirate ship."
I was born on a pile of... Hey!
[As Mike and the Bots enter the theater, the logo for American International Pictures (a circle with shapes inside that are supposed to represent the letters "a" and "i" together) appears.]
[chuckling] "Round Guy With Surfboard" International.
[Over the movie's title screen]
The George Hamilton Story.
I.M.U., ready to launch.
You are not me, stop saying that!
[Dr. Ted Nelson tells his coworker Dr. Loring about his wife's pregnancy.]
How many weeks is she?
Fourteen.
A little young to be pregnant, isn't she?
. . .
[The entire building is empty except for Nelson and Loring]
So when do you think the people who work here are coming back?
[Dr. Nelson is in his office with the African-American Dr. Loring, and is on the phone with General Perry.]
How's it looking?
Not too good.
[whispering] There's a black guy in my office!
. . .
[Dr. Nelson asks General Perry when he expects to arrive.]
About 1600 hours... and I hope to hell you've found him by then.
1600 hours? So, like five months from now?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
