CCrow
Remind me to never be a child.
S9The Space Children (movie)
S9Robot Rumpus (A Gumby Adventure) (short)
The nice thing about Gumby is that you can also use him as window caulk.
[Gumbo slides down the fire truck ladder from the roof in a sitting position.]
MAMike [as Gumbo]
Son, I'm gunna need a can of Play-Doh to replace my butt.
S9The Screaming Skull (movie)
JJenni
How did Marian die?
RSReverend Snow
Didn't Eric tell you?
CACrow [as Snow]
He sat on her head.
JJenni
I think the subject's rather painful to him. I'd like to make him talk about it...
SAServo [as Snow]
Let's just say she was riddled with bullets.
JJenni
Would you mind telling me? I'd like to know.
RSReverend Snow
... It was a rainy day...
MAMike [as Snow]
And he shot her.
RSReverend Snow
She and Mickey had been working up there in the greenhouse. She left him to go back to the house for a few minutes...
CACrow [as Snow]
Then a lion jumped out and shot her. At least, that's what Eric said.
RSReverend Snow
The way we pieced it together after the accident is that...
Servo [as Snow] She got shot.
RSReverend Snow
...while she was coming down this path, apparently it began to rain very hard.
SAServo [as Snow]
Then she got dead.
RSReverend Snow
She must have run along here... we don't know of course what happened then...
MAMike [as Snow]
We should have called the police.
RSReverend Snow
Perhaps she slipped on a leaf. The base of her skull was smashed.
CACrow [as Snow]
Anyway, how are you?
[Over a long shot of Jenni sitting on her bed, not moving...]
CCrow
[impatient] Can we help you, movie lady? Do you need a push or something?
[In the greenhouse, Mickey struggles with an armful of flowerpots, dropping them as he tries to pick more up.]
CCrow
GET A BOX!
S10Soultaker
[All-black-clad Soultaker walks down the a hospital hallway, blinking in and out of the picture.]
CCrow
Johnny Cash! Johnny Cash! Johnny Cash!
MAMike [as Soultaker/Cash]
[singing to "I Walk the Line"] Because you're mine, I walk the intensive care unit.
[The Soultaker opens up a stopwatch, which ticks a la the opening sequence to 60 Minutes.]
I'm Ed Bradley...
I'm Steve Kroft...
CCrow
I'm Lesley Stahl...
[The title card swoops into view.]
SAServo [as Don Cornelius]
The SOUUUUUUUUUUUUULTAKER!
[Natalie is getting dressed for Summerfest.]
CCrow
That's not Natalie, that's Tonya Harding!
. . .
[A grooming Natalie appraises herself in the mirror.]
CACrow [as Natalie/Tonya]
You're dead, Nancy Kerrigan!
[some jokes about Brad's car]
CCrow
Ugh, that car must reek of Arby's!
. . .
I'll bet whoever had that car after him never got the smell of Marlboro Lights and Hardee's out of the upholstery!
[As Karen drives off with her uniformed Navy boyfriend, Natalie tries to call her back.]
Karen!
MAMike [as Karen]
Sorry! Love is lifting me up where I belong!
. . .
[Natalie stomps in frustration.]
CACrow [as Natalie/Tonya]
The lace on my skate broke!
. . .
[Zack comes up behind Natalie and startles her. As she spins around…]
CACrow [as Natalie/Tonya]
Jeff Gillooly did it!
[A close-up of the Soultaker (played by Joe Estevez) standing at the end of a road, awaiting the oncoming car Natalie and Zach are in.]
CACrow [as Soultaker/Estevez]
Hi folks, you may be wondering if I'm Martin Sheen. Well, I'm not. Turns out I'm his vastly more talented, yet less appreciated brother. Thank you.
[A prolonged still shot of a tree as the speeding car approaches.]
MAMike [as tree]
Hi. I'm a tree. Just wanted to put in a good word or two in for nature since the camera's on me. Thanks for your time.
[Natalie et al have been thrown from the crashed car, and she appears dead on the ground.]
She's survived by her Danskins.
. . .
[Natalie dizzily gets to her feet after the crash.]
SAServo [as Natalie/Tonya]
Whoa! Triple salchow really takes it out of you!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.