Mike Nelson quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

[Natalie lies unconscious in a hospital bed, respirator in mouth.]

Mike

[singing in Peter Frampton/talkbox voice] I wanna thank you.

[Buz furtively unzips his jacket and checks the pistol tucked into his belt as he steps out of his car.]

[Michelle dances enthusiastically to a bongo beat at Leo's party.]

Mike

She makes Elaine Benes look like a good dancer.

[Young Nicholas and his mother await the mysterious introduction to Merlin at his shop, where a fog creeps slowly across the floor.]

Mike

Merlin sends in his trained flatulence to scout the room.

[Cooper has cast a spell that allows him to breathe fire using Merlin's book]

Mike

Surely, Merlin has brought good into the world!

[Credits read: "A David Hue production"].

Mike

In association with Bob Tet Offensive Productions.

[A homeless man is attacked and eaten by a dinosaur.]

Mike

You know, this has got to be about the last thing you worry about when you're living in a dumpster.

[Characters are hunting dinosaurs, with incessant deep bell music]

Mike

According to the bells, it's 97 o'clock.

Mike

Alright there should be a delay of movie penalty

Servo [makes whistle sound] fifteen yards.

[Close-up of some unidentifiable part of a fish.]

Mike

Please enjoy a fish anus.

[Leopold the fish monster attacks a swimming beauty in a bikini.]

Mike

He's a Cop-a-feel-acanth.

[During a scene set amongst ardent University of Arkansas football fans.]

Mike

A razorback hat lacks the quiet dignity of a cheese wedge.

[In a flashback scene, the Creature and a farmer stare at each other through the farmer's barn.]

[Doc finishes narrating as his group begins walking up some stairs to Crenshaw's place.]