Tom Servo quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000, page 75 ... TV Quotes Database

Played by Kevin Murphy

Mystery Science Theater 3000 · 3,167 quotes

2nd most-quoted character in Mystery Science Theater 3000: in 1,542 of its 3,167 quotes
Most scenes with: Crow T. Robot (818), Mike Nelson (393), Joel Robinson (294)

Scenes with Tom Servo 1,241

[The Edgewood Studios logo appears, showing a dog sitting in a movie theater]

SAServo [as dog]

[talking like Scooby-Doo] Rello, I'm Fido Hitchcock, the rirector of ris rilm.

CCrow

He's got a bucket of crotch-flavored popcorn.

Mike

[groaning] Oh, Crow. So early, too.

[The logo fades out]

Servo

[still talking like Scooby-Doo] Redgewood Rentertainment, Rimited resents--

Mike

Okay, stop.

CCrow

Cut it out.

S8 Time Chasers

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[As the movie opens, a man flies a propeller plane through some odd visual effects]

NNick

Ha-ha! Nick Miller, you are a genius!

SAServo [as Nick]

A crop-dusting genius!

S8 Time Chasers

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[During the first scene in 2041]

Mike

[derisively] The, uh, future.

[In a 2041 city, a 10-year-old wearing lime-green pants jogs while talking on a cellphone]

CCrow

So, in the future, kids become gay agents?

. . .

Servo

So... 50 years from now will be 3 years from now...

. . .

[As Nick, Lisa, and Matt go into a building, a burly-looking woman walks by]

Servo

Hey, look--a lesbian... of the future!

[Cut to inside, where the camera pans down to a fairly typical food court]

Mike

Food courts... of the future!

S8 Time Chasers

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[Robertson arrives to meet Nick]

MAMike [as Robertson]

Hi, I'm Bob Evil!

RRobertson

Trust me.

SAServo [as Robertson]

Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

S8 Time Chasers

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SAServo [as J.K.]

I leave for 20 minutes, and EvilCo is in shambles!

CACrow [as Matt]

I'm a team player!

S8 Time Chasers

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CCrow

The movie really heightens the lack of interest in the film.

Servo

Yeah, I think--huh?

S8 Time Chasers

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[As Nick and Lisa's plane crashes towards the rocky shore of a lake, the camera pans to the plane's altimeter]

Servo

They're running out of Alt!

[Cut to a view of the speedometer.]

EEddie

And their Miffnots [MPH KNOTS] are goin' down!

S8 Time Chasers

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[After Robertson's time transport crashes into a tree]

CCrow

27 Keebler elves were killed today when a light plane plunged into their tree!

Mike

E.L. Fudge remains in critical condition.

. . .

Mike

Oh, he's trying to get honey like Pooh!

CCrow

Oh, he's like poo, all right.

. . .

[as Nick climbs down the tree]

CCrow

He's climbing an Ent!

Servo

[in a deep, Entish voice] Hoom hom, get off me, hm.

. . .

[Later in that scene, Robertson shoots Nick and kills him]

CCrow

He died as he lived: mud-stained and splaying.

S8 Time Chasers

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[Nick types in commands to erase the floppy disks containing his time travel software]

Servo

So, eight 5¼" floppies hold the keys to time travel.

Mike

Delete copies of film? Yes. Delete memory of film from mankind's consciousness? Yes.

[As he throws out the last one, the camera pans to a heap of electronics, including one suspiciously long box with a cord coming out of it]

Mike

Hey... even declared war on his surge protector...

S8 Time Chasers

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[The credits display "The Producers Wish To Thank", followed by a VERY long list of people and organizations]

Servo

Wow, they are special thanking the HELL out of this movie!

. . .

Mike

All these people bear... some responsibility, you know.

[The penultimate "thanks" are to "The citizens and officials of Rutland, Vermont"]

Servo

Which means I really, really hate the citizens and officials of Rutland, Vermont. I'm not kidding, Mike. I never liked the citizens and officials of stupid Rutland, Vermont! This is just the nail in the coffin, as far as I'm concerned. Go to hell, citizens and officials of Rutland, Vermont!

S8 Time Chasers

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[Pearl is holding a pledge drive. Servo is trying to call in, but Mike is holding Servo's arm, stretching out the spring.]

Servo

Gimme! Come on, there's still much more to tote!

Mike

Let go of it, man!

Servo

Oh sure, Mike. Go watch your Websters, and your Facts of Lifeses, and your Who's The Bossesesses!

[Movie Sign goes off]

Mike

We got movie sign! [Mike lets go of Servo's hand, sending him flying off screen]

S8 Overdrawn at the Memory Bank

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[The opening credits and movie's theme begin over an image of Raul Julia's head inside a golden electronic cube]

Mike

This lovely Raul Julia pendant, available only on the Home Shopping Network.

CCrow

It's a Raulbik's Cube!

Servo

Heh heh guys, see, I thought that he was Puerto Rican, I didn't know that he was...

Mike

Oh no, don't say it!

Servo

...Cube-in!

Mike

Ahhh.

[The cube begins to fade away]

CCrow

Raul, you come right back and be in this bad movie, young man!

SAServo [as Raul Julia]

But I'm signed to play Archbishop Romero!

S8 Overdrawn at the Memory Bank

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[The gray-haired and fat head of NoviCorp is giving a speech during the opening credits.]

Mike

Wow. TV's Frank!

Servo

Wow. Frank's really come up in the world.

S8 Overdrawn at the Memory Bank

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[Explaining Fingal's problem, secretly watching movies doing work]

AAppalonia

He was working in the data flow center of NoviCorp as a processor third class. He had a terrible job: monitoring routine data output on global climate control.

[The Warner Brothers logo appears on Fingal's screen.]

Mike

And its effect on Bugs Bunny.

. . .

Servo

Man, never show a good movie in the middle of your crappy movie.

. . .

AAppalonia

And he'd been doing it for a few weeks before they caught him doing it.

MAMike [as Appalonia]

Data entrying with no pants.

. . .