[Tylor and Val realize they need to take the baby out of the room so her parents won't find out about them]
Baby?! We have to take the baby out?!
Just while we make the repairs.
Nope. No kids allowed in Monsters, Inc. or Monstropolis.
If she wakes up and the parents catch us, boom! Dead door.
Wait, wait, what if I take her out and keep her asleep--
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Not after what happened last time with Boo. Remember? [imitates Sulley] "Ooklay in the agbay."
TTyler
[whispers to Val] Is he speaking French?
Our lives were almost ruined.
If we can't fix it in time, we got ourselves a dead door.
Yes, me. You see, Sulley, there's a difference between you and me.
Yeah. I'm tall and you're short.
Awesome horns, little nubs.
No! And stop it! Unlike you, Sulley, I can control my feelings. I'm immune to kids' cuteness.
[Mike is keeping the baby in his office]
I just want you to know that that cute little snoring thing you do doesn't affect me.
[loudly enters the office] Hey, Mike!
[the baby starts crying]
[whispering] How's it going?
Perfect. No problem. See? I'm not even affected by little Snore.
[hesitantly] Um, I-I-I...
You told me once that if you name it...
You start getting attached to it. And no, this is different.
I just can't call it "thing." For example, if somebody came in and said, "Hey, Mike, can I borrow that thing?" How would I know what they're talking about? Snore or a stapler? It's completely different.
I just came by to tell you Rant just gave me two tickets to the baseball game.
[gasps] The Monstropolis Creepees vs. the Red Shocks?
Yeah, awesome seats, too.
Oh, that's great! When are we going?
We? Oh, uh, it's today's game. I was gonna ask you, but since you're babysitting, I was gonna see if Fungus wanted to go.
Fungus?! [is about to yell about stops as he knows he would wake up Snore] Fungus?! He knows zip about baseball. I'm the Creepees' biggest fan. [points to his baseball cards and Creepees gear] Look, look, look! And an autographed picture of me with TJ Clawson! I've got tons of monsterobelia! Take Fungus to the opera. You're taking me to the game.
[at the game]
[sniffs] You smell something, Sulley? I think my rotdog's gone fresh.
Well, it ain't me. It's... [gestures to Snore]
[sniffs Snore's diaper and gags] Wow, that's fresh. Makes my eye water. Hey, pal, buddy.
Nothing is more important than our friendship, right?
You owe me for that favor I did for you.
[Sulley slurps his drink loudly]
That I did. I'll pay you.
You're the one who insisted on giving her the rotdog.
Yeah, but I didn't know it would make its way through so quickly. These humans are weird. I still haven't passed something from seven months ago.
You know, my mother always said, "What goes in must come out."
I never liked your mother.
[as Mike returns after changing the baby] Oh, brother, did you miss it! Clawson hit two fast balls! [trails off when he sees how annoyed Mike is] Oh, I got a good feelin' tonight's the night...
Isn't that great? I'm so glad that you enjoyed it.
Oh. Uh... Hmm. Well, if there's anything you need me to help out with...
How about you're cooking dinner tonight and doing the dishes?
Cooking? Well, uh, maybe we could order out.
Order out? Order o-- That's all we do. Why can't we for once have a nice home-cooked family meal together? Answer me that. Answer me that!
But you like ordering out!
That was before the baby.
[The Red Shocks fan behind Sulley and Mike is making noise, deliberately to disturb Snore.]
RSRed Shocks fan
Boo! You swing like a baby! A REALLY WICKED UGLY BABY!!! [laughs]
[Mike turns to the fan, fed up.]
Okay, that's it! Listen, gasbag. How's the baby supposed to sleep with you makin' all that racket?
[The fan gets angry and towers over Mike threateningly.]
RSRed Shocks fan
You's talkin' to me?
[nervously] Uh, no, actually. I was rehearsing a play that we're doing with our local theater group. [chuckles] Yeah. It's called, "How's That Baby Supposed to Sleep With You Making All That Racket"...?
[Tylor, Val and Duncan are stuck in the room after Tylor accidentally shut off the stations panel; Tylor hides in the closet, Val hides in the corner, while Duncan wraps himself with blankets and lies down in the crib]
MMom
I know I heard something. Sweetheart, you okay?
I'm fine. [the parents gasp] Uh, just very sleepy. Thank you, parent. Good night. [blows a kiss]
MMom
Did you hear that?! Her first words!
DDad
And complete sentences, too.
MMom
She's gonna be a genius.
MMom
I gotta call my mother.
DDad
We are such great parents. I told you, co-sleeping with her the first year would make her smart. Dad of the year right here.
RSRed Shocks fan
[angry at Mike] Who brings a stupid baby to a baseball game?
[Mike gets angry at what the fan said.]
RSRed Shocks fan
I said, what kind of class-A moron, ingrate, ding-dong brings a stupid baby TO A BASEBALL GAME?!
[glaring] That's what I thought you said. [puts Snore back in the bucket]
Nobody, not even an overgrown ogre in makeup calls our baby stupid.
What did you do to the door?
You were the last one to touch it.
Explain why this door deactivated for no reason.
You keep distracting me with [mocking Val] "This reminds of this time...", And you remember the time we blah-blah-blah...", And that time we... [speaks gibberish]
This reminds me of that time...
There! See? See? How many times do I have to tell you, I. Don't. Remember. Why is it so important to you?
[sighs] Because... Because... When I first got to MU, no one noticed me. And then... one day in class, you spoke to me. [sniffles] You said, "Excuse me. Is this seat taken?"
[Back at the Laugh Floor, Cutter notices the door deactivated]
Huh. Door's deactivated. That can't be good. [turns the door back on] You guys know the door got turned off?
[gasps] A rescue party! [pushes past Tylor and Val] Outta the way, subordinates. Oh, I just need to breathe some stale air. [inhales deeply]
Whew. That was close. But we, uh, we got through it, didn't we? Heheh.
[sadly] Like our Origins of Fear class. But you don't remember me.
Hm. "You picked the best seat in the house."
When I asked, "Is this seat taken?" You... You said, "You picked the best seat in the house."
Yeah. You, uh, you even shared your Hot Snots candy with me. [chuckles] I remember that because it's, uh, it's my favorite.
College buds. Yeah. Hey, but look at us now. Makin' new memories.
Yeah. Work buds. Why not?
Hey, I know where Duncan hides his Hot Snots.
Yeah. That's definitely candy!
It's candy, and we're gonna eat it.
[They drive off back to MIFT Headquarters]
Yes, the Bowl-off-a-thon. It's almost here, Fungus. The roll of the ball, the sound of a strike. And this year's prize, dinner for two at Harryhausen's.
No Bowl-off-a-thon for you, Wazowski.
Oh, hello, Roze. Now, what's this about me not bowling?
You've still got to do your paperwork.
Paperwork? No. How common. I'm in charge now. Y'know, the SCPOMICE-VDADOCREM. Fungus files my paperwork.
Not file, approve. [drops a big stack of paperwork in front of Mike] Now that you're in charge, you have to approve all the paperwork.
We're completely different.
[Mike's blue doppelganger, Gary, shows up]
GGary
Mikey. Roze, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I wasn't able to finish up my paperwork last night. Y'know, I was busy practicing for the big Bowl-off-a-thon so that I could win... again. Heheh.
Don't you worry that cute little round head of yours. It's just paperwork.
[Mike is shocked]
GGary
Oh, Roze, you are the best.
No, you're the best. [shove the big stack of paperwork to Mike] Good luck, Gary.
[Tylor asks Fritz if he knows bowlers that could compete against Gary's team]
Do I know bowlers? Yes, I know bowlers! They don't call me "No Splitz Fritz" for nothing.
They... They call you that?
Huh. I've never heard them call you that.
Welly, they do, they do, they do. And we've got Pin-Pal Val over there and No-Gutter Cutter. Hmm, Duncan doesn't play, but he loves the snachos.
Huh, well, that is great news.
No, no, that you guys play. That's... Wow. Have you ever thought about forming a team?
Yeah, sure. And maybe, I don't know, entering the Bowl-off-a-thon?
Form a team... The Bowl-off-a-thon... Ha, ha! Oh, I know what you're doing.
Yeah, you're falling in love with us. [chuckles]
I... am doing that. I'm doing what you just said. I am in love, yes.
Yeah, you could be the team captain.
Totally. Yeah, yeah. A chance for me to bond with you guys.
Other than, of course, my actual family that I also have.
How about the "family that lives next door who's a little weird, but you still tell them when you're going on vacation, so they can get your mail" family?
Sure. Yeah. We'll go with that.
[Tylor finds out that MIFT are awful bowlers, but they win the first two rounds by default; Tylor is told by Duncan to meet with him in private]
Hey, Duncan. You know the signs says "secert."
[in a deep voice] I'm not Duncan.
Well, now you're just doing a voice.
[in a high-pitched voice] I'm not Duncan.
What are we doing here, buddy?
[with a German accent] It's a mystery voice. Ah?
Okay, that's fine. Whatever voice.
[Needleman and Smitty appear]
Hey, Duncan. You done with your "secert room"?
Come on. We need our trashcan.
Turn the light off, you idiots! Ugh! [Needleman turns off the light and runs out with Smitty] Get out! Where were we?
DDucan
Uh... [in an ominous voice] The Overnighters. Yes. The third shift. The kind of monsters that monsters fear. They'll get you your win. And your jokester dream will come true.
Great, great. And... but just... Sorry. What do you get out of it?
Just want you to sign a little contract. We'll call it a written agreement.
That's... literally what a contract is.
An agreement that stipulates that you will not in any way hereto now, with, or henceforth forward in perpetuity pursue Fritz's job.
Duncan, I told you the day I got...
I do not care about Fritz's job. I don't want the job.
But now it's legally binded.
Cool. Fine. Just stop with the voice. Whatever. I'll sign it. Just get me the bowlers, okay? [signs Duncan's contract] There!
[the lights go on again]
No! I'm not done! You said you wouldn't be back until 5:47! Get out!
Oh, but we have Fright Club in here.
Don't tell him that! Did you forget the first rule of Fright Club?! [turns off the light and leaves]
[MIFT finds out that Tylor has replaced them with the Overnighters; but the Overnighters leave, disgusted that Tylor betrayed his original team]
Sorry, Mike. I just... I just wanted to impress you. And all I really ended up doing was... [sighs] ...was hurting my team. I really let you guys down, and I'm sorry. I guess we... I guess I have to forfeit.
Whoa, looks like the Big Wazowskis forfeit, which means the winner is--
Wait! You said "team." You're right. We are the Monsters, Inc. Facilities Team. And when you're part of a team, you stand up for your teammates. And regardless of what they do, unless it's illegal and would make you an accomplice to a crime, which I have learned the hard way, you remain loyal. By their side. Through the... Well, you know, through the...
The good in the bag because you know they would do the same for you. So, Tylor, I have a question for you, young MIFTer. Are you part of our team?
Well, I mean, I'm more than part of the team. I'm the team captain. And you know what? I will lead us to victory. Because we are MIFT. We are the Big Wazowskis.
But, Tylor can I remind you that we pee-ew stink?
Well, then, we're just gonna have to stink our way to victory.
[Fritz meets up with Needleman and Smitty about taking a vacation in the human world]
Welcome to Needleman and Smitty's vacation door emporium.
That's right. Each of these doors was personally rescued by us from the shredder, and guaranteed to deliver you to an isolated, human-free destination.
Okay. Oh, please. I can't wait. Tell me, what do you got?
[Smitty, dressed as a sailor, uncovers an old boat door]
Who wouldn't wanna chill out on a cruise to an abandoned ship in the Arctic Circle?
This vacation sounds cool.
Shut up! I give the sales pitch, you're the glamor model.
Transyl-Romania is known for blood-sucking vampires. But what doesn't suck are the deluxe amenities of this musty, deserted castle.
[Smitty stands in front of a medieval castle door wearing fake fangs and paper bat wings and holding a candelabra which burns his bat wings]
You'll have a rotten time in this decaying cabin in the woods.
[Smitty fishes in a bucket and pulls a giant sea serpent that eats his fishing rod]
Nah, too fishy. What else you got?
Soak up the sun at this condemned Caribbean beach resort!
[Smitty plays the steel drum]
Beach vacation! Yes-yes-yes-yes-yes! That's the one!
Excellent choice, my good man. This vacated vacation paradise is yours.
Hold it. You're sure that using a door that was supposed to be shredded isn't against company policy?
Oh, we don't say "against company policy."
That's right. We say "debit or credit."
Okay, everybody, are you ready? 'Cause it's time to play...
FVFritz, Val, and Cutter
Wheel of Temporary Supervisor! [they spin the wheel]
Today's my lucky day, Roto. Can you feel it? Can you feel it?! Yes, yes, yes!
Wait, why is my name on there?
When Fritz goes on vacation, the wheel picks a temporary supervisor.
Yeah, but I see the ambition in your eyes, College Boy. You'd just love to have me under your thumb, squishing me with your little temporary supervisor thumb.
Thumb? What are you... I've told you, Duncan. I have no interest in Fritz's job, okay?
I signed your ridiculous contract.
Right. Like a two-faced charlatan like you would honor a contract.
Two-face... What are you talking about?
Come on, come on, come on! Let's go, wheel! Mama needs a temporary promotion!
Come on, come on, come on!
[the wheel lands on Val's name]
Congratulations, Temporary Supervisor Val.
Oh, I have so many fun things planned for my employees: Mindfulness Mondays, Tamale Tuesdays, Waffle Wednesdays, Friendly French Fry Fridays.
What next, yoga? Uh-uh. Neither me nor my schedule is flexible.
Yeah, yeah, let's hear it for Val. So much for my humble dream of being temporary supervisor. [about to throw his nameplate in the trash] I'll just throw away the only thing I've ever wanted in my insignificant life. [he throws his nameplate in the trash but it hits the edge and knocks the can over] Ah, great. I can't even throw away my dreams right.
Huh. Kinda goes against my better judgement, but I actually feel a little sorry for him.
[on the phone] Yeah. Yeah, Mom, you know how you always told me, "Dreams can come true"? Heh. Yeah, well, uh, I learned today that they can't. No, don't cry. Don't cry, Mom. I tried my best. I did. I did.
[Val tips the wheel over to Duncan's name out of sympathy]
Huh? Looks like I made an oopsie. The temporary supervisor is Duncan!
Me? Moi? The fates have chosen. Well, uh, Mr. Fritz, sir, there's, of course, no way I can match your robust managerial skills, blah-blah-blah, but I will do my best to make you proud, sir, and, uh, supervise the team.
