[Tylor, learning that Monsters, Inc. no longer needs Scarers, has to go through new employee orientation; a training video is played as Mr. Crummyham pauses it, then resumes it each time]
FNFemale Narrator
This is Monsters, Incorporated, where we scare because we care.
Mr. Crummyham[pauses the video] Actually, we don't scare anymore. Now we're laugh power. Sorry about that. [resumes the video]
FNFemale Narrator
Every day on each of our state-of-the-art Scare Floors...
Mr. Crummyham
[pauses the video] Laugh Floors. [resumes the video]
FNFemale Narrator
..our elite team of Scarers...
Mr. Crummyham
[pauses the video] Jokesters. [resumes the video]
FNFemale Narrator
...help support the mission of our esteemed CEO's... [video shows an image of Waternoose]
Mr. Crummyham
[pauses the video] No longer esteemed! [pretending to throat-slash Waternoose] Headed off to the big house! [resumes the video]
FNFemale Narrator
...mission, to create scare energy...
Mr. Crummyham
Laugh.
FNFemale Narrator
...and scare power...
Mr. Crummyham
Laugh!
FNFemale Narrator
...by scaring...
Mr. Crummyham
Laughing! [stops the video] You know what? Forget it. Let's just move on.
Wait a minute. You're saying you're no longer hiring Scarers?
Look at that, would ya, Sulley? With your excellent management skills and my comedic prowess, our profits are up, up, up.
BBean
Actually, profits are down, down, down. [flips the profit chart to the correct side]
Mike, the Jokesters are doing their best, but laugh canister output has been decreasing for weeks.
Right, but at least with me and Sulley in charge, morale has never been higher.
Mr. Crummyham
Morale has never been lower! [shows his moral chart]
Maybe your graph-thingie's upside down.
Mr. Crummyham
No, my graph-thingie is correct.
I'll tell you why morale's down, it's all of these depressing charts.
Mike, we're not generating enough laugh power.
Until we do, we gotta figure out a way to cheer folks up and trim our budget.
Right, right. I'll tell you what. At lunch, I will play 17 holes, instead of all 18. I'm willing to make that sacrifice.
BBean
Mr. Wazowski, we're gonna have to make deeper cuts than that.
BBean
Oozeball tables, fine art, Free Money Mondays?
And I have more ideas where those came from. How about a rooftop swimming pool?
We don't need a swimming pool.
A Monsters, Inc. swim team!
We don't need a swim team!
Then who's gonna use the pool?
Bean, I can explain all of this. ...Actually, I can't explain any of it.
Mr. Crummyham
Hello?! What's to explain? Look at my graph-thingie. I've never seen morale turn around this quick!
And our laugh canister output has already doubled.
BBean
Really? Well. At this rate, profits should turn around rather quickly.
It was all Mike's doing. Good job, Mikey.
Aw, thank you. Thank you, Sulley.
No problem. And did you hear? Tomorrow's Pay Me Back Tuesday.
[Mike chuckles nervously]
Monsters at Work · 69 quotes
