[Stottlemeyer notices Randy writing something down in his notebook]
What's that? [Randy shows the page to him] "It looks like her number came up."
It's a zinger. She's a lotto girl, her number came up. Get it?
You last year? Sergeant Beecham shoved that junkie into a lamppost and he said "I'll keep you posted?"
Everybody heard about it. People were repeating it; it was famous. This is even better. This is a classic.
Yeah I just need to pick the right moment.
MEMedical Examiner
[Approaching] Captain, if you're ready to release the body, I can take her downtown.
Okay. [Starts to sign the paperwork]
MEMedical Examiner
I still don't get it. Who would want to kill the lotto girl?
KOfficer Kelton
I guess her number came up!
[Randy throws his notebook at him]
KOfficer Kelton
Hey! What are you doing?
What are you doing? That was my line, man.
KOfficer Kelton
What are you talking about?
Lt. Disher I just said the same thing two seconds ago! Ask the Captain!
Randy, this is a crime scene. [Randy steps over Marissa Kessler's body to confront Kelton]
You know what, he must have heard me! That's okay, look, it's written in my notebook: "It looks like her number came up." Let's see your notebook!
KOfficer Kelton
Look, I didn't write it down. I just thought of it.
[In disbelief] Whoa-whoa-whoa! Can you believe this guy? You know, I'm gonna have your badge, Officer...
[Stottlemeyer grabs him and drags him away]
Come on, Shecky, let's walk it off.
[Natalie prepares for her first lottery drawing]
BLBilly Logan
Excuse me, new girl. New girl, you're off your mark.
BLBilly Logan
Yeah, the big X on the floor. Look where I'm pointing.
SMStage Manager
90 seconds!
90 seconds? Wait-wait, I never got a script! Excuse me, I never got a script!
BLBilly Logan
There is no script. This is the lottery. For the love of God, if there was a script, we'd all be rich. [To himself] Amateurs... [walks away]
[Stan Lawrence approaches Stottlemeyer and Disher]
SLStan Lawrence
Captain, Lieutenant. How's the investigation going?
Well, we're just getting started. We've spoken to the staff, the camera crew; everybody said they left the building after the show.
SLStan Lawrence
They usually do.
Well somebody was here. The girl didn't stab herself.
SLStan Lawrence
You wanted to know if Marissa received any fan mail. Some of them are very dicey, you know, personal. I put those on top.
BLBilly Logan
I need quiet everybody! New girl, you're on, in 5, 4, 3, 2.... [The theme music starts up]
Good evening, people. Welcome to the Big Gold Rush Pick 6. I'm Natalie Teeger. Are you ready to play? [Pause, then Monk gives her a gesture that implies; "get-on-with-it" ] Then let's play, the lottery! And the first number is... [long pause. Billy Logan gestures to the button on the drum]
BLBilly Logan
[Whispering] Turn it on. [Pause] Turn it on! [Natalie leans over, and presses the power button. She jumps, startled]
My god! [The numbers are drawn] And the first number is.... 25. My mother's birthday. The next number.... 52. 52... cards in a deck. The next number.... 7. The Seven Dwarves.
[Tears up some fan mail] Seven dwarves.
[Draws the number 32] The next number.... 32. 32 teeth. [Clicks her teeth and draws the number 10] 10. My boss's absolute favorite number.
Apparently not everybody's favorite. [The number 17 gets drawn] And the final number is 17, my daughter's age. [Little wave] Hi Julie! [Pause] Once again the winning numbers for today are 25, 52, 7, 32, 10, and 17. So, that's it for now! Keep playing lotto. [Pauses] You'll thank me later! [The music stops]
"You'll thank me later?" That's my line! I say that!
[Tearing up some fan mail] You know, I might as well flush twenty bucks down the toilet once a week.
[Monk confides to Dr. Bell that Natalie's position as a lottery hostess is interfering with her other position as his assistant]
Natalie's your friend. Maybe you're afraid she doesn't need you any more, maybe you're afraid you're going to lose her.
Or maybe I just feel insulted!
What I do is hard! I am out there, I am sweating out every clue! I am putting killers behind bars! What does she do? What does she do?! [He grabs a calendar off the desk with the date "July 16" on it] "91! Number 91! 91! Number 91! 91! Number 9- I mean, how hard is that? You know, a talking monkey could do her job! It's embarrassing.
Actually that's a 16. See, you're holding it upside down.
[Glances at it] Oh, it's confusing. There's usually a little line under the 9.
But I see your point about the monkey.
All I'm trying to say is... it's not the same Natalie! If you knew her you wouldn't know her! Last night after the show, she got somebody fired!
One of the crew, sound guy! There were some wires on the floor, and she was just like... [mimics Raptor-like snarling] ...you know, complaining.
[Accidentally trips over some cables] Excuse me! Do these cables have to be right here?!
BLBilly Logan
Yes they do, because they carry your voice from this microphone to that soundboard.
Well can't you move them somewhere else?! They almost broke my neck!
BLBilly Logan
Almost doesn't count.
Fine. I'll do it. [She starts to move the cables. Billy comes over]
BLBilly Logan
What are you doing? Are you mental?! Put it down! Put it down.
BLBilly Logan
Let go! [Stan Lawrence comes over]
SLStan Lawrence
Billy, what the hell is the matter here?
Stan, I can't work with this guy!
BLBilly Logan
What, YOU can't work with me?! Who do you think you are, lady?! I've been here for eight years, and you're just another untalented face!
SLStan Lawrence
Billy! Calm down!
Untalented, huh? The ratings keep going up every night! How do you explain that?!
BLBilly Logan
The ratings go up when the jackpot goes up! It has nothing to do with you, you moron!
SLStan Lawrence
Billy! I've warned you before about your attitude. That's it. You're out of here! You're fired! Somebody call security! [Natalie turns around]
No-no-no, don't fire him!
BLBilly Logan
See, look, I'm moving the cable! [Two security guards seize him] Stan, please! Don't do this!
SLStan Lawrence
It's too late, Billy!
BLBilly Logan
I'm sorry! I'm apologizing!
SLStan Lawrence
Mr. Logan has been terminated. I don't want him back in the building! You make sure to get his security pass and keys. Get him out of here!
[Monk and Stottlemeyer are examining Malcolm O'Dwyer's body]
It's the other lens. [Pause] Looks like you were right: nobody jumps after putting in just one contact lens.
Do you want to put it in this evidence bag? [He holds up the bag, which has a number 32 on it, and then, in an approximation of Natalie's voice, he says] Bag #32. Hey! 32! Thirty two! 3-2. 32! [Natalie, who is signing autographs, stops signing and walks over to confront Monk]
Mr. Monk, are you mocking me?! In public?! I don't make fun of your job!
That's because I have a real job. I'm solving a homicide here.
Well, I have a real job too. I am changing peoples' lives. I'm making them rich.
[With an authoritative tone] Oh, you are not making them rich! You're not giving them financial advice. You're just reading little numbers off little white ping pong balls! And if it wasn't you, they'd just hire some other bim- [becomes silent]
Some other what? "Bim" what?!
[Mulls it over] Bimportant person.
Mr. Monk, do- do you think I'm a bimbo?! Look, I know what I do isn't the most bimportant job on the planet, but what do I do for you?! Hand you wipes all day long? Pick up your laundry? You know people admire me now, and I admit it, I am enjoying the attention! I guess I needed it!
Yeah, uh, I'm sorry, but I can't work like this! So you're gonna have to choose.
[He gestures to himself and Stottlemeyer, and then to Natalie's fans over by the police line]
[Relieved] Thank god! Well call the station manager, and tell him to find somebody else.
No I quit you. I quit us.
[Monk's face turns to shock, and Natalie passes under the police tape and runs off, her fans following her]
