“Mr. Monk and the Lady Next Door” · Season 7
In this episode: Adrian Monk (4), Captain Leland Stottlemeyer (3), Natalie Teeger (2), Lt. Disher (2), Dr. Neven Bell (1)
What's the catch?
With what?
With Marge, what do you suppose she's after?
Uh, Adrian—
Every time somebody wants to be my friend, it turns out they're after something. They have an angle!
Not necessarily.
How could somebody - how could anybody - love me unconditionally? I mean, come on, you met me!
Adrian, I know you've been burned in the past, but you have to trust people. See, there's not always a catch.
Then how do you explain this? There's always a catch.
[Monk surveys the jewelry store robbed by John Keyes the night before]
The killer wore a ski mask, ergo the killer was afraid he'd be recognized, ergo the killer must have worked here recently.
[Writes in his notepad] "Ergo the Killer". Is that Hungarian?
His name isn't Ergo, Randy.
[Randy has noticed that Togo the Egg-Eating Robot is missing]
I come here every year on my birthday. Sorta like a family tradition.
When you were a kid. [Randy glares] You meant when you were a kid. Say "yes," Randy.
Yes.
[John Keyes has taken Monk, Natalie and Stottlemeyer hostage]
Keyes, you don't wanna do this. You don't want to kill a cop.
Or an ex-cop.
Or an ex-cop's assistant.
[Last lines; Monk and Natalie have parted with Marge]
A pirate?
It's more fun to be a pirate.
That's good advice. Come on boss, I'll make you some lunch.
What are we having?
Ooh, chicken pot pie, with a little Jolly Roger flag on top and a bottle of rum.
Okay, you don't have to beat it to death.
[Imitating a pirate] Shiver me timbers, you look hungry!
Yeah, okay, how is that funny?
It's funny.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Monk pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
