“Mr. Monk's Other Brother” quotes from Monk

Don't move! There's a gun in here! Take my word for it.

Adrian, wait! Who are you calling?

Who do you think?

No, wait! You don't want to do that!

I don't, huh?

No, come on! Put the phone down, and-and the "gun"!

Give me one good reason.

I'M YOUR BROTHER!

I'm a con-man, I'm a grifter. I'm a lovable rogue!

A lovable rogue? People don’t call themselves "lovable rogues".

Lovable rogues do.

Come on, I didn't kill that woman! I crawled through the sewer, when I got to the parking lot, she was already dead!

Wait, wait, wait, go back... you crawled through the what-what?

I crawled through the sewer, that's how I escaped...

No, wait, go back... you crawled, through the what?

The sewer.

Wait... [whimpers] Go back.

Just one phone call. For old time's sake.

We don't have any old times.

Sure we do. Come on, remember... oh, remember in the hallway, when you hit me over the head with that metal box?

That was a half hour ago!

Yeah, well it's something. I mean, it's a start.

Jack, was he a good father?

Look at us, what do you think?

Was he a bad father?

Look at us, what do you think?

Monk

All I ever wanted was a real family. I used to pray for one.

Dr. Neven Bell

I hate to break the news to you, Adrian, but you already have a real family. In many ways, your situation is typical; I've seen it quite often. [Monk raises his eyebrows]

Monk

There's a four state dragnet on my brother. Do you get that a lot?

Hand to God--

God doesn't wanna see your hand!

Are you sure?

I'm 80% sure he's the guy. [Reese immediately opens fire on them from the roof and they dive behind a tool rack] I'm 95% sure!

He's my brother.

Half-brother.

I'm rounding up.