Frank the Pug quotes from Men in Black: The Series

Goodbye, cruel world. Hello, guts.

J

What did you swallow, anyway?

Nothing. Must be a hairball. Get me some water, will you?

J

There's a white porcelain bowl in the other room. All you can drink.

You drink of the toilet, mac. I'll take pictures.

J

Then I guess you're not thirsty.

Just because I look like a dog doesn't mean I am one. In fact, it takes seven dog years to equal just one of mine.

What's wrong with ya?! You scared the living daylights outta me!

J

(referring to the Void Density core) That's not all I scared out of you.

Drekk? Uh... Never heard of him. You're barking up the wrong tree.

J

Funny. Thought you guys were tight.

Cell mates? Zartakla prison?

Look. All I know is what everybody knows. Guy's a certified psycho. The whole time we shared a cell together, all he could talk about was getting even with everyone who ever crossed him since the first grade.

And the judge who put me away. Know what I'm gonna do when I get my hands on him?

(reading a magazine) Surprise me.

I'm gonna boil him alive. Real slow. And the guy who cut in front of me in the mess hall. Know what I'm gonna do to him?

Give him a wedgie?

No. I'm gonna boil him alive. Real slow. (Grabs Frank by the throat, knocking the magazine out of his paws) Just like I would boil you, Frank! If you EVER CROSS ME!!

Uh... I don't know nothin' about Drekk.

Nothing?

Well, maybe one thing. He picks.

Locks?

J

Pockets?

His feet. It's disgusting! All day, all night. Talk about revenge, pick his feet. Pick his feet, talk about revenge. Drove me nuts!

J

You're so chic? You scratch yourself in public!

Hello!? I'm in a dog suit! It's part of the act! I'm a real sophisticate under this mangy skin, you know.

You ought to get a doggie door, Zeddie.

Zed

No, I ought to get a sign: "No mutts allowed!"

K! Boy, am I glad to see you!

You're never glad to see me, Frank. What's got your tail in a tangle?

I got bit! By a werewolf!

What did he look like?

Terrier. Jack Russel. Mean.

What makes you think that this terrier was a lycanthrope?

Hello!? It bit me! On Halloween night! Under a full moon! You're a bright guy. Do the math.

Don' know why you called me, Frank. Supernatural is outside of MIB jurisdiction.

Who you gonna call?

Recommend a rabies shot. You don't know where that terrier's been.

If I sprout hair at midnight and start howling at the moon, it's gonna be on your head, K!

Slick?

J

Something's going down. I got a big ugly shrub in L's lab.

(to Frank) You went into my lab!?

Thought the sign said "Lavatory". I was gonna bust!

J

Frank! Wassup?

I'm freezing my tukus off here!

J

Merry Christmas. (leaves a present for Frank)

I'm Jewish.

[holding a comic book] Can you believe humans actually read this junk!?

Sugarcoats the plight of aliens living on Earth, let me tell ya.

Tch! Funny books! They're a tissue of lies!

Yeah, you don't see me wearing a cape like... er... what's his name?

Oh, yeah. I know the guy. Leaps tall, and he's stronger than something or other, and, he's faster than something...

That's him. He lands on Earth and what does he get? Loving parents, good looks, a career in journalism, and babes.

And he does it all in a leotard!

Oh... Mui macho!

Why are we talking like he's real?

He's not?

What are you doing here, Frank? Cafeteria's closed.

Ah, the just love to razz me. We're like family. Agent L, this is Veronica. My date.

Really? (shakes Veronica's hand) You know we do give free eye exams.

(growls at Agent L) (to Veronica) Uh, better keep moving.

Psychological counseling too.

J

So, how is it that you're an expert on Egyptian history?

I happen to be a cultured, well-read alien about town.

J

Who roots through garbage cans.

Y'know, the ancient Egyptians were way ahead of their time. Engineering, astronomy, architecture, and the worship of dogs.

J

Thought the dudes answered to cats.

Cats got all the press but dogs ran the show.

Read us a story.

J

And keep it down to a low growl.

Hieroglyphics from the old kingdom. 3500 BC. "To release the demon within is to doom the world".

Any mention of Socclarian?

That's the ancient name of the magical scepter that the mummy will use to bring death, destruction, and pestilence. If you believe in that kind of mumbo jumbo.

Way to go, mush mouth. I was this close to being high and mighty forever.

Heh! You!? That scepter hand my name written all over it!

Funny. I don't remember seeing the word "idiot" written on it!

[The mummy] spoke. Something like "social" or "soccal" or...

Socclarian?

Hey! The dog! It talked!

You've been working too many nights. (neuralizes the guard)