Chief Zed quotes from Men in Black: The Series

Alpha

[trying to upload memories from Zed's brain] You were somewhat devastated when your dog contracted rabies and you had to... shoot him.

Zed

That's the end of Old Yeller, you mooncap!

Alpha

... So it is. But a memory, nonetheless.

You ought to get a doggie door, Zeddie.

Zed

No, I ought to get a sign: "No mutts allowed!"

J

Ye Merry Gentlemen in Black! That's what I'm talkin' about!

Zed

Santa Claus is back in town. That's what I'm talking about.

Alpha

Go on, Zed... destroy me. Do it!

Zed

No. You're a mere mortal now. You'll be punished like one.

Zed

East Village. Our Crypt Van Winkle just up-ended a cab.

J

Sounds like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the sarcophagus this morning. Ha ha ha. (Zed, K, L, and Frank give him weird looks. Then Zed takes a sip of his coffee) You guys gotta lighten up.

So you're telling me there's been a secret organization called the Men in Black for the last forty sum odd years? So secret that no president even knew about it?

Zed

Yes. Well, except for Nixon of course. Say what you will about the man, he could keep a secret.