Jack Jeebs quotes from Men in Black: The Series

K...

What happened here, Jeebs?

Nothin'. Just, business as usual.

J

Then, whataya doin' on the floor?

Just... looking for something.

[holding Jeebs's hand] This? [holding Jeebs's leg] Or maybe this?

J

Size 9 Triple-E? Not mine.

[in several pieces all over his shop] Come on, guys, you can't leave me like this!

Don't worry. You'll pull yourself together. In an hour or two.

(sees Jeebs) Jeebs... (to the agent next to him) Who let him in here?!

He's not a guest?

He runs a pawnshop. He's a scavenger.

Hey! I don't speak ill of your career.

You have three seconds to get out, Jeebs.

It's a free...

You were supposed to count, K!

(puts gun away) Got no time to count.

Virtual Selective Memory Projector? Sorry, guys. Wouldn't know anything about that.

J

Why is it that whenever yous say, "Wouldn't know anything about that", I get the feeling that you know everything about that?

You... have no trust in your fellow man?

Jeebs...

[gasps]

[points a giant laser canon at Jeebs] Our fellow man doesn't splatter green goo. Show us the goods now.

[pushes a button on his desk and a secret drawer opens]

J

Bingo!

How did that get there?

[holding a comic book] Can you believe humans actually read this junk!?

Sugarcoats the plight of aliens living on Earth, let me tell ya.

Tch! Funny books! They're a tissue of lies!

Yeah, you don't see me wearing a cape like... er... what's his name?

Oh, yeah. I know the guy. Leaps tall, and he's stronger than something or other, and, he's faster than something...

That's him. He lands on Earth and what does he get? Loving parents, good looks, a career in journalism, and babes.

And he does it all in a leotard!

Oh... Mui macho!

Why are we talking like he's real?

He's not?

Dak

It was bad enough sharing a bathroom with you!

Yeah, well would it kill you to brush your teeth once in a while!?

[Wakes up from his nap after hearing the bell ring]] K! J! What brings you here?

Pair of insects.

J

We think they've been power shopping.

You check Bloomie's? They have a much larger selection. [K blows Jeebs' head off, then it grows back] When will I learn?

Get me off this planet! Now!

No advanced reservation, height of the season, gonna be a surcharge.

Fine. Whatever. Just make it quick.

Something giving you the heebie-jeebies?

A Hyperian in mummy's clothing.

A Hyperian? Here? You sure?

Ugh. Positive. I saw those animals wipe out an entire city on my home planet. (takes off his disguise) Still gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.

Didn't happen to notice if mummy dearest had the Scepter of Socclarian on him, did you?

Way to go, mush mouth. I was this close to being high and mighty forever.

Heh! You!? That scepter hand my name written all over it!

Funny. I don't remember seeing the word "idiot" written on it!