Agent L quotes from Men in Black: The Series

Sorry. I thought my head was gonna go scanner.

Doesn't that door lead to... airless space?

If saving the world was easy, anyone could do it.

J

Is this thing safe?

It's intended for the originator of the memories. It'll either work, or your head will explode.

You asked.

Virtual Selective Memory Projector? Sorry, guys. Wouldn't know anything about that.

J

Why is it that whenever yous say, "Wouldn't know anything about that", I get the feeling that you know everything about that?

You... have no trust in your fellow man?

Jeebs...

[gasps]

[points a giant laser canon at Jeebs] Our fellow man doesn't splatter green goo. Show us the goods now.

[pushes a button on his desk and a secret drawer opens]

J

Bingo!

How did that get there?

J

Always up for "chicken", huh!?

You made me bail out at the last second!

Jay, there's no time for another job! There's something important you have to do now!

I agree.

(gasps)

J

Consider it a favor.

Favor returned. With interest.

J

These thirty-seven-hour Centaurian days are frying my brain, L.

You're not the only one working long hours.

J

How do you do it, then?

I... have my methods. The festive duck stomp is one way to put your carp together and matriculate.

J

I must be loosing consciousness. Could have sworn you just said--

The garden gnome prances when my long johns are filled with cheese... (melts)

You've been there for quite a while. Maybe you should give #2 a shot.

No. No. I can hang. I still feel real.

You all do, number 1. Until the babbling starts. And you find yourself melting faster than a waterlogged wicked witch.

If you're so rested, shouldn't you be heading back?

J

With two more clones in the closet? All work and no play makes J grow up to be just like K.

So you're the "Man" in Black who 86'ed my brother?

You must mean Edgar. I see a resemblance.

I'm much better looking.

So, why am I still alive, er... Adam?

Dung.

[repulsed] Pretty name.

Queenie wants you alive. Wants to flay you herself.

Aren't you going to eat before the long trip?

I just said she wants you alive!

I mean sugar.

No. I got 10,000lbs of Queenie's Royal Jelly waiting for me back home. That's the bounty on your head.

Hmm. I shouldn't.

J

Get your grub on, girl. How often do we get to enjoy a spread like this?

First Friday of every month. Morale boosting gatherings like these are why Zed's the top man.

J

Appretiate the inside scoop, U. Mmm. Can't wait to suck up this chow.

I heard that.

Slick?

J

Something's going down. I got a big ugly shrub in L's lab.

(to Frank) You went into my lab!?

Thought the sign said "Lavatory". I was gonna bust!