“The I Want My Mummy Syndrome” quotes from Men in Black: The Series

Zed

East Village. Our Crypt Van Winkle just up-ended a cab.

J

Sounds like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the sarcophagus this morning. Ha ha ha. (Zed, K, L, and Frank give him weird looks. Then Zed takes a sip of his coffee) You guys gotta lighten up.

J

So, how is it that you're an expert on Egyptian history?

I happen to be a cultured, well-read alien about town.

J

Who roots through garbage cans.

Y'know, the ancient Egyptians were way ahead of their time. Engineering, astronomy, architecture, and the worship of dogs.

J

Thought the dudes answered to cats.

Cats got all the press but dogs ran the show.

Read us a story.

J

And keep it down to a low growl.

Hieroglyphics from the old kingdom. 3500 BC. "To release the demon within is to doom the world".

Any mention of Socclarian?

That's the ancient name of the magical scepter that the mummy will use to bring death, destruction, and pestilence. If you believe in that kind of mumbo jumbo.

Get me off this planet! Now!

No advanced reservation, height of the season, gonna be a surcharge.

Fine. Whatever. Just make it quick.

Something giving you the heebie-jeebies?

A Hyperian in mummy's clothing.

A Hyperian? Here? You sure?

Ugh. Positive. I saw those animals wipe out an entire city on my home planet. (takes off his disguise) Still gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.

Didn't happen to notice if mummy dearest had the Scepter of Socclarian on him, did you?

J

Why do you always get the cool stuff?

Way to go, mush mouth. I was this close to being high and mighty forever.

Heh! You!? That scepter hand my name written all over it!

Funny. I don't remember seeing the word "idiot" written on it!

[The mummy] spoke. Something like "social" or "soccal" or...

Socclarian?

Hey! The dog! It talked!

You've been working too many nights. (neuralizes the guard)