Frank Marion Burns quotes from M*A*S*H

Frank

So like you, Hunnicutt. Not a patriotic bone in your body.

Hawkeye

No wonder the man flunked anatomy, he thinks there are patriotic bones!

Frank Burns

[spotting Hawkeye browsing through his personal shelf] What are you doing up there?

Hawkeye Pierce

I just wanted to borrow your Bible, Frank.

Frank Burns

Since when are you two interested in the Bible?

I peeked at the end, Frank. The Devil did it.

Margaret Houlihan

Sickening!

Frank Burns

Animals!

Frank Burns

Your conduct in there was not only unbecoming an officer, it was equally reprehensible as a medical man!

Hawkeye Pierce

Frank, I happen to be an officer only because I foolishly opened an invitation from President Truman to come to this costume party. And as for my ability as a doctor, if you seriously question that, I'm just gonna have to challenge you to a duel.

Swords or pistols?

Hawkeye Pierce

I was thinking specimen bottles at twenty paces.