[After Stevie punches Reese]
Stevie, what the hell do you think you're doing?! You are in so much trouble! This behavior is totally unacceptable! We are at a restaurant. What is wrong with you? (Stevie is about to speak) Don't you take that tone with me! You just wait till we get home!
Oh, like you didn't deserve it. (to Kitty) Good for you! I knew you had it in you.
W Waiter
Excuse me, don't you mind please keeping it down?
Would you mind going to hell?! And I absolutely did order tea! How hard is it to remember a stupid drink order, you idiot?!
Abe [drunk]: Kitty, there's going to be some changes...
(to Abe) And you, Mr. Ho Hos in his sock drawer! Who do you think you're kidding?
Honey, you have to pace yourself.
(to Abe) And another thing, Don Juan. There are two people in that bed!
Whoa, interesting dinner. Stevie beat the crap out of Reese, his dad got drunk, and his mom went totally psycho. Oh my god, we're contagious!
What sounds more idiotic: "Let's go to the desert, kids" or "Good idea, Dad"?
I don't like ghosts. They eat little boys.
You know what nobody's mentioned, is that this is supposed to be the greatest army in the world, and you couldn't even kill the three of us. I gotta tell ya, I'm not impressed.
(sees some explosive devices) Okay, I just figured this out... RUN!!
That's not good, cougars don't just blow up!
As near as I can figure, I did it with my mind.
I wouldn't talk to me like that if I were you.
Hal (to an army general): Well, the thing is that when we saw the fence we did not know if we were going in or out, Malcolm, do you want to explain it?
Malcolm (terrified): No, I don't.
Yeah, well, we would have water if some idiot hadn't used to it write a S.O.S in the sand.
Oh, I see. You people let me carry the water and all of a sudden I'm the idiot.
Dewey, I only have one phone call, so put your mother on the phone so she can come pick us up.
(Dewey puts the phone down)
Hal, you made me sit in the car for eight hours a day listening to Keno. Now you're telling me you don't want to gamble?
We are surrounded by the great outdoors, Lois. I mean, we could all go for a hike.
Okay, what have you done?
Why are you avoiding the casino?
[referring to Dewey ] I don't believe this! Here I'm supposed to be the genius, and I'm being outsmarted by someone who can't tie his own shoes!
[Malcolm and Reese are locked out of the house at night.]
What are we going to do now?
[falls into a cesspool via a trap they had set up earlier] AAAAAHHHH! Oh my God! What is this stuff?
Well, at least the night isn't a total loss.
Come on, Reese. Hurry up!
Sorry, I had to put the "lemonade" in the fridge.
‹ Previous Page 4 of 15
Next ›
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Malcolm in the Middle pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
