I am not taking traffic school.
Honey, if you don't take traffic school, you'll get a point in your license.
I'm not getting a point in my license because I'm taking this to court. I did nothing wrong and I got three eyewitnesses to prove it. They saw exactly what happened.
[The camera comes up to Reese and flashbacks]
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...
[as Lois is saying "blah," Reese is taking gum off his shoe. The camera comes up to Malcolm and flashbacks]
Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack...
[As Lois continues quacking, Malcolm is drawing a pirate on his arm. The camera comes up to Dewey and flashbacks]
Dewey, Dewey, Dewey, Dewey, Dewey, Dewey, Dewey, Dewey, Dewey, Dewey, Dewey, Dewey...
[As Lois is saying his name, Dewey is driving the wheel as Lois is in the passenger's seat.]
MRMalcolm, Reese, & Dewey
You're right, mom!
I don't understand it. How can we get 16 unpaid parking tickets and not even know about it?
[The scene switches to Francis on the phone at Marlin Academy.]
I was in jail, Francis. Jail, all because you didn't pay your parking tickets. How could you gotten 16 parking tickets?
It's not my fault, you keep me stuck here. When I come home, I have so much living to do, I don't have time to look for legal parking.
You listen mister. Your irresponsible behavior has finally caught up to you and you are going to suffer the consequences. You are paying those parking tickets.
[After Lois tells Francis that he owes the family $747.13 for the unpaid parking tickets.]
This is totally unfair! None of this would've happened if you weren't such a reckless driver!
When I park too close to a mailbox, I didn't endanger anyone's life.
I didn't endanger anyone. I was pulled over by a corrupt cop for a traffic violation that I didn't commit!
[sarcastically] Oh, but when I say I've been framed by the cops, you send me to military school! Ironic, isn;t it?!
That cop was out to get me!
Of course he was. Everyone's out to get you. And the neighbor's cat's the ringleader. Didn't you know that?
Ha-ha, you can laugh all you want, Francis. But until you come up with the money, you are not coming home.
Where am I supposed to get $700?! You're just using this to keep me here.
Yeah, that's right. It was the cat's idea.
Francis, I am not gonna let you weasel out of your responsibility. Because of you, we are done to one car until your father gets his next paycheck. Now you either come up with the money, or you don't come home.
Mom, its impossible. I'm in school. When I'm not in school, I have homework. When I'm not doing homework, I'm in detention. If I'm lucky, I have six hours free a week. At minimum wage, I wouldn't be able to make it home until Thanksgiving 2010.
You bring the yams. [hangs up]
Lois (to the boys after they got pulled over): No one make piggy noises, no one say they smell bacon, and no one claim that they're kidnapped.
Hal [to Craig about the security tape]: You will never mention a word of this to Lois.
Uh Uh. Not one single word.
Dewey (comes up close): Got it?
Hal [to Lois]: I got to admit, it was sexy. Me having to bail you out of jail. (Lois looks at Hal) Well, it was sexy for me.
Oh, yeah, Hal. That was a real turn on.
