Scenes with Jumba 97
[Stitch uses Drowsy to help Lilo fall asleep, but now Lilo can't wake up; Stitch puts sunglasses on Lilo and uses her sleeping body as a puppet to do her errands]
Ah, Lilo! Just in time for some processed grain with dehydrated fruity bits.
[imitates Lilo] Uh, not for me. Stitch. [normal voice] Naga. Naga ti chita. [imitates Lilo] Okay! Um... bye! [drags Lilo to Mrs. Hasagawa's fruit stand]
JumbaWHERE IS EXPERIMENT 360?!?
Jumba
What?! It didn't just get up and walk away!
[they both see Drowsy walking past them with a blanket covering himself]
Eh, I should use less starch in the laundry?
Jumba
Is not laundry! Is my experiment!
[Lilo has failed to convince Mertle and the hula girls to help with cleaning the beach; Pleakley is spraying air freshener all over the kitchen]
Pleakley, what are you doing?!
Oh, I picked up a case of these air fresheners in the store today. Mmm... This mint scent really perks you up. Let's see how "toasted flower garden" makes it feel. [accidentally sprays it on Jumba's face, who grabs him angrily] Hmm, it makes you very very angry. Fascinating.
Jumba
Why does my neck massager have scent of bubble gum?!
To make you feel... happy?
Can you guys help me clean Pudge's grotto today?
Sure, I'll... [Jumba pulls on his arm] Yipe!
Jumba
Eh! Pleakley will be too busy massaging aching shoulders of Jumba while he builds new un-smelly massager!
[Lilo and Stitch have discovered an experiment that cleans up pollution and name it Ploot; Stitch catches an illness that makes him turn yellow, sneeze and grow extra arms from eating too much garbage]
Jumba
Hard to believe I can't solve problem. I'm evil genius.
You sure are a genius. You invented Ploot and he's not even evil at all.
Jumba
What is experiment you call Ploot?
The one who cleans up the pollution.
Jumba
Cleans pollution? Hmmm.... Ah! You mean Experiment 515! [chuckles] No, no. Is not cleaning pollution. Is collecting pollution.
Jumba
The more pollution he collects, the larger and bigger he grows, until he becomes large pollution beast! Then he creates a thick black sludge, which he will spray all over town until everything is covered in a stinky coating of its own trash! [laughs maniacally]
Jumba
Thank you. But 626 is most unwell. If you wish to protect island from being smothered by its own pollution, you'll have to go alone.
[after Lilo and Stitch use combined air freshener to shrink Ploot down to normal size, Ploot finds his one true place by cleaning up the beach]
Pudge says mahalo for cleaning up his home. Oh, and it's gonna rain tomorrow afternoon.
Well, then I'm glad we could help out today.
LLifeguard
Hey, Lilo, this little guy is really helping clean up the beach.
[Ploot chirps happily]
That's great! Way to go, Ploot!
Jumba
Combination of smelling sprays had very positive influence on his personality as well.
Yeah. He's cleaning up the trash but not spitting it out.
Y'know, now that this cove is clean, it could really use the refreshing scent of tropical ocean breeze!
But there already is a tropical ocean breeze.
How about cherry brownie cheesecake? How about pineapple springtime? Hibiscus heaven? Blueberry and mint?
[Stitch has successfully captured Experiment 319; unfortunately, he was pricked by a quill and is acting goofy]
Jumba, why aren't you affected by Spike?
Experiment 319. I'm calling him Spike.
Jumba
Name is all too appropriate. But to answer question, even Jumba's superior alien bottom is not immune to spiky spikes.
Then how come you're not acting dopey like Stitch?
Jumba
Ah, for because Jumba designed Experiment 319 to take normally intelligent planetary population, and increase silly goof factor by 99%, leaving only 1% clever.
Jumba
So, even 1% Jumba brains is super genius. [laughs]
[Lilo finds out that Mertle is cheating by making Teresa look up the answers to every question Moses asked]
Come on, Stitch. No one's supposed to be back here. [sees Teresa typing her laptop]
Moses hasn't asked a science question in a while, so I'll keep that page open.
[Lilo then looks at Mertle, wearing an earpiece up close]
[responding] Good. Just be ready to tell me the answers.
Mertle's cheating! No wonder she seems so smart. [looks at Spike as an idea pops in her head, and smirks] Poor Teresa. Having to do slave work for Mertle. I bet she could use a hug.
[Spike runs up and pokes his quills in Teresa while hugging her, making her all goofy]
[screams] Get off me! Buh!
Come on, Stitch. I think we can handle Mertle now.
Mertle, this next question is for you. Complete this phrase: "For every action, there is an equal and opposite... blank."
Oh, a science question. That's easy. For every action, there is an equal and opposite...
[goofily] Bucket of monkeys!
Bucket of monkeys. [the audience bursts out, laughing] That's not what I meant! I meant...
I'm sorry. That's incorrect. Lilo's team?
Jumba
Considering multidimensional pull of deltarian antimatter-
[Yaarp honks and adds 10 points to Lilo's team]
Jumba
Hmm. Is highly oversimplified.
[enraged] THAT'S NOT FAIR!
SAunt Stacy
Oh, be quiet, Maureen.
[pulls her aunt by the shirt] My name is Mertle! [gets back in her seat]
Maybe Aunt Stacy and I should answer some questions now, dear.
No! It won't happen again! It better not!
[Lilo and Stitch have become immensely fat after hours of eating Frenchfry’s meals. Lilo is snacking on cake and her belly is hanging off her chair. She calls Jumba during a convention]
Jumba? It's Lilo again. Look, I'm sorry, but this is really, really important.
Jumba
Very well. Make it quick please.
It's about Experiment 062. I know he was designed to be your personal chef, but something went wrong. You have to tell me what happened.
Jumba
Tell me you did not reactivate Experiment 062.
Jumba
Listen to me! Is very important to resist eating experiment's meals.
Jumba
Because... once you are properly fattened up, he will try to eat you!
[gasps in shock] Jumba? Hello? I don't think I heard that right. It sounded like you said that 062 would try to eat me. Hello? Hello? [gasps when she sees that Frenchfry has cut the phone's cord]
[Lilo is hurt after Mertle told Victoria that she's weird]
Lilo, you haven't eaten a thing. And I made your favorite: Chocolate Green Bean Surprise!
Jumba
There is hardly any radioactivity this time.
Jumba
Ah, relax! I'm joking! Mostly...
Well, Lilo didn't think it was funny, and I didn't, either!
Jumba
Please! Little girl is sad because you managed to ruin perfectly good chocolate with disgusting green beanses.
I'm not sad because of the food. I'm sad because I almost made a friend that doesn't think I'm weird, and Mertle ruined it.
Whoo! Thank goodness! I thought it was something serious, like my green bean recipe! Uh... I mean, you almost made a friend today? That's nice.
Everybody thinks I'm weird. Mertle, and Yuki, Teresa, and Elena. I thought maybe Victoria thought I was normal and be my friend.
It's never too late to make a friend. You just need to reach out to her, and show her you can be a friend right back.
I guess I can throw a welcome party for her.
Did you say party?! I'm all about parties! What's the theme?
I've got a theme: Lilo's Not Weird.
Hmm, "Lilo's Not Weird". I'm not sure that's a good theme, because objectively, you are pretty... [Lilo glares at him] Pretty! You are so pretty! Oh, so pretty, and witty! So, "Lilo's Not Weird" is the theme then. I have some great non-weird recipes. Oh! And we can supplies from the exciting new super store just outside of town. They have incredible party platters with incredible prices!
It's official! We're throwing a party!
[Lilo and Stitch return home with Swapper]
Jumba
Well, well, well! Experiment 355, we meet again.
[Swapper's eyes glow, but Jumba quickly covers the container with a towel]
Jumba
Uh, uh, uh! None of your tricky trickiness with Jumba. Jumba likes evil genius brain.
LSLilo/Stitch
We kinda figured out what his power is. He's a brain-swapper, right?
Jumba
He once swapped me and wife for an entire month.
LSLilo/Stitch
You must've learned a lot about each other.
Jumba
Oh, yeah. Now she's ex-wife. [chuckles] Long story, don't ask.
LSLilo/Stitch
We've gotta get him to swap us back.
Jumba
355 will swap you back when he is good and ready. Has mind of his own. [laughs] "Mind of his own." Is funny, no?
[Pleakley lifts the towel covering Swapper's container, causing him to swap Jumba and Pleakley's minds]
PJPleakley/Jumba
Oh, no! I've been zapped into an alternate dimension! A place where the laws of time and space are topsy-turvy!
JPJumba/Pleakley
Don't be ridiculous! Our minds have been swapped. You are seeing world through my infinite superior eyes.
PJPleakley/Jumba
Superior?! But the world looks so... weird! And to tell you the truth, tubby!
JPJumba/Pleakley
Ah! At least I can see difference between near and far. [slips and falls] Stupid single eye!
[Mertle and the other girls leave but Victoria stays because she's having fun; Hämsterviel lifts the roof of the house]
HGHämsterviel/Gantu
Greetings, Earthling pack people! I have come for the experiment known as 355!
SLStitch/Lilo
Meega nala kweesta!
JPJumba/Pleakley
Ah, new roof hinge system I installed working perfectly! Keeps repair bills down.
PJPleakley/Jumba
Very thoughtful!
[After Swapper swaps Lilo, Stitch, Jumba, and Pleakley's minds…]
LJLilo/Jumba
Okay. Now who am I?
JSJumba/Stitch
You are me, and I am 626.
PLPleakley/Lilo
Ah, this is much better!
[after defeating Hämsterviel and returning to their original bodies, Lilo, Stitch, Jumba, and Pleakley stand outside]
HGHämsterviel/Gantu
Please, put me back in my own body! PUT ME BACK IN PRISON!!
If you insist. Stitch, would you do the honors? After 355 swaps him back, we'll find his one true place.
Jumba
That 355 will not swap back willy-nilly. Must be properly motivated.
Ih! [cracks his knuckles]
Wait a minute! Why not try a little positive assentive? Like offering the little guy some of my delicious cuisine as a reward?
Jumba
Ah, excellent idea. If 355 does not swap Hämsterviel and Gantu, he will be given nothing to eat except Aunt Pleakley's famous Chocolate Green Beanses Surprise.
[Swapper quivers in fear]
Must you twist everything?!
[Lilo gets the idea from Mertle to make a bed and breakfast in order to help Nani cover the bills]
You wanna do what with our smelly old rundown spaceship?
Make it a bed and breakfast.
Jumba
Ridiculous!
I was thinking about calling it "Jumba and Pleakley's Bed and Breakfast".
Jumba
I'm all for it!
[Because of Shoe bringing bad luck, the bed and breakfast is having no customers and Nani's cars is repossessed; Jumba finds Shoe]
Jumba
Staying back! Is Experiment 113. Designed for making very very bad luck!
[Shoe's horns flash, causing the kitchen faucet to go haywire and many things on the shelves to fall off]
Jumba
Eh, I think. Must make check of original design. All I remembering is of the exact moment I invented 113, my laboratory, for no reason, go "KA-BOOM!"
When didn't your lab go "ka-boom"?
Jumba
Yes, but 113's was specially unlucky. Ka-Boom insurance have just ran out!
[Stitch comes up to Shoe and waves at him; Shoe waves back, and his horns flash causing the kitchen lamp to fall on Stitch; Shoe's horns flash again, and the fridge opens and collapses]
It's true! It is bad luck!
What? That could've just been an accident.
Really?! [opens the freezer] The fridge just happens to break the same day I bought the 96 count box of ice cream sandwiches!
Lilo & Stitch: The Series · 382 quotes
