S13 E14 Star Crossed
C Connors
[after being caught suborning perjury] Thirty years I've been at this. Thirty years trying to knock six months to a year off the sentence of some piece of dirt who, when all is said and done, is gonna rot in Hell anyway. That's some way to measure your life, isn't it? Counting the time that murderers aren't in prison. I have measured out my life in coffee spoons. Couple bucks here and there. A week in Miami Beach twice a year. What about you, Jack? Who are you?
I do what my job requires.
C Connors
That's not enough for me. For once in my sorry life, I dared to eat the peach.
S13 E15 Bitch
C Clerk
Docket #423763. People vs. Jacqueline Scott. Charge is murder in the first degree.
That's as good as it gets. What's your plea?
B Brolin
My client is a valued member of the community. She employs thousands of New Yorkers who depend on her for their salary.
Does she have a cat? I like cats.
The state asks for remand without bail. Miss Scott's wealth makes her a flight risk.
B Brolin
Since when is financial success a criminal offense?
So, let's say we make her that much less offensive. Bail is set at 2,000,000 cash.
Your honor, this defendant could hop on a private plane as easily as you and I could get on the subway.
But can she get a cab in the rain? I'll take your passport, too, Miss Scott.
For added assurance, the People also request an electronic ankle bracelet and house arrest.
Don't fret, Miss Scott. Maybe you can cook up some matching accessories. [bangs gavel] Next.
Do you have any idea how much I pay in city taxes?
I do; I want to thank you for these new shoes.
S13 E16 Suicide Box
S Stevie
So what, you get some kind of raise for every brother you bring in?
That's right man, for every 10 I bring in I get an extra day's pay. If he's got a big mouth, I get 2 days. If I bring him in a little bloody, The Man gives me a damn toaster oven!
C Cushman
Tell him there's no one out there gunning for me.
Well, we can't confirm or deny.
C Cushman
Yeah, right. All those parking tickets, I knew I should have worn a Kevlar bra.
S13 E17 Genius
[Green stayed up all night with an alcoholic to get a lead in a murder case]
5 hours? I hope to hell he called you in the morning.
Hey, the best way to get a drunk to open his mouth is to let him drink, isn't that right, Lennie?
Not that it matters, but does he feel any kind of remorse at all?
No. Clay Warner couldn't care less about anyone.
I can't think of a better candidate for execution.
S13 E18 Maritime
P Policeman
[examining the victim] Gunshot wound. We need to order an autopsy to determine whether it was self-inflicted.
You think she shot herself before or after she jumped?
4 people got on the boat, one got off. The math's not difficult.
S Sean
I don't like boats. They dropped me off in Greenport. Darrell and everybody were fine.
Yeah, there is that pirate problem.
You make one hell of a bad cop!
Practice, practice, practice. I give him about 10 minutes with Ed before he starts to sing.
Our luck, he sings as bad as he lies.
[at a self-proclaimed psychic's trial] So, how will this trial turn out?
J Judge
Very funny, Mr. McCoy. Please don't do that again.
Masters might not be as crazy as he looks. Last year, 50 million people paid 50 bucks to watch 6 psychics talk to George Washington on pay-per-view.
What's the point? I hear the old boy wasn't such a great interview when he was alive.
S13 E20 Kid Pro Quo
Were you home all evening, Mr Scofield?
S Scofield
Except for my constitutional, which I take every evening religiously at 8 o'clock.
You should watch more Masterpiece Theatre , Ed.
Scofield has been standing over the oven for twenty-five years. He thought it was about time he got a taste of the pie.
Now Scofield's out and Anchin's in. That's going to be a hard pill for the parents of the Knowles School to swallow.
Oh, they'll get over it, once they forget about where his money came from.
It's the American way: yesterday's robber baron is tomorrow's philanthropist.
What you're really trying to say is cash trumps merit every time.
S13 E21 House Calls
You know, Ed, I've heard about this, but I never thought it could actually happen.
She shopped 'til she dropped.
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