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SEASON 14

Law & Order · Season 14

Law & Order Season 14 quotes

57 quotes · page 1 of 4

S14 E1Bodies

You know, I can't help but wonder - and this may just be the cop in me, but I'm a little curious - I'd really like to know why you knocked this girl out before you raped her. I mean, how much fun could that be?

BBruner

Wasn't me.

I mean, she's just layin' there, in the cab or wherever, almost like she's dead. I mean, the only thing I can think of is you didn't want her to see...

BBruner

See what?

Come on, man. Both of us have been in locker rooms. Some dudes got it, some don't. And girls these days, they been around, some of 'em. They know the difference. Yeah, I guess if a teenage girl were laughing at you, it would be a whole lot easier to just smack her first. [Bruner starts laughing] What?

BBruner

Oh, I like you.

You didn't ask for bail, Jessica. You must know...

SSheets

I know a lot of things. I know I defended a father who raped and murdered his 11-year-old daughter. I've defended a guy who, for no apparent reason, walked into a grocery store, shot 12 innocent people with an Uzi. Right now, I've got a kid who decapitated his mom, hung her head on a stick outside his church. All the scum of the Earth, they send them my way. I do my best for them. But this guy... So you're turning down my offer?

You know I have no choice.

SSheets

Damn it.

All you have to do is...

SSheets

I can't! Mark Bruner scares the socks off of me, Jack. How am I supposed to represent someone that I'm scared to death to be in the same room with?

Did he threaten you?

[Sheets is silent for a moment, then hands McCoy a document]

SSheets

My motion to be relieved. I know you have to oppose it, but do you really have to win?

The job of a congressman is to become a senator. The job of a senator is to become president. Everyone does what they do for the wrong reasons, but somehow, the whole system works.

That's politics, not law.

Same difference.

Oh, really? What's your secret ambition?

It wouldn't be a secret then, would it?

[discussing Bruner's defense attorney]

Yeah, who is that stupid S.O.B. anyway?

Tim Schwimmer, legal aid, and he isn't exactly stupid.

He listened to his client when he told him about 15 other bodies?

Yes.

He then confirmed his client was telling the truth by taking a peek at those bodies?

Yes.

Fine. What's dumber than stupid?

S14 E2Bounty

DMr. Dworkin

I still think I coulda won, Denise notwithstanding.

The minute she walked into that courtroom, all the sympathy you'd managed to work up for him would have backfired in his face. Turns out, he was in the unique position to know that, better than either of us.

DMr. Dworkin

Lawyer to lawyer: you didn't actually talk to Denise, did you?

No.

DMr. Dworkin

Then how did you know?

I didn't. But I do know that I'm barely white enough to live in Greenwich, Connecticut.

S14 E3Patient Zero

UCUniform Cop

He jumped into the car and took off like a bat out of h-e-double-hockey-sticks.

What precinct are you from? Sesame Street?

S14 E4Shrunk

My ex made me see a shrink.

Now that was money well spent.

Twice a week I used to get on the couch, tell him how the head of the orphanage used to get a kick out of beating me with his shoe.

[laughs] That sounds like Oliver Twist.

[laughs] It is!

CCutler

Cole Porter's lucky he's gone, what with the dearth of respect you show men of the theater.

Cole Porter didn't have a dead woman in his townhouse, Lisa.

CCutler

John Myers? Please. He's as likely to have killed somebody as...

Sweeney Todd?

MMyers

I got six Tonys, two Pulitzers and a mom who killed my dad. That's some resume. They let my mom go to my dad's funeral. She had chains on her wrists. And she turned to me and said, "That's the last ball game he'll ever watch."

S14 E5Blaze

My father. The only one of my tennis matches he actually came to, he spent doing paperwork. It didn't make me love him less, it just made me try that much harder to make him love me more.

Were you successful?

You should see my backhand.

S14 E6Identity

We've been trying to figure out what to arrest you for. Harboring a fugitive, obstruction of justice, or just being a general pain in the ass.

Got a call from my granddaughter last week. She said, "Grandpa, I think you're getting too old to drive." I said, "Really, sweetie? You think I oughta pack in the 'ol Chevy?" She said, "No, the Chevy's okay. It's the Porsche I worry about."

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