Ed Green quotes from Law & Order

Green

Rock, paper, scissors, gun!

Green

Hey, follow the shiny badge!

Green

[to a suspect complaining of a "radiating" pain] Yeah, that's good, now "radiate" your ass up against the wall!

Green

There must be 10, 15 grand here. Where'd you get the money, Bobby?

Bite me!

Briscoe

Go ahead. Bite him.

Green

A civil court judge needs a gun?

Briscoe

Maybe she hands out too much alimony.

Lt. Van Buren

[to Briscoe] You were never a kid?

Green

Old Spice forgot to take his gingko.

Green

I heard the news. We get the gun, they toss it. We get the confession.

Briscoe

We?

Green

I've been sayin' "we" to cover your ass, outta respect for you.

Briscoe

I don't need that kinda respect.

Green

Good, 'cause I've been walkin' on eggshells ever since we caught this case.

Briscoe

'Bout as long as you've been pissin' me off.

Green

Pissing you off?! Why? 'Cause I don't blend in with the rest of the roaches?

Briscoe

Oh, is that what this is about?! Because you know that's not how I meant that!

Green

No, no, no. I will tell you what I know. If it wasn't for your screw-ups, we'd have nailed this guy a long time ago!

Briscoe

My screw-ups?! Your stuff's been gettin' thrown outta court ever since you got here!

Green

Well, maybe I take chances, because my partner can't get it up!

Briscoe

[throws the transcript at his partner] Maybe you just get off on takin' chances!

Lt. Van Buren

BRISCOE!

Lt. Van Buren

In my office!

Briscoe

Guy's juggling at least three lady friends. Must be putting something extra in his tank.

Green

Jealous?

Green

How many of these have you done?

Briscoe

Stakeouts?

Green

No, dead babies.

Briscoe

We don't know for sure the baby's dead.

Green

Right.

Briscoe

To answer your question, too many.

Green

This is my first.

Briscoe

That's too many.

Green

[finding a receipt on a murder victim's person] Mr. Hoss paid for a meal at Cafe Rouge, 8:16, tonight.

Briscoe

Dinner for two?

Green

Looks like it.

Briscoe

Hope he enjoyed it.

Green

[about the victim] Man's keeping secrets.

Briscoe

Yeah, he's also dropping money on dinners like I do on a new car.

Green

[of the victim] Last time anybody saw him, he was leaving his apartment at around 10:30.

We saw two male blacks hanging out about then. We circled a few times, let him know we were on him.

Green

What do you mean, hanging out?

You know, standing around.

Briscoe

What did they look like?

Average height. Late teens, early 20s. Dark clothes.

Briscoe

That the best you can do?

Yeah. We don't make detailed notes on every Tom, Dick and Harry. They weren't bothering anybody.

Green

Then why did you notice them at all?

Because we get paid to.

Green

The husbands called. They want to get this all settled out with their shrinks.

Lt. Van Buren

Oh, good. One for each of you.

Green

[about Malone's spending habits] Four grand in one week telling a stripper how to take her clothes off.

Carmichael

You guys are such suckers!

Green

[about Alston] As far as we can see, she's a retired porn star living off her investments.

Briscoe

God bless America.