Lennie Briscoe quotes from Law & Order

Briscoe

[Takes the phone] He'll call you back in 25 years.

Briscoe

Look, he thinks I'm corrupt, so he trusts me, all right?

Briscoe

First-year guys. Like puppies. You gotta show them the stick before you throw it.

Briscoe

[about Dawn] A girl so stoned she thinks the day is 240 hours long.

Briscoe

Dead people. They're full of surprises.

Briscoe

[to Logan] You know, if I didn't already know you didn't have kids, I'd know you don't have kids.

Briscoe

My second wife always wanted a walk-in closet. Now I have one. Trouble is, I live in it.

Briscoe

[about his new partner, Rey Curtis] I've got ties older than him. Some shoes too, I think.

Briscoe

You know, Rey, if you ever get laid off, you could have a hell of a career as an egg timer.

Briscoe

Give me another club soda. And put it in a dirty glass.

Briscoe

[to Dr. Levine] This isn't the planet of the Barbie dolls, Doc. Your average citizen knows these ladies have pumped-up ta-tas! What we have is a decapitated body and a killer walkin' around.

Briscoe

Your car came back from Russia, Bernie, with love.

Briscoe

Good old Ray-Ray. The trick was giving him a number he couldn't forget. Three. Rhymes with "squeegee".

Briscoe

I thought my sex life was complicated when I had to wear a condom.

Briscoe

Surf Nazis on ecstasy. Bet they're gonna put that in the local drive-in.