Dale Gribble quotes from King of the Hill

Dale Gribble

Hank, you were right! The Cubans have my mower!

Dale Gribble

They wanted to see me wet my pants from fear... but they're too late!

Dale

(After a trampoline falls on his foot) Aah! This is a sign that we have been playing God with Buckley's trampoline and now God is playing God with us, and He's a whole lot better at it. I refuse to touch this portal to hell!

Dale

Run, Hank! Portal to Hell!

Dale

I am the hoe master! hear me hoe! [nearly runs over Hank and Bill and damages Bill's wall]

Dale

[while standing on a tree branch] This...isn't...over. So long, suckers! [caws like a bird]

Dale

[while laying face down in the dirt] Hank, I can see your house from up here.

Dale Gribble

My gerbil screwed me!

Dale Gribble

C'mon, I'm not leaving without my kiss. I can wait.... I can destroy you.

Dale Gribble

Hey you, crazy guy. I'll give you a smoke if you trade clothes with me.

Dale Gribble

Infiltration of mental hospital complete. Proceed to phase two; exfiltration of mental hospital.

Dale Gribble

Apparently this door has some kind of anti-opening device.

Dale

Wait a minute. I have a wife; We're a couple! [starts doing a marital dance while singing] I get a free meal! I get a free meal! [to Hank] He, Ha.

Dale Gribble

Wait a minute. Every time I leave, you call John Redcorn. I know what's going on here. Your headaches are a desperate bid for my attention. But what do I do? I pawn you off on some Indian healer so I can have my Dale time at the gun club, or breeding show turtles, or on the Internet investigating unexplained phenomenonon. God, I am so selfish!

Dale

[while forming a line while skating with Nancy] Love train! Woo, woo!

Dale

"That makes a whole lot of sense... A whole lot of nonsense!"

Dale

(Into a tape recorder) 11:16: Octavio speaks into tape recorder, thus leaving crucial evidence, stupid idiot! Octavio must be gotten rid of!

Dale

(monotone) Dear Octavio, this is the hardest letter I've ever had to write...