Dale Gribble quotes from King of the Hill

Dale

"Turbines!" (NOTE: He is in a air vent filled with roaches, he promptly rotates and kills several)

Dale

We all came to see the opening of another doghouse.

Dale Gribble

[after Nancy rejects him that Bill poured the lemon in her makeup] My horrifying grotesque wife is leaving me all because of my smoking!

Dale Gribble

[very sad] She won't talk to me. What am I gonna do? [cries]

Dale

(When Dale's Porta Potti collapses while Hanks's in it) "He's a squatter!"

Dale Gribble

If you want to elect me, Dale Gribble, president of the Gun Club, running on the Save-Your-Sorry-Ass platform, say "aye."

Dale Gribble

(holding a plate of macaroons, small macaroons on one side, large macaroons on the other side) Macaroon? I've got entrance wound size, and exit wound size. (The small macaroons are called "entrance wound size", and the large macaroons are called "exit wound size".)

Dale Gribble

Pocket sand! Sh-sh-sha! (tosses sand in the eyes of his attacker)

Dale Gribble

[seeing the house explodes, leaving Bill behind] Wait a minute. Did we untie Bill?

Dale

Gentlemen, the crap has literally been scared out of me.

Dale Gribble

You're like E.T., except E.T. was a purebred alien with a heart of gold. You're only half-alien and at times can be a tad self-absorbed.

Dale Gribble

Prepare to be beaten by the deadliest form of martial arts. Monkey style! Ooh, ooh, ahh, ahh!

Dale Gribble

Get away from my wife or next time I'll aim for the mannequin and hit you.

Dale Gribble

Attention homosexuals and so called "bi"-sexuals.

Dale Gribble

[to the crowd] Listen up, homosexuals and so-called bisexuals; you are being-- [a lasso ties him up]