Snooki quotes from Jersey Shore

I'm going to Jersey Shore, bitch!

I had a feeling where I wanted to make out with somebody, so, umm, I just made out with Ryder, because all the guys like that.

Mike can be a nice guy, like, he shows his good side then he shows his jerk off side. That's what I like: a good guy and a jerk off, it's all in the same.

I hate guys. I'm turning lesbian, I swear.

You look at me you think I'm like a stuck-up bitch, but yet, like, veterinarian, like that's my soul, like I fuckin' like, save animals, like that's what I do.

My boobs are so tight I can't breathe, is that normal?

I'm not trashy, unless I drink too much.

I don't go tanning anymore because Obama put a 10% tax on tanning. I feel like he did that intentionally for us, like McCain would never put a 10% tax on tanning... because he is pale and he would probably wanna be tanned.

I feel like a pilgrim from the frickin 20's!!!

[after knocking the marinating chicken onto the floor] My first thought was, I don't wanna clean this up. My second thought was, I just fucked up dinner. My third thought was, what the fuck am I gonna eat?

[behind the counter] I can't see any ice creams, I can't see any customers, 'cause I'm a fuckin' Smurf.

Do you know what gay guys do? They're not attracted to vagina, they're attracted to asshole.

Jen, you're fuckin' retarded for agreeing with Angelina, and Angelina, shut the fuck up, cuz who are you?

Angelina got it in with Vinny 'cause she's a loosey-goose, and then she had sex with Jose the next day...WHORE...just sayin'.

What I would love to find is a guido, juicehead with my style who's not a cheater 'cause I'm not gonna go on Match.com again.