Ronnie quotes from Jersey Shore

You just take your shirt off and they come to you, it's like a fly comes to shit.

The Ron-Ron Juice is the shit that gets the night going, I mean whenever that shit comes out it's always a filthy night.

Mike would bang a Gatorade bottle if it had a pulse at this point. Seriously, he would.

[what he would do if he was J-Woww's boyfriend] I would give her dick in bubblegum. I would send her a picture of my dick in a pack of bubblegum and say "chew on this."

J-Woww's pussy must be rainbows and pots of treasure.

I regret that I got caught. I don't regret that I hit the kid, because he had it coming.

Right away I know it's either Snooki or Jenni, but then I read the letter and I see the word "wisely," and I know Snooki doesn't use that kinda vocabulary.

Standing in one corner, 4 foot 9, 2 inches with the poof, 'Snooki' Polizzi... standing in the other corner at 322 lbs, the Staten Island Dump!

Snooki walks in the door with this Gremlin look-a-like and she says she's the new roommate.

I need a mind condom because I'm being mind fucked.