Snooki quotes from Jersey Shore

Even though we're tiny bitches, I don't give a sh-t...I will fuckin' attack you like a squirrel monkey.

I have Vinny in the house now, maybe I don't need the vibrator. We'll see...

Honestly, like who hides in a bush? Only me. I will pee in a bush, I will poop in a bush, and I will hide in a bush. I do fucked up shit, I don't even know what's wrong with me.

This is the first night that we're going out to a club. Fuckin' Ron and Sam aren't coming out, SHOCKER...shocker. So what are they gonna do? They're gonna look at each other's eyes and say "I love you, baby," all night? We're in fuckin' Seaside, bitch! Let's go to fuckin' Karma.

Old people, they lose their sex life and that's not a fun time. That's why people always get divorced.

[at work] If I wanna have a beer, I'm allowed to have a beer. This isn't like Law School, this is a T-Shirt Shop.

Every time I get really excited like if we go to a club, I have to poop. If we go to a party, I have to poop, if I go on a date, like this, with a hot guy, I have to poop.

Even though I just met him, Nick seems like the perfect juicehead gorilla for me. And I kinda wanna have sex with him already!

These are the things I think I'm addicted to: bronzer, boys, and alcohol.

Yeah, any pinot's ok...pregnant people do it.

It's kinda like a disease to Snook-for-Love, it's worse than a staph infection. It just keeps eating at you and eating at you.

Every time I meet a nice guy, he dies. It's the same with every pet, friend or relative I've ever had. EVERYONE DIES! Next it's gonna be me. Its all just a big conspiracy!

Can I have a roll please?

Don't worry, you got a couple.

How many meatballs do you want?

I want two...in my face.

It hurts my vagina.

OK, come down.

No no, I like it!