Mama Tohru quotes from Jackie Chan Adventures

[answers the door excited] Mommy! [hugs and kisses the occupant at the door, only to realize it's actually Captain Black] Captain Black?! I am sorry. [puts him down]

Captain Black

That's alright, Tohru. I'm often mistaken for elderly Japanese women.

What would Daolon Wong want with Santa?

Jackie

Uh, revenge for years of coal?

Jackie

While Uncle and I search for the horse, you two will wait here and stay out of trouble.

Jade

Aw...

Young Valmont

Now see here, just because I look like a child doesn't mean you can treat me like one!

Jackie

I am treating you like a criminal. Tohru will treat you like a child.

Now... [pops knuckles] Are you going to be a good little boy?

[holding a very large boulder] Hak Foo! This is where you go poof.

Dark Hak Foo

I do not poof.

Jade, please keep the birds off your uncle.

Jade

Aw...

Valmont

Rise and shine, Tohru.

[waking up] Where am I? Who am I?

Valmont

You are Tohru, my most loyal henchman.

Valmont

I am Valmont. Don't you remember me?

I remember nothing.

Valmont

[to himself] Jolly good potion. [to Tohru] It would seem you are the victim of amnesia. Allow me to fill in some blanks. I am the leader of the Dark Hand, a premiere crime syndicate, and you work for me.

[looking around at Valmont's rundown apartment] "Premiere crime syndicate"?

Valmont

Um, a temporary setback, I assure you. But it was only yesterday that you and I were at the top of our game! [shows him a photo album of him during his Dark Hand days] See? You made the FBI's Most Wanted, three years running.

Oh, so it is true... But how?

Valmont

Our nemesis must have throttled you famously for your entire memory to just up and vanish.

Nemesis?

Valmont

[flips a page] Jackie Chan.

Chan will pay!

Valmont

Many thanks for your help, Chan. A shame Tohru must render you senseless so we may get on with our crime unhindered. Tohru, if you please?

No.

Valmont

What do you mean, no?!

You were not so loyal to your loyal henchman.

Valmont

Well, I- I was simply hoping to duck away and find a large mallet with which to assist.

Something inside tells me that Jackie is my friend.

Valmont

And something inside tells me that you are forgetting who is boss!

Dark Hak Foo

[fighting Tohru] Hurricane kick! Earthquake fist! Asteroid belt! [kicks Tohru near the lava pool and lunges at him] Meteor pummels mountain!

Hot bath.

Jade

[to Jackie and Tohru] So you think Uncle's old friend calls him "Uncle" too?

[to Uncle] Chuckles, is that you?

[to each other] Huh?? Chuckles??

Beetlebrow!

So, you remember your nickname

Ha ha ha! Who can forget those fuzzy caterpillars living over your eyes?

And your never-ending pranks and gift of laughter.

Jade

[turning to Jackie} Is he talking

So, you have come to

And to introduce my family to you. My nephew Jackie...

Ah, yes. Butterfingers.

Jackie

Uh, hello. I have heard so much about you. I am sorry I have to run. I am mounting an exhibit at the pacific Asia museum. Uh... Bye-bye. [he rushes off]

Please excuse his manners. And this is my apprentice Tohru.

[playing handheld video game which pings] Hehe. [clears thoat] This alarm tells me I must tend to the shop now. A pleasure meeting you. [waves goodbye before rushing off]

And last, but not least, my great-niece Jade.

Duplicates are imperfect. They contain flaws, like Chang's extra hand, but each is more powerful than its human counterpart due to its magic.

Jade

Aw, we can take them Unc. We'll face off in the epic battle royale! Human vs clone, good vs evil, Jade vs Jade!

You missed Uncle's point! Magic must defeat magic!

Viper

Look who decided to show.

Sorry I am late.

Now, one more thing. We must be very watchful for these defective duplicates.

Jackie

Uncle, we must watch out for-

It is Jackie's Clone!

Jackie

What?! [sees his clone] No! Wait! [is tackled by the J-Team] I am me! He is not me!

Tricky clone, isn't he?

El Toro

Which is the real Jackie Chan?

Captain Black

I have a little quiz only the real Jackie could answer. Jackie, when is my birthday?

Oh... uh...

Captain Black

[bummed out] Jackie, I thought we were pretty good friends...

Jade

Ahem. Hey Jackie, will you take me to Moose World this weekend?

Of course!

Jackie

-not! You have homework!

Jade

[points to the clone] There's your clone.

Sorry, I'll be back to destroy you later, thank you!

Feh. Floating head cannot be oni!

It can't?

Of course not! Everyone who has control the ShadowKhan has been Chinese! Shendu, Chinese! Daolon Wong, Chinese but oni are Japanese. [Uncle hears the beeping sound coming from Jackie's laptop]

Jackie

Radar indicates Dark Hand jet has landed in Hong Kong.

See? Hong Kong, Chinese.

Uh, I read Japanese, but it has been many years in fact I am probably too shakey so forget that I...

Tohru, read country now!

Yes, sensei.

It goes on to say that Tarakudo once terrorized the land of the trusted oni generals. Each demon general control its own army which was composed of different tribe of ShadowKhan. [Jackie slaps his forehead]

Jade

Uh... Different how?

Jackie

I will prefer not to find out.

Tarakudo's reign came to an end when the spirits of his generals were trapped within masks. 9 generals,9 masks.

Jade

9 different types of ShadowKhan.

Jackie

Let me guess. The masks were scattered across the Earth?

Yep. Uh.... One more thing. Should the 9 masks ever be rejoined their combined power summon enough ShadowKhan to engulf the entire Earth eternal darkness.

Aiya! Tohru, you must do research!

He must?

You were told by childhood tales of oni by mother. You read Japanese, you are Japanese so you must do research!