Uncle quotes from Jackie Chan Adventures

I will always wish the opera had kept you, my friend.

That is my cue to say goodbye. [Uncle starts to leave, then stops and turns around] One more thing, I hope it will not be another 60 years before we meet again, Beetlebrow.

As do I, Chuckles.

Chang has two hands, because that is not really Chang. It is his magical duplicate!

Captain Black

You mean, we're dealing with clones?!

Aiya! Who said anything about clowns?! We are facing forces more powerful than the circus!

Duplicates are imperfect. They contain flaws, like Chang's extra hand, but each is more powerful than its human counterpart due to its magic.

Jade

Aw, we can take them Unc. We'll face off in the epic battle royale! Human vs clone, good vs evil, Jade vs Jade!

You missed Uncle's point! Magic must defeat magic!

Viper

Look who decided to show.

Sorry I am late.

Now, one more thing. We must be very watchful for these defective duplicates.

Jackie

Uncle, we must watch out for-

It is Jackie's Clone!

Jackie

What?! [sees his clone] No! Wait! [is tackled by the J-Team] I am me! He is not me!

Tricky clone, isn't he?

El Toro

Which is the real Jackie Chan?

Captain Black

I have a little quiz only the real Jackie could answer. Jackie, when is my birthday?

Oh... uh...

Captain Black

[bummed out] Jackie, I thought we were pretty good friends...

Jade

Ahem. Hey Jackie, will you take me to Moose World this weekend?

Of course!

Jackie

-not! You have homework!

Jade

[points to the clone] There's your clone.

Sorry, I'll be back to destroy you later, thank you!

Jade

[when Paco's clone is revealed] Paco has a clone and I don't?! Way unfair!

We are in great danger!

El Toro

Paco, please! Say it is not so!

But it is! And now, I will destroy you all. MWAHAHAHA!

Feh. Floating head cannot be oni!

It can't?

Of course not! Everyone who has control the ShadowKhan has been Chinese! Shendu, Chinese! Daolon Wong, Chinese but oni are Japanese. [Uncle hears the beeping sound coming from Jackie's laptop]

Jackie

Radar indicates Dark Hand jet has landed in Hong Kong.

See? Hong Kong, Chinese.

Uh, I read Japanese, but it has been many years in fact I am probably too shakey so forget that I...

Tohru, read country now!

Yes, sensei.

Jackie

Let me guess. The masks were scattered across the Earth?

Yep. Uh.... One more thing. Should the 9 masks ever be rejoined their combined power summon enough ShadowKhan to engulf the entire Earth eternal darkness.

Aiya! Tohru, you must do research!

He must?

You were told by childhood tales of oni by mother. You read Japanese, you are Japanese so you must do research!

Being away from my shop for so long makes me... nervous?

Jackie

Uncle?

[Sighs] I'm only getting in your way. Tohru has knowledge of Japanese which Uncle does not, Tohru gets willies from oni which Uncle does not, Tohru knows tricks with vegetables which Uncle does...

One more thing...

No more things!

[Gasps] You disrespect Uncle?! Uncle took you in, put roof over your head, put food in your belly lots of food! And this is how you repay me?!

I cook, I clean, I travel the world to be smothered by fish! And you thank me by demanding "Many more things!"

I will never speak to you again!

Jackie

Uncle, please.

No, Uncle has it coming. [hits himself] Uncle had opportunity to warn Tohru, but did he? No! All because of silly argument. Now my apprentice is in danger of becoming demon. [hits himself] One more thing, Tohru was right. Uncle says "one more thing" too often.

Uncle sends you to find Oni mask and you return with gibberish?

Jade

Hello! It's not gibberish; it's a site on the Web.

Ooh, the mask has been taken by giant spider?

[Gasps] The dark chi master himself.

Jade

Tch. The sly niece meister herself. [Shows the Deja Vu stone]

The Deja Vu Stone.

Jackie

Jade.

Jade

Come on, Jackie. I helped saved the day 72 times. The world's half a dozen times and your butt more times than I care to count.

Jackie

And you made a mess of things more times than I care to count.

Jade

But I always clean up after myself. Just admit it, Jackie. You need me. Hey!

Daolon Wong?!

Daolon Wong

Many thanks for the memories. [Jackie kicks the Deja Vu Stone and he and Daolon Wong are gone]

Jade

Jackie? Jackie?

Turning into statue is better.

Jade

[Chuckles nervously] Depends who you ask.

Jackie

Jade?

Jade

I couldn't help it, I was possessed!

Did Uncle ask you tattooed demon face onto your leg, no? You do not see Uncle walking around being evil, do you?

Jade

Uh, Unc? [Uncle sees himself as a Chi Vampire]

Uncle could not help it. Was victim of chi vampire.

Jade

Oh, yeah. And I have the piece in your mind.

Jackie

Take me back to the beginning!

Daolon Wong

Hmph. So here we are, back in the old fool's trash heap.

That is old fool's rare trash heap to you!

Jade

Wait a sec. [Looks at her bags] Jackie went to the wrong beginning, the first time we met!

Jackie

Wait, this can't be right, where are Uncle and...

Daolon Wong

Give me that! [Jackie drops the deja vu stone and stares at Jade]

Jackie

Jade...

Jade

Jackie is right, I do get in his way.

You're Jackie Chan, the archaeologist?

Jackie

I bet you were looking for the shield I brought back from Bavaria.

We're looking for the... How'd you know?

Jackie

[Points at Daolon Wong] He has it!

Daolon Wong

Chan is lying! Do you not recognized your master?!

The only master we have is big V!

And he's gonna wanna hear all about where you stashed the shield!

Jade

Way to rewrite history, Jackie!

Did they buy anything?

Jackie

No.

You are terrible salesman! [Jackie looks at Jade and picks up the phone]

Who are you calling?

Jackie

Jade's parents. She must return to Hong Kong.

But she just arrived.

Jade

What?! No way! Who's gonna help save the day?! The world?! Jackie's butt?!

Jackie

Uncle, you must trust me. It will be better for Jade,for us if she does not stay.

Jade

No, Jackie. Hang up the phone, you need me!