Jade Clones quotes from Jackie Chan Adventures

Captain Black

I know you're eager to get on with your life, my friend, but you know more about these Talismans than anyone.

Jackie

Uh but-

Captain Black

I need you, Jackie. One last time.

Jackie

...One last time.

Jade

Just when you think you're out, they pull you back in. So can I-

No! [they leave]

Jade

Didn't even let me ask! ...And if I didn't ask, how am I supposed to know what they said "no" to?

Jade

Need a lift? [picks Jackie up in the Jet Pack]

Jackie

I told you never play with things you don't know how to-

Jade

[pointing out the controls] Ignition, steering, throttle, brakes.

Jackie

[sigh] Faster.

Captain Black

Unc, that was some magic!

[scoffs] Simple Chi spell. Many others in my book.

Jade

So the big bad dragon is back? And he's packing the Talismans?

Talismans are not important! Shendu is a spirit now. Not even the Talismans can change that.

Captain Black

So you figure he's onto something bigger, mi compadre?

The book Shendu stole from my library is the key to understanding his motives.

But which volume did he steal?

How do I know?! We must take inventory!

Captain Black

[holding a book] So all these books have spells? [Uncle cuffs him] Ow!

Do not touch!

Captain Black

Aw...

Jackie

Jade, explain.

Jade

It's your team, duh. The J-Team. The Chan Clan. The Chantastic five!

Jackie

Chantastic?

Jade

Five, see? You and me make two! And then there's Viper! And El Toro makes four!

And I, Paco am the fifth member of the J-Team!

Jade

I actually had someone less...puny in mind. [looks to Tohru]

Hmm? ...I am honored.

Jackie

I am sorry you all came here for nothing, but I didn't realize my niece read so many comic books.

Jackie

Uncle, please. Slow down.

Jade

You so need to chill!

If I chill, Demons will be dancing upon all our graves! I must research the proper Chi Spells to seal the seven portals! All required ingredients must be on hand and ready!

Jackie

Uncle, at least let me help! [Uncle grabs him by the ear]

What do you know about magic?! I was apprentice to Chi Master Fong for fifteen years! [sighs] Perhaps it is time for me to train an apprentice of my own. Someone of sound Judgement, whom I can trust with my Chi knowledge.

Jade

Me, me, me! I'll put some focus in your hocus!

Tohru!

Huh?!

Jade

[following Jackie] I've got your back, Jack.

Tokyo's mondo-coolio, don'tcha think?

Jade

[gasp] What are you doing here?!

Tch, like I was gonna miss this!

Jade

But, my homework! We promised Jackie!

No, you promised Jackie!

[seeing the army of Jade clones] Mmmm...finger food!

Jade Clones

You mean, knuckle sandwhich!

Jackie

Uncle! The Pan'ku box!

I think there is a bigger problem to solve.

[sighs] I must do research...

Uh, no need, sensei. I believe no finishing charm was applied to the original duplication spell. That is why it continues to repeat.

Huh?

Uh, I did some reading during the long flight.

Tohru will be a good apprentice.

Jackie

Did you bring the finishing charm?

[nods] But it will only work on the original Jade.

Jackie

Jade!

Jackie

[groans] Okay! Whoever cast the spell in the first place is grounded with no TV for a year!

Jade Clones

[gasp] She did it! [all point to one Jade]

Jade

Tch...tattle-tales.

Captain Black

Valmont and his pals have been spotted downtown. You in, Jackie?

Jade

We're there!

Jackie

Is your name Jackie? [Jade frowns] Captain Black, I thought all Dark Hand matters had been reassigned to Section 12!

Captain Black

That may be so, but I'm not going to sit pretty while the Dark Hand strolls into my backyard and hands a hall pass to a hobgoblin!

Jade

Who was that, Uncle?

Ah, crank call.

Jade

Prince Albert in a can?

Nah, crazy talk about demons and prisons. [Jade and Uncle suddenly realize] Aiya!

Jackie

Hollywood? I'm on my way, Captain Black.

Jade

[surprises Jackie] Jackie, can I come with? Please???

Jackie

Jade, the Dark Hand is there, no doubt searching for a demon portal.

Jade

But Jackie, Raphaelo DiCapizio is getting his footprints in cement at the Chinese Theater this weekend!

Jackie

Who-phealo DeCa-who-zio?

Jade

Tch. Hello? Raphaelo DiCapizio is only the greatest movie star in the history of... history!

Ah, I guess you have never heard of John Wayne!

Aah, the Duke. "Saddle up, Pilgrim!"

I am so sorry I screamed, Jade.

Jade

Yeah, uh, Frankenstein did look pretty life-like, T. Must be all that wax.

Uh, maybe we should bring back a souvenir for Uncle. [approaches the gift shop desk] Do you have any photos of John Wayne? [the girl looking at Tohru behind the desk, obviously intimidated by his size, holds up photos]

Cut! Who are you?!

Jackie

This is a movie set?

Jade

Awesome! Are you gonna put Jackie in your movie?

Oh sure! AFTER I HAVE HIM ARRESTED!

Nigel, Nigel! Calm down! [shaking Jade's hand] Larry Franklin, producer of "Ninjas in the Hood"! [to Jackie] That was quite a display te way you [impersonating Jackie's fighting] Bam! And Bam, Bam, BAM! You have an agent?

Jackie

Uhhh...

Jade

That would be moi.

Bam bam! This town's getting younger everyday!

Jade

Look, Lar! Jackie Chan here is going to be the next big action superstar, and you have the opportunity to get in on the ground floor!

Jackie

Jaaade...

Jade

Right, Jackie. Did I mention that he does all his own stunts?

Jackie

[his cell phone rings] Hello? Jade! Where are you?

Jade

Duh...Chinese Theater? But so is the Thunder Demon, and he's packing serious voltage!

Jackie

How do you do that-? Never mind! Jade, do nothing until I get there! [hangs up]

Jade never does nothing!

Jackie

I know, but I feel I have to say it.

Who's the old guy? [referring to Uncle]

Jade

Cranky co-star, occasional comedy relief.