Jackie quotes from Jackie Chan Adventures

He seeketh to learn the mysteries of our fortress!

He has spied, the secret library!

Jackie

Umm, library? What library? [runs again into another room]

He hath discovered the hidden armory!

Jackie

I'm just looking for an exit! [runs down a hall into another room]

Ehh! He hath entered the private water closet!

He is privy to our privy!

Jackie

Captain Black?

Captain Black

Jackie! How's England?

Jackie

Dangerous. I fell into a hidden fortress, and men in robes attacked me with magic spe-

Captain Black

NO NO! The M-word Jackie! My superiors already think I'm cracking up! And they're istening-le to my ohne calls-phe!

[pointing to Jackie's cell phone] You have knaved to others of the Magisters!

Jackie

Magisters?

He knoweth our name!

Jackie

He just said it!

Thou has faxed our insignia!

Jackie

It didn't go through!

Jade

[handcuffed to Jackie; to Magister Constable] Give us the key!

Jackie

Jade... Please give us the key!

Methinks yon varlet wisheth to challenge us in armed combat.

Jackie

No! I don't wisheth that at alleth!

Yon twain knoweth nothing of our magicks!

Jackie

That is what I have been trying to tell you!

Jackie

We have to get help before they find us again.

Jade

Tch. From who?! We're fresh out of proper authorities! Anybody here could be another Magister, Captain Black has magic issues, the only one who will help us is Uncle, and he can't even use a fax machine!

Jackie

You're right, we are on our own, so we had better find out exactly what they don't want us to know.

Jackie

[noticing a giant shoe] SHOE!

Hak Foo

No one "shoo's" me! [is kicked my the giant shoe]

Jackie

[while fighting in Tohru's ear] Tohru, you must stop Uncle. I am inside your head!

Sensei, Jackie says he is inside my head.

[Uncle gasps] There is no room to grow inside there.

Jade

Tohru's head is going to go Scanner?

Jackie

Stop! Do not take that which does not belong to you, uh, mortal!

Hak Foo

Shiva speaks?

Hak Foo

With a familiar voice.

Jackie

Shiva runs too!

Hak Foo

Rampaging rhino runs!

Jackie

No rhino! No ramming!

Jade

But Jackie, I can't take first prize at the talent show if I don't have a talent!

Jackie

Jade, you have a fine talent. For getting into trouble.

Jade

Har. Har.

You bought this from my competition?!

Jade

[playing with the Monkey King puppet, and the eyebrow breaks off] Hey, it broke!

Because it is junk! Kai Ching steals my business by selling cheap trinkets!

Jackie

But Kai Ching said it was one of a kind. [Uncle cuffs him twice] Ow! Ow!

And that is TWO of a kind to teach you that bringing my competitors goods into my shop invites bad Chi! One more thing. Do you see any Monkey Kings in here? No? That is because the Monkey King is known for his love of mischief! [looks at the puppet] And he is creepy looking!

Jackie

Uncle, please. It is only a puppet, and Jade's talent show is tomorrow.

You will be sorry.

Jade

The Rat Talisman brings motion to the motionless. [places the Rat Talisman on the Jackie Puppet] This oughta get Jackie back on his feet.

Jade

Well, it's a start.

What? What is it?

[rushes forward] Nothing! Do not look in mirror!

[sees reflection] Bwah!

I told you not to look in mirror! He never listens.