Jackie quotes from Jackie Chan Adventures

Jackie! [leaps on him]

Jackie

Hello.

[gasp; takes Greenbeard's Gloves] Are these from Greenbeard's ship? Can I keep 'em, please? I've been reading all about Greenbeard!

Jackie

You've been reading? For pleasure?

Tch. Not like there's anything else to do around here! [picks up nearby book] "The meanest pirate of them all! Greenbeard swore he would keep stealing forever, even after he died. Argh!" How cool was he?

Jackie

There is nothing "cool" about stealing, Jade.

Aw...

TTohru

Crime does not pay. If Captain Black had not pulled strings after I left the Dark Hand, I would be in prison right now.

Instead, he lives under the supervision of his parole officer! [reveals Mahjong hand] So Tohru is free to lose as many games of Mahjong as he likes!

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Jackie

So, do you think- could you please pull a few more strings?

I want to Jackie, but my hands are tied this time.

Jackie

I really thought Tohru had left his past behind.

So did I, but the sad truth is some people never change.

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[Finn is dreaming of the Dark Hand performing with a rock band in front of an audience; mid-way through their song, Jackie leaps from a helicopter and grabs Finn by his collar]

But... we're not even doing anything wrong!

Jackie

You are off-key. [punches Finn]

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CCustomer

[inspecting a vase] Is this late Yuan Dynasty or early Ming?

TTohru

Uh... It is from China. [Customer leaves the shop]

[scoffs] You are a terrible salesman! You must know the merchandise.

Uncle's right, Tohru. For example, this lovely lamp is from the junk dyansty.

Jackie

You are not helping, Jade.

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[in sales training, holding a painted duck]

TTohru

Uh... Note the hand painted details and um... [clears throat] Duck shape?

Jackie

How nice. I will take two.

Aiya! Tohru, you must mention its age. And Jackie, I did not believe your performance for a second.

Oh Uncle! Somebody made a sale.

Jackie

Jade!

But wait! I also made an acquisition. [holds the Emerald of Killarney]

AIYA!

[This last exclamation echoes repeatedly into the world]

Infamous Emerald of Killarney. Feared throughout the world.

Feared?

That stone carries an Irish curse bringing endless bad luck to whomever possesses it. Jade, you are cursed!

Really? I don't feel cur- [wind suddenly blows money from her hand into a candle flame] I'M CURSED!

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I got you into this, at least let me help get you out! Besides, you can't go to Ireland by yourself. You're cursed.

Jackie

I can handle a little bad luck Jade.

Not without Uncle's lucky charms. [gives him a Garlic necklace] Garlic, good for digestion, and for luck. One more thing. [hands him a live rabbit] Rabbit's feet. They work better when they are still on the rabbit. [gives him a handful of radishes] And keep these with you at all times, or else...

Jackie

Or else what?

The rabbit will get hungry!

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Jackie

Jade?

Uncle may go for garlic and rabbits, but we both know I'm your real good luck charm.

Jackie

Jade, you are going back right- [suddenly pinched] Ow!

MMan

Top of the morning to ya.

Jackie

You're going back- [pinched again] Ow! You're- [pinched again] Ow! Why does everyone keep doing that?!

'Cause this is Ireland, you're not wearing green, and it's kinda St. Patrick's Day.

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Jackie

[cellphone rings] Hello?

Jackie, I have been doing more research. Tohru is performing an Irish Good Luck spell for you. Is it working?

Jackie

Don't- [pinched] Ow! -think so.

You call that an Irish Jig, Tohru? That spell says you must River Dance! [to Jackie] One more thing. To avoid bad luck, always wear a belt, beware of men named Seamus, and never stand with your back to an open door.

Jackie

Are you making these up?

Do you want Uncle's help or not?!

Jackie

[backs away from an open door] Bah! Open door! [backs into Finn, Ratso, and Chow] Ah! The Dark Hand?!

Not anymore. We are Finn and the Revolution!

RRatso

I thought we were the Finn Experience.

Eh, I'm still playing around with names.

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Face it, Chan. You're no match for Finn Halen! Now give me the emerald!

Jackie

... willingly. [gives the emerald, and the curse to Finn]

So, how does it feel to be a loser, Chan?

Jackie

Actually, I feel lucky.

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I'm very sorry about this.

You should be sorry! We are not used to travelling with outsiders! You are ruining our Feng Shui!

Uh, I meant about the Talismans. I just couldn't get the rocks to work their magic!

[grabbing the Rooster Talisman from Black's backpack] You gotta have the right touch.

Jackie

[grabs the Talisman and puts it back] Jade...

Not even for demonstration purposes?

Jackie

No.

[snaps her finger, unknowingly activating the Monkey Talisman power] Rats. [transforms a nearby boulder into a statue of rats]

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BSBen-Shui Monk

Do not be concerned, friends. The power of the Talismans, lies within.

Jackie

You got them back?

Black

Jackie, Jackie... the Holy man speaks in the mystical sense, as in, May the force be with you, or We are the world. Right?

MMonk

Oh, no no. The power of the Talismans, truly lies within.

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[easily lifting up two monks in chairs] Jackie, check it out! I'm super strong! [runs around fast] Super fast, [turns invisible] super gone, [transformers into a monkey] super chimp, [reverts to herself] super Talisman powered! [grabs a green cloth and wears it like a cape] I'm T-Girl!

Jackie

[shocked] How?!

Not sure. But I think each finger controls a different power. Which would leave two unaccounted for.

Jackie

Not what I meant!

Oh, not sure how it happened. Maybe... [realizes] When I got zapped in the vault! Duh. [smacks her forehead, unleashing the Pig Talisman's Heat Beam power, blowing a hole in the temple] Whoa! So that's how I do heat beam eyes! Maybe dragon blast is my belly button!

Jackie

No Jade, no dragon blast!

Power must be returned to their proper vessels with a restoration spell.

Aw...

But we must first retrieve the Talismans themselves.