Zim quotes from Invader Zim

Dib

And what about his horrible green head?!?

Zim

Insolent fool boy! It's a... skin condition.

Dib

And he's got no ears! Is that part of your "skin condition," Zim? No ears?!?

Zim

[looking sad] Yes.

Zim

Sorry, I'm late, my tallest. I couldn't find my invitation. You're lucky I made it at all.

You weren't invited at all.

Tallest Purple

Weren't you banished to FoodCourtia? Shouldn't you be... frying something?

Zim

Oh, I quit when I found out about this.

Tallest Purple

You quit being banished!?!?!?

The assigning is over, Zim.

Zim

But you can't have an invasion without me! I was in Operation Impending Doom 1! Don't you remember?

Tallest Purple

Oh yes. We remember…

Zim

[in giant robot destroying a city] AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!

But sir, we're still on our own planet!

Zim

Silence! Twist those knobs! Twist those knobs! You! Pull some levers! Pull some levers! [resumes his maniacal laughter as his rampage continues]

Zim

I put the fires out.

You made them worse!

Zim

Worse… or better?

Ms. Bitters

Don't forget that tonight is Parent Teacher Night. Everyone is required to bring their parents to the cafeteria.

Zim

I never agreed to attend this Parent Teacher Night!

Ms. Bitters

Yes, you did.

Zim

No! You lie! [makes wild scratching motions with his arms] YOU LIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Ms Bitters

[on video] Zim, are you going to bring your parents to Parent Teacher Night?

Zim

[on video, not paying attention] Yeah, sure, whatever.

Zim

Why would you tape that?

Dib

See you and your parents tonight, Zim.

Zim

Yes... Oh, I will bring my "parents", and they shall be the greatest, most parental parents EVER!

GIR

Do we have to go right now? I wanna watch The Scary Monkey Show.

Zim

[darkly] That monkey...

Zim

Where is our house?

GIR

Um... There... No, no, wait... It's over there...

Zim

How could you not know?! I just upgraded your guidance system!

GIR

Oh. I left that at home.

Zim

You left what at home?

GIR

The guidy chippy thingy.

Zim

You! Why would you do that?!?

GIR

To make room for the cupcake!

Zim

Be alert GIR. On this planet, we are surrounded by danger and MADNESS!

GIR

Ooh, I like madness!

Zim

By using these pieces of scrap metal, I shall fashion a compass, using this planet's own magnetic field against it. Now! Witness the power of my compass!

GIR

Awww, it likes me!

GIR

Are we gonna ride the sun home?

Zim

No, GIR, the earth sun sets in the west. Staring at it should give me our relative position. Now watch me amaze you. [Stares at the sun until his eyes burn and crust over] Wait a minute... I'M BLIND!!!! [runs around screaming, with GIR giggling and chasing him] They've booby-trapped their sun somehow!!

Zim

[walking up to his RoboParents with the Slunchy family; to Billy] So, what's going on?

[disgruntled with his mother] My mom won't shut up about me! It's really embarrassing.

At least she's not showing the pictures.

Ooh, and you just gotta see these pictures. [pulls a bunch of pictures from her wallet] Now here's Billy crying when he was kicked off the soccer team for crying too much. [giggles, making Billy cry]

Grass stains sure are tough to get out of those soccer uniforms.

RoboDad

Sports aren't everything. I'm sure your boy will find... something he's good at.

That's true. Hey! [turns around and holds out a plate of cookies Mrs. Slunchy made] Try one of these cookies! My wife made them!

RoboDad

Thanks, Ted! (Don't mind if I do.) [takes a cookie and eats it, but he then clutches his stomach in pain]

Oh, no. Honey, is it…

RoboDad

Yup! Diarrhea…!

I have just the thing for that! [splashes a cup of punch into RoboDad's face, and he wheels backwards into a wall; turns to Mrs. Slunchy] Who does your hair? [starts poking her in the face so hard, leaving marks]

Zim

Mom, I think we should go home now!

[stops poking Mrs. Slunchy and turns to him] Don't tell me what to do, young man. You go to your room! [picks Zim up and drops him in a bowl of punch, then wheels away]

Zim

I'm looking for a friend. Would you be-

I was born with webbed fish toes. Like some kind of...horrible fish boy. Wanna see?

Zim

Hello?

Hey ya buddy!

Zim

Keef? I told you, I do not require your-

I understand, Zim. I was just thinking that maybe we could-

Zim

Hang on, I've got another call. [pushes button on the phone] Hello?

Hey ya buddy! You're gonna love the circus!

Zim

What are you doing, GIR?

GIR

Nothing...

Zim

Nothing... or something?

GIR

Oh, I can't take it, you're too smart for me. Keef is planning a s'prise party for you after skool. He gonna bring all the kids because he loves you! [crying] That boy loves you so much! [stops crying] I'm makin' the cake!

Zim

He's bringing all the children to our secret lair? Do you realize what this means?

GIR

Yes! Wait a minute...no.

Zim

It means the mission is in jeopardy!

GIR

Aw man! [hums happily]

Zim

I'm not in your TV. I'm transmitting from...inside your body! Spooky, yes? At this very moment I'm inside a microscopic submersible somewhere in your disgusting belly attached to your arm control nerve!

Dib

Arm control nerve?

Zim

Yes. Arm control nerve.

Dib

In my...belly?

Zim

Yes.

Dib

Humans don't have arm control nerves!

Zim

Do not question me! I control your arms!!

Zim

Hahahahahaha..ARG! Idiotic human! I'll just go to your brain and delete the knowlege of where you hid the master disk! And, as an added bonus, I might as well make your entire brain...nn-not smart...no more.

Dib

AAAHHHAAOOH!