[to Freddie] You know eventually you're gonna have to tell your mom you and Sam are dating.
[scoffs] Oh really, you wanna see my mom burst into flames?
BMrs. Benson
[Off Screen knocking on the door] Freddie, are you in there? Come home! It's time for your tick bath!
[to Freddie] No worries, we'll take the 'vator. [to Spencer] Tell his batty mom you haven't seen him or me.
No, no, de nopedy nope, I am not gonna lie to your mother.
'Cause when you tell one lie it just leads to another lie, and another lie...and before you know it, you're a guy telling multiple lies.
[scoffs] Oh come on, when the girl with no teeth kept coming over here I lied for you.
BMrs. Benson
[OS annoyed knocking on the door louder] Fredward Benson!
SFSam and Freddie
[look to Spencer, pleadingly]
[Sam and Freddie run toward the elevator door. Sam pushes the second button]
BMrs. Benson
[OS annoyed knocking on the door] Fredward!
[to Sam and Freddie] You know, you guys could invite me to go to the movies with you. [as Sam and Freddie step in the elevator]
[to Carly as the elevator door is closing, hesitating] Uh, well if you wanted to--
[to Carly as the elevator door is closing, hesitating] Um.. well, okay, let's get the door.
SFSam and Freddie
[as the elevator door shuts] Bye, Carly!
Alright! You want the truth?
BMrs. Benson
Yes! Right Now!
[T-Bo walks over to kitchen countertop and takes a drink, stalling for time]:
Okay, nobody calls me Terrence! I am T-Bo! T - Bo! I'm not fancy! [In fancy voice] I don't talk like this. [In normal voice] I sling smoothies, I put food on sticks, and I like a lot of women!
BMrs. Benson
You lied to me.
So you'd rent me the room! Now this is the real me. You can either accept me as I am, or just tell me to get out.
[T-Bo stands with a shocked, disappointed face]:
Okay! This is outta control! We've been here for 15 hours, and we wanna leave!
[tries to open the door] OPEN THIS DOOR!!!!
NSNora's Father
We may never open the door!!
That's right! [Pauses] Because my birthday party shall go on. Forever....
DFDershlit family
And ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever....
[Suddenly, Mrs. Benson and T-Bo ram through the door on T-Bo's motercycle]
Chicken? [Maurice clucks]
BMrs. Benson
Freddie! [Freddie runs over and hugs her]
[banging on a metal pole with the shower head] Help! Heelpp! Ausie Stance! Anyone?! Please! A cute boy is gonna be here any minute and I'm all wrinkled like an elderly raisin!! Urgh, this day could not get worse.
BMrs Benson
[walks into Carly's bathroom] Urgh, it's you!
BMrs Benson
Will you stop banging and screaming? I heard you all the way from my apartment.
BMrs Benson
Oh, [gasps] You bathe in your sweatshirt too? I thought I was the only one.
I don't bathe in my sweatshirt, I got my toe stuck in the fauset.
I saw some dumb person do it on the 'Dick Van Dike' show. C'mon, could you please just help me get it out?
BMrs Benson
[under her breath] Alright. I'll give it a yank. [sits down on the bath tub] Ready?
Okay, just be really careful ok-
BMrs Benson
[yanking on Carly's foot] Argh!
BMrs Benson
Am I hurting you?
[Carly's date walks in]
LLance
Hey, everything alright?
LLance
Sorry, I heard screaming so I thought I should come up?
BMrs Benson
[holding pepper spray] Put your hands down!
[Lance lowers his hands]
BMrs Benson
Who's the boy?
LLance
[to Carly in a quite flirty voice] Hey.
[trying to act flirty in the bath tub] Heeyy.
(Carly, Freddie, and Spencer are hiding from Spencer's alarm robot)
We've got to get back to school!
Can't you turn your stupid alarm bot off?
I am trying to disarm it!
ABAlarm Bot
(Spencer pushes a button on his remote) Armed. (He pushes it again) Armed. (He pushes it again) Armed.
Gah, I can't turn it off! Maybe we can-
(the doorbell rings)
Wait! That was just the doorbell, right?
Or does that mean your stupid killing machine's about to explode?
It was just the doorbell.
BMrs. Benson
(from the other side of the door) Hello? What's happening in there?
It's my mom! If she opens the door, she's gonna get blasted!
(yelling) Mrs. Benson, don't open the door! I'm not wearing pants!
BMrs. Benson
Oh, my gosh!
ABAlarm Bot
Scanning pants...
If your mom opens the door then that crazy killing machine's gonna focus on her, and then Spencer can run over and unplug it!
No! I don't want my mom to get blasted in the face and torso with popcorn kernels!
She's so irritating! It'll just be for a second 'til I unplug it.
(sighs) Alright, fine! Do it!
(yelling) Okay, Mrs. Benson, I found my pants! C'mon in!
(Mrs. Benson opens the door and walks into the apartment)
BMrs. Benson
What is going on in here?
ABAlarm Bot
(focuses on Mrs. Benson) Tracking intruder.
BMrs. Benson
I do not appreciate all of the noise that's been coming from... AAH!
(the Alarm Bot starts shooting Mrs. Benson with popcorn kernels. She is backed up against her door in the hallway)
(Spencer runs over to the outlet where the Alarm Bot is plugged in to. He starts pulling at the plug, but it doesn't come out. Mrs. Benson shouts as the Alarm Bot continues to pelt her with popcorn kernels)
I AM TRYING! (Spencer pulls the outlit out of the wall, still not unplugging the Alarm Bot) Oh, my gosh!
(Spencer still struggles with unplugging the Alarm Bot. Mrs. Benson keeps shouting as the Alarm Bot countinues to pelt her)
BMrs. Benson
What's happening?! What am I being pelted with?!
(the Alarm Bot is beginning to run out of popcorn kernels. Spencer is still trying to unplug it)
(the Alarm Bot fires at Mrs. Benson a few more times before finally running out of popcorn kernels and stopping)
(finally pulls the plug out of the outlet) GOT IT! (raises his arms victoriously in the air) YEAH!
iCarly · 611 quotes
