Freddie Benson quotes from iCarly

Principal Franklin

I've been fired.

What?! Why?!

Sam

Dude, we gotta stop doing that...

Gibby

Hi, guys.

Carly

Hey, Gibby.

Freddie

How's it going?

Gibby

Bad. Mr. Howard just gave me detention.

Carly

For what?

Gibby

For being too "Gibby".

Carly

How can you be too "Gibby"?

Gibby

That's what I said! But, you know, not everybody gets me.

Mr. Howard

Oh, I get you, Gibby. I get you like a rash. The question is how do I get rid of you?

Gibby

Baby powder?

Mr. Howard

That's double detention.

Gibby

But baby powder gets rid of rashes!

Mr. Howard

Triple detention!

Gibby

VOLCANO!!! [vomits in a nearby trash can]

T-Bo

You wanna buy a donut?

Freddie

No, we're having a meeting.

Sam

Why'd you stick the donuts on that way?

T-Bo

What you saying?

Freddie

Well, they're donuts, they have a hole right in the middle.

Sam

But you put the stick through the sides.

T-Bo

Man. This is embarrassing.

Sam

Ugh, I can't believe school's actually gotten worse.

Carly

Shh.

Freddie

Be quiet.

Sam

[sulkily] I don't wanna be quiet! I hate these clothes! Wearing blue and khaki makes me feel like a nub! [to Freddie] No offense to you and all the other nubs in the world.

Carly

[warns Sam] You shouldn't criticize the dress code out loud.

Sam

Why? It's not like they're gonna hear me, and how come I gotta--

Sam Puckett, to the principal's office!

Sam

Huh? Why?

I heard you.

Mr. Howard

You wipe that look off your face!

Freddie

This isn't a look! It's just my face!

Mr. Howard

Well, you should get your money back.

Carly

(grabs Freddie by the shoulder) Okay, we've gotta get Principal Franklin his job back!

Freddie

Shhhhhh! Don't say that--

Carly Shay, to the principal's office!

Carly

Coming! (to Freddie) I'm so scared!

Freddie

(walks up to Gibby and pats him) Freddie's gotcha...

Freddie

[To his mother] [Enraged] Mom! You tried to vacuum my ear while I was sleeping?!

Marissa

Please let me finish!

Freddie

No. You treat me like a child and I'm not gonna put up with it anymore.

Marissa

What does that mean?

Freddie

I'M MOVING OUT! [Throws down the vaccum cleaner tube and storms out of the Shay apartment]

Marissa

[Runs out after her son] Freddie! Freddie!

Freddie

All friends have fights.

Carly

Yeah, but this one was different. It wasn't even like a fight. I mean, we didn't yell or anything. We just said stuff, and it was bad.

Freddie

Come on, you and Sam have been friends forever.

Carly

I know, but people change.

T-Bo

Mm-hmm. That's what happened with me and my friend Eddie Robinson. He got hit by a bus. Now he's Deaddie Robinson. Talk about change. (holds up a stick of muffins) Try a muffin. (he gives one to Carly)

Carly

...He told us about his dead friend and then gave me a muffin.

Freddie

I MEAN IT! BOTH OF YOU, GET BACK INSIDE, RIGHT NOW!

Sam

I'm not going back in unless Carly goes first!

Carly

Well I'm not going back in 'till Dave and I shoot what we need for our video! ...No matter how messy this wind makes my hair!

Carly, it’s not worth it! And you guys are friends, you shouldn’t be fighting!

Yeah, friends shouldn’t fight!

I just said that!

Well, I thought it before you said it!

Liar!

Sam

I have as much of a right to Freddie as you do!

Carly

No, you don't! Freddie loves me!

Freddie

Hey, look, a freckle on my wrist...

Freddie

Mom, I'm not allergic to flowers!

And you weren't allergic to Mexican food trucks, but look at you now!

Freddie

My mom thinks I'll choke on pills, so she pounds 'em with a mallet and puts the pill powder in my fruit sauce.

Spencer

Fruit sauce?

Freddie

My mom thinks I'll choke on fruits, so she pounds it with a mallet--

Spencer

It's not my business.

Freddie

Carly, don't leave!

Carly

[referring to Mrs. Benson] SHE'S BEATING ME WITH YOUR UNDERWEAR!

Sam

Remember two years ago when I dated that guy Eric Moseby–- kid with the big nose?

Freddie

Sure, Noseby Moseby.

Sam

Uh-huh. And remember how he tried to get me to be his girlfriend for like six months and I kept saying, "Get away from me, or I'll kill you"? And then he bought me a subscription to the Bacons of the World Club, and then boom, I thought I was in love with the guy?

Freddie

I'm listening.

Sam

I was never in love with him; I was in love with the foreign bacon that kept showing up at my door every month...like a beautiful greasy dream.

Freddie

I doubt that bacon can make you think you're in love with someone.

Sam

You ever had Bolivian bacon?

Freddie

No.

Sam

It changes you.

Freddie

You just can't stand the idea of Carly and me as a couple.

Sam

Very true, it makes me wanna puke up blood.

Freddie

I just said, "Oh."

Carly

No, you said it like you were at a raffle, and you won a prize, and then you found out that the prize was just a can of soup, so you go, "Oh."

Freddie

You know I like you way better than most soups.