[Gibby takes off the purple robot head from Freddie]
FreddieThis is the WORST party ever.
[feeling ashamed] Dude, I am so sorry. I didn't know you--
Freddie
[yells at Spencer] TWENTY TIMES?! You had to slam me twenty times?!
[gives Freddie a pink stuffed unicorn] Here.
[Freddie hits Spencer with pink stuffed unicorn in anger for dropping him the Jerk Basket]
'Cause! You iCarlys were supposed to help me regain my popularity after the bread and butter pickle incident with that little girl, and you failed!
It's not our fault that afterwards and you went screamed at some dude in a wheelchair!
He rolled over my foot and scratched my loafers!
Well, who gives a rat's--
Stop! Stop. [sighs] He's right.
Freddie
Are you kidding me?!
NO! After that video went viral of Nevel screaming at that man in a wheelchair... we should've done something to help him.
Why should've we helped him?
So, I was thinking to close the show, instead of random dancing...
...we can try random scratching, and then maybe Freddie could-
Hey! Ohhh, done! Whoo! [Sam and Carly just look at Spencer without saying anything] I say, it's done! Woooooo! [Sam and Carly still don't say anything] C'mon, ask me about it!
We can see, you made a snowman!
Uhhh, it's a snowwoman, duh. Can't you see her snowbahoobies? That's how you know that it's a- [a snowboob falls off] Dang it! Ah, I can fix that, wait. Urgh!
[Elevator opens and Gibby comes out of it]
Hey hey, guess what. I started using deodorant. [Everyone looks at him oddly] But I can't decide which scent I like best, so under my right arm I used Ocean Breeze... [Sam quickly gets out of her chair away from Gibby] ...and under my left I used Summer Swagger. Carly, c'mon. Which one smells best?..
Gibby, no no, Gibby no... [tries to get Gibby to stop him from making her smell his underarms]
[Gibby forces Carly's head under his underarm]
Alright, that's the Ocean Breeze.
[Carly keeps trying to escape]
I'd stop this if it wasn't hilarious.
[Carly is finally free]
Now smell the left, let's go. [Carly is forced under his other pit and keeps trying to escape again] Okay, that's the Summer Swagger. Breathe it in deep. [Carly's free again] So which one you like best?
Probably the Ocean Breeze.
I knew it! Hey, is that a snowlady?
I think one of her bahoobies might've--
Freddie
Hello, good people, and Sam!
What up with the fruit bowl, fruit bowl?
Freddie
I just thought you guys might like some pears, Pear for you, [to Carly] pear for you, [to Spencer] pear for you. [to Gibby]
Freddie
'Cause this Freddie just got himself a job working at the Pear Store.
You're selling computers?
Freddie
Yep! Ipears, Pear Phones, Pear Pads, Pear-port Extremes, and all other Pear related products and accessories.
I love products and accessories.
Freddie
I do. You do not.
Hey, Gib... Why don't you see which deodorant Freddie likes best?
Freddie
What do you mean which deodorant I like best? [Gibby grabs him] Oh! Gibby.
Freddie
Gibby.
Just breathe in... Come on breathe, Gibby.
There! I fixed her. And check this out. Her nose lights up. [His sculpture sets on fire] No!
(Screaming) What?! [Smoke alarm beeps] Aw!
I'll call the Fire Department.
I'll disable the smoke alarm.
[Goes up to Freddie] Dude, hey.
Freddie
What's up?
I have been talking to that nerdy, cute salesboy for 20 minutes and he has no clue that I am flirting with him; and I've been flirting my butt off.
Freddie
What do you want me to do about it?
You're a nerd, give me advice.
Freddie
I will not help you flirt with some- [notices Sam in her new uniform] Ahh. [Shocked] What is?!-
[Freddie looks at her in shock]
Freddie
Sam's my boss now?!
Freddie
No. This is wrong! I am a computer expert! I know SO MUCH!
We sorta dated for a while.
Freddie
She? She is LAZY, and a CRIMINAL, and a nuisance, and she has TERRIBLE table manners!
He's still in love with me. It's kinda sad.
Freddie
And if you think that she is a good employee who deserves to be MY BOSS, then YOU my friend are a TERRIBLE MANAGER and you don't deserve to have me work here!
NNatalie
Okay, you're fired.
Freddie
But- how-- Fine. I'll leave. But I am keeping this Pear store shirt.
NNatalie
Kevin, get the shirt.
Freddie
Kevin, come on, you're my friend.... Kevin! Kevin, I shared my sandwich with you one time! Kevin! ...This isn't over!
NNatalie
Why? What's left?
Freddie
...Nothing, it's over. [walks off]
[runs after him] Dude! ...Don't you think you were a little rough on him?
NNatalie
...Nah, who cares.
Yeah. ...I'll be right back.
NNatalie
I'll never see you again, will I?
SSteven
I'm leaving tonight.
Wow. Way to bring us all down.
But, you can't leave tonight!
SSteven
I'm sorry. They need me back at the base in Italy tomorrow.
But, but that's not fair, you just got here! Come on... This is supposed to be a happy night! But, I just wanted more time, ya know, to have fun with you...
SSteven
Then come with me.
[surprised] What? What are you talking about?
SSteven
My Air Force base is right outside Florence, beautiful little town. Lots of the other officers have their kids living with them right on the base. There's a school. You can do...
SSteven
Why? Why is it crazy?
Because! I... I can't leave my friends.
Freddie
He's your dad.
Yeah, yeah. Living in Italy? Italian smoothies. I bet they use that Gelato. Oh yeah. Gelato's good.
Oh, dude... If my dad asked me to spend some time with him in Italy, I'd say... Well, first I'd say, "oh, so you're my dad". And then I'd go.
But... But what about iCarly?
The Internet will still be here when you get back.
...Go to Italy. Go with Dad.
[Long pause]
SSteven
Lots a handsome guys your age in Italy.
[At the end of the final iCarly webcast]
And, that's all the comedy for this iCarly. We, uh... We have something to tell ya. Now, this isn't goodbye.
No. It's not. But iCarly's gonna be taking a break. Carly's going to Italy to live with her dad for a while.
Oh... Listen. Doing iCarly for you guys, has meant so so much to me. And it's changed my life.
It's kept me out of prison. Most of the time.
Show's been a lot of fun. And um... I wanna say... To the fans of iCarly thank you. Without you guys, we'd just be a couple of idiots with a camera in an attic.
Freddie
Which we are.
Well, yeah. So, 'til we see you again...
Keep your sock full a butter.
And if you're attacked by a moose...
Make sure you scream, "Oh my God, I'm being attacked by a moose! He's eating us! Ahhhhh!"
[long pause]
CSCarly and Sam
[bittersweetingly] iCarly.
I'm leaving in a few minutes.
Freddie
Yeah, I know. Better not be late, or your dad's gonna be wazzed off.
You know, you don't have to take all your tech stuff home tonight.
Freddie
Yeah, but I figured I might as well get a head start. Tomorrow, I promised Gibby I'd help him do some research on the proper care and feeding of weasels, so... I figured the sooner I get this equipment out of here, the sooner I can take it down to...
[Carly takes his hand and he stops talking. Then she leans in and kisses him. They have an awkward moment afterwards]
So, I'll get my bags and take them downstairs.
Freddie
Why don't I help you with those bags?
[when Carly turns around, Freddie throws his hands victoriously up in the air, knowing he finally succeeded in getting Carly to kiss him]
iCarly · 611 quotes
