Sam Puckett quotes from iCarly

Can you guys pay a little attention to us?

NO! We have five hours invested in this game!

We are not stopping until we guess what we are!

Sam

(to Spencer) You're cheese.

(to Freddie) You're a big toe.

OH!!!

DANG IT!!! (Carly and Sam walk away, as he and Spencer put on new cards) AM I A SQUIRREL?!

NO!

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Sam

Holy chiz on a chizzle!

What?

Sam

"Spencer Shay of Seattle died of natural causes last Saturday."

It doesn't say that! (takes the paper from Sam) ...It says that!

(takes the paper) NICE! First they insult my art, and THEN they call me dead! Which incidentally, I'm not!

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What's wrong?

Gibby texted me ten times today. (he shows Carly and Sam his PearPhone)

Sam

What'd he text you?

"I'm going to make you bleed."

Sam

"On Friday."

"At 3:02."

Sam

"I love you, Mom."

"Wait, that last text wasn't for you, it was for my mom." ...Well, that's what you get for macking on his girlfriend!

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(after Gibby and Tasha leave)

HOW... does HE get HER?

Sam

There's gotta be something wrong with that chick.

Oh, come on. Gibby's sweet, and cute, and fun, and-- there's gotta be something wrong with that chick.

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AND NOW!

Sam

We take our buckets...

And do THIS! (she and Sam both drop their foamy water on a laptop) And that's the PROPER way...

Sam

To clean your parents' laptop!

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So where are the groceries?

Sam

You left them at the donut shop.

No... (starts to leave)

Where 'ya going?

To the donut shop...

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Here we go.

Cross your fingers.

Sam

Can I get a sandwich?

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Ginger Fox has no talent!

She can't do anything!

Sam

Maybe it's best they don't know.

I feel like I kissed Gibby.

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Sam

Ohhhhhhh, it hurts!

What?

Sam

The sound of Freddie talking!

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Sam

*pulls off Dr. Van Gurbin's Bigfoot mask*

VGDr. Van Gurbin

Hey!

Dr. Van Gurbin?

Well, this is a Scooby Doo moment.

VGDr. Van Gurbin

I'm so sorry. See, my book wasn't selling well, and my dad always told me I would be a failure.

Sam

Your dad was right.

So you dressed up like Bigfoot just to create hype?

VGDr. Van Gurbin

Yes. So people would buy my new book. [takes out his book] Bigfoot.

[Sam smacks the book out off his hands]

VGDr. Van Gurbin

I had that coming.

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Sam

[Notices the broken piece of the counter top] How'd the counter get broken?

Some lady came and–

[Takes the umbrella, realizes] You were trying to kill the fly!

Flies like to die.

[Carly grunts at Spencer. Spencer takes the umbrella from Carly and grunts back at her.]

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It's a natural pose.

Sam

Of course it is. I do this all the time, don't you, Carls?

Yeah, I find it both natural and not stupid-looking.

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Sam

I don't wanna go to Nora Dirshlitt's lame birthday party!

That girl has a sad life!

Sam

So does Freddie! We can't fix the world!

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I'm really sorry your clown had an aneurysm.

Sam

I'm sorry he had an aneurysm while I was dancin' with him.

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Sam

Carly, come rub my neck.

I have to go work on my project.

Sam

Freddie, come rub my neck.

Yeah, that'll happen.