Carly Shay quotes from iCarly

Carly

What happened to the flowers?

I soaked them in bleach and pounded them with a mallet.

Freddie

Carly, don't leave!

Carly

[referring to Mrs. Benson] SHE'S BEATING ME WITH YOUR UNDERWEAR!

Freddie

I just said, "Oh."

Carly

No, you said it like you were at a raffle, and you won a prize, and then you found out that the prize was just a can of soup, so you go, "Oh."

Freddie

You know I like you way better than most soups.

Carly

Wow... you seriously don't want to kiss me. Why?

Freddie

'Cause ... I'm just bacon!

Carly

You're bacon?

Freddie

Foreign bacon!

Carly

Did that taco truck hit you in your brain?!

Carly

Well, I'm standing here with my lips all glossed up, and you're treating me like I'm your icky cousin Amanda.

Freddie

Amanda is disgusting.

Okay, I dare Sam to get arrested.

Carly

Nope, uh-uh.

Sam

Been there, done that.

Freddie

My kittys got claws.

Carly

Rowr.

Spencer

Sam's throwing a tantrum.

Carly

I know.

Freddie

We know.

Spencer

What happened, did we run out of bacon?

Freddie

No.

Carly

She's mad because I refuse to enter the beauty pageant. [Sam is still screaming]

Sam

I look hot.

Carly

I feel violated.

Sam

[as introduction to the audience] My name is Samantha Puckett, I'm from Seattle, and I love fried chicken!

Carly

[backstage, to a random person] It's true she really does.

Sam

HEY, I won first place!

Carly

Can you guys pay a little attention to us?

Spencer

NO! We have five hours invested in this game!

Freddie

We are not stopping until we guess what we are!

Sam

(to Spencer) You're cheese.

Carly

(to Freddie) You're a big toe.

Spencer

OH!!!

Freddie

DANG IT!!! (Carly and Sam walk away, as he and Spencer put on new cards) AM I A SQUIRREL?!

Spencer

NO!

Sam

Holy chiz on a chizzle!

Carly

What?

Sam

"Spencer Shay of Seattle died of natural causes last Saturday."

Carly

It doesn't say that! (takes the paper from Sam) ...It says that!

Spencer

(takes the paper) NICE! First they insult my art, and THEN they call me dead! Which incidentally, I'm not!

Carly

What's wrong?

Freddie

Gibby texted me ten times today. (he shows Carly and Sam his PearPhone)

Sam

What'd he text you?

Carly

"I'm going to make you bleed."

Sam

"On Friday."

Carly

"At 3:02."

Sam

"I love you, Mom."

Carly

"Wait, that last text wasn't for you, it was for my mom." ...Well, that's what you get for macking on his girlfriend!

Carly

(she starts jumping on a trampoline) What's the matter with you?

Spencer

I can't take being dead anymore. Being dead is so boring!

Carly

(still jumping) Then quit being dead.

Freddie

HOW... does HE get HER?

Sam

There's gotta be something wrong with that chick.

Carly

Oh, come on. Gibby's sweet, and cute, and fun, and-- there's gotta be something wrong with that chick.