Hell's Kitchen quotes

Let's go, three salmon, one turbot.

Heather?

Heather West

What?

Is there any salmon left in the house?

What's going on? What's going on?

Chef, I--

What? Come here you! Tell me! I'm the fucking chef!!

Yes, chef. I don't have enough salmon to get through the night.

You're not serious, are you?

I am serious chef.

Hey, I'd fuck off and go and buy some if I were you.

May I substitute using turbot?

Why don't you check with the maître d'? Can we serve turbot in place of the salmon?

On which table?

Table 20. Please? Thank you. (to Sara) Hey, you, fuck off, will you? You useless cow.

Turbot's in here. Sorry chef.

You know missy, you're finished aren't you?

No, chef, come on!

Hey, what do you mean come on? I want you to come on! I want you to wake up!

Chef, I told you and they're resolving it now and all I can do is give you the turbot. I have the salmon in the fridge and there's only 2!

That's right! And whose fucking fault was it?! Don't get fucking upset with me in my fucking kitchen when you're standing there sulking because you fucked the salmon!

I'm not sulking chef.

Yeah, you're finished. Heather, get on the fish please and do something for her yeah?

No, chef.

So wake up and get it back together!

I don't need to be replaced chef!

Then tell her then.

I don't need to be replaced.

There you go.

(interview) I screwed up one fucking table with one fucking salmon. I wasn't beat. Don't get up all about my crotch about shit.

Virginia, you won the challenge. I guaranteed you a place in the final three. If you want to go, that is your choice. If you decide to stay, I'll send Sara home.

I understand what you're telling me that I want to be in the final three because I deserve to be in the final three, not because you're a man of your word. Not because of a friggin challenge. I want to be there because I deserve to be.

I can't help you anymore. This is entirely your decision.

Can I ask a question chef?

Shut the fuck up for 30 seconds.

This...is quite possibly the toughest decision I've had to make. The person leaving Hell's Kitchen tonight and will not be advancing to the final two is........ Keith. What I am looking for is a leader. And personally big boy, you're not ready. Give me your jacket.

[gives Gordon his jacket] So you're saying that Virginia's a better leader than me? I've been leading the whole time. Whatever station you told me, through the line with people that didn't know anything.

I personally don't think you're ready to lead.

I personally think that you have a hard-on for Virginia.

Why did you have to be so fucking rude?

Because you're rude to me all the time.

So? Now I definitely know I've made the right decision. So your attitude does stink.

And whose dish is that?

It's mine, chef.

What is the dish?

It is chorizo-encrusted pink snapper.

Where in the fuck's the snapper?

It's underneath.

That's the snapper there?

Yes sir.

Okay. [tastes] God, fuck. Do you think you can really seriously eat all that without burning your mouth? What a disappointment.

I don't think so.

Now you want to fucking argue. Back in line.

Yes, chef. (interview) I think he looked at me and said, "This guy's really confident", and I think I intimidated him.

What a fucking jerk.

Whose is this?

(interview) Food is sex, and everybody likes sex, and everybody likes food. I want to make people feel like they just had great sex.

Unfortunately, it's raw. Raw foie gras. Take that. [gives a piece to Josh and they both taste] Thank you.

(interview) That foie gras was goddamn perfect.

That is way, way, way too salty, my man.

(interview) OK, I'll give him, it was a little salty.

Very few of the chefs have impressed Chef Ramsay with their dishes. Now, it's down to the final chef.

Oh, fuck me. Whose is this?

(dressed up as a cowboy) It's me, chef.

And where's your horse?

I left him parked outside, chef.

I've never met an Asian cowboy.

(interview, laughs) I knew I shouldn't have worn this outfit!

You are one chunky monkey, aren't you?

(laughs) Yes, chef.

What is it?

It's finger food chef, so.

How big are your fucking fingers?

I have big hands.

[tastes part of the dish] This...is nice, just throw all that away. Your biggest problem is you don't know when to stop.

(interview) My plate was full, but, heck, I would've eaten all the food on the plate.

With the red team in shambles, Chef Ramsay turns to the blue team for some reassurance.

Aaron, how are you feeling?

Sorry. [starts to cry] I can't believe I'm crack-- I'm cracking up right now.

Keep it together! For God's sakes, man!

I don't know what's going on! [continues to cry]

Now you're making me feel nervous! I am not going into service with this level of incompetence. You know that.

(outside, to the waiting diners) Not too good... not too good...

Stop fucking crying. Stop, STOP! Do you want to go and lie down in the dorm?

No, sir, I'm fine. I'm fine, chef. I apologize. I'm fine.

You can do it.

Yes, chef.

Good man.

Who cooked these quail's eggs?

I did, chef.

Touch that there. It's like a plastic silicon implant. Fucking bin them. Get rid of them.

(to Vinnie) Hey, just come here, you. You're putting water in the risotto.

Chef, I put water in the risotto, we don't-we don't have any left(over) stock.

Oh, for fuck's sake...

(interview) Well, hmm, stock is made of water, and vegetables are made of water. No harm, no foul. That's all we have.

[tastes] It tastes like gnat's piss. [coughs] Stop it! Look at me now, okay? Get off the section! Brad! Hey, get on there. Get your arse on there. And stay on there!

While it's total chaos in the red kitchen, in the blue kitchen, the retirement home chef seems to be feeling all of his 48 years.

[washing his face with water] Oh, fuck.

(interview) I'd like to see Aaron get better.

Oh, fuck.

(interview) Get better at cooking.

I'm kind of dizzy right now. I'll be back in five, gentlemen.

(interview) He just gave up. I would never walk off the line short of being punched in the face. Finish your night.

You've gone white.

[whimpering] Chef, I don't want to quit because of me. I don't want to quit because...

Hey.

But, I don't want to quit because of the guys, they're trying so hard. Everybody's trying really hard.

Hey, shhhhhhhh. Relax, relax, relax.

With Aaron taking early retirement from the meat station, Josh jumps in and tries to save the day.

Two minutes -- Eddie, are you okay with two minutes on that?

Yes.

Okay, two minutes!

Come on guys, no bickering, let's do it!

(interview) I was born for this.

Come on guys! (interview) Unfortunately, I myself walked into the deepest pile of the shit.

Josh,

Yes, chef?

How many portions of chicken are overcooked?

One, two, three, four, and that's all the chicken that we have, chef.

So we've got no chicken anywhere?

We have no chicken, chef.

We don't have any fucking chicken, we don't have any more Wellingtons, we don't have any fucking lettuce! We haven't served any food! How could we be out of anything?

(to the red team) Your tables are now getting up... pissed off, and leaving! Nothing's getting done.

Eddie, fill those out. They're going to taste like fucking lighter fluid.

People fucking me up right now.

Maryann, are they arguing again?

Yes, chef, they are.

(to the red team) STOP! [calls out the red team] Come here. Shut it down, forget it. Service, (to Jean-Philippe) we're shutting it down.

You've got every right to look down, because that was embarrassing. Ladies, I've never seen girls bitch so much. It was just evil and twisted. Hell's Bitches. Vinnie, 60 minutes without any appetizers. What have you got to say?

I didn't know what you wanted. You didn't want to show me. So what did you want me to do?

You two-faced lazy little fucker.

Lazy?

(interview) All I could think to myself was, "Please shut up. Who are you talking to? Are you serious?" I just couldn't, I couldn't believe it.

What do you want me to do? Wipe your ass?

(to the customers) My name's Aaron. I'm a chef. I'm one of your chefs tonight. And welcome to Hell's Kitchen.

Thank you.

(to Jean Philippe) What in the fuck is Aaron doing in the dining room?

My name's Aaron, and I'm a chef in Hell's Kitchen. Welcome to Hell's Kitchen.

He's talking to customers.

He's talking to customers.

My name's Aaron. Well, you already know my name because it's on my shirt!

Get that fucking donkey out of there!

45 minutes into dinner service and Eddie's spaghetti has brought the blue kitchen to a standstill so Chef Ramsay turns to the women for a little hope.

Spaghetti, scallops how long?

3 minutes, chef.

[sees what Bonnie is doing] What are you doing? What are you doing?

I'm doing 3 scallops, chef.

See? I called one spaghetti, one scallops, then she's doing three scallops.

I thought I heard... I'm sorry. Okay, one scallop.

Are you a dumb blonde?

Eddie! Oh, no. Oh, no! [returns to the workstation] ALL OF YOU! Taste it! It's inedible! [spits it out] It's way too peppery and you wouldn't even serve it to a fucking PIG! (to Eddie) Get off the section!

Yes, chef.

Get off!

Yes, chef.