Gordon quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Christina Wilson

Chef wants you now. Pick it the fuck up! You guys can thank the blue team later for finishing service.

[stops to call the entire team at the pantry] Stand there, all of you! Unbelievable! Tonight, you've got completely dominated in service. Get upstairs and think of two individuals who your team would be stronger without. Is that clear?

Yes chef.

GET OUT!

Let’s jump to the chef's table, please! Two tuna, one wellington!

Yes, chef!

Two tuna, two minutes!

Working!

Meese, how long for the wellie garnish?

Ah!

Just give me a time, Meese! (interview) It is very hard to run the garnish station when you do not communicate! [to Meese] Garnish, talk to me! [to Gordon] Walking with wellington.

(Arctic) char is in, right? Walking with tuna!

Where’s the garnish?!

I don’t know, chef.

What is she (Meese) doing?!

The wellington garnish is up, isn’t it?

(interview) Bitch, keep control of your station! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

What are you doing? What are you doing?!

I’m sorry.

God, I’m trying to help you!

Meese!

Yes, chef.

I don’t want my guests eating on an installment plan!

Kris Jenner

[laughing] He did not just say that!

Where's the garnish?

I don't know, chef.

What is she doing?

The wellington garnish is up and--

(interview; regarding Meese) Bitch, get control of your station. (to Meese) What are you doing? (putting spinach on Messe's pan) What are you doing? What are you doing?

Sorry.

God, I'm trying to help you.

(disintegrates) Ugh!

Meese!

Yes, chef?

I don't want my guests eating on an installment plan?

Kris Jenner

Did he say "an installment plan"? He did not just say that.

(to Meese) Where's the mash (potatoes)?

They're right here chef.

Christina Wilson

You can leave them in the pot. We talked about this. Leave them in the pot.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Who put that on a tray like that?

Christina Wilson

Meese.

Hey, hey, hey, hey! (to Kris Jenner) Kris, I'm so sorry. Hey! All of you come here! COME HERE! GET IN! [summons the entire team into the pantry] I'M DONE!

Kris Jenner

Oh, are they grounded?

We have a chef table in there tonight. Sat a meter away and look how I got the mash. It dumped on the fucking tray! I've been INSIDE PRISON and they give food better THAN THIS SHIT! [throws the plate down on the floor, causing it to shatter]

(interview; screams) AHHH!!! We suck. Like, we can’t do this!

(goes to the Blue kitchen) Hey! Hey, Blue team!

Yes, chef.

(to Eddie and Alan) You two, on desserts. The rest of you, jump into the Red Team and help them finish! Now!

Yes, chef!

NOW!

Where we at?

Who’s on fish? I’ll hop on fish!

What do we got working?

That’s already reduced in there. Right here.

I can’t believe this is fucking happening.

It’s fucking burnt, throw it out.

(interview) These boys just bomb-rushed our kitchen, kamikaze style. Like, fucking... [imitates bomb falling and going off]

As soon as those two tunas are ready, we’ll go to the pass!

Why are you screaming?!

I’m not screaming! THIS IS HOW I TALK!

(interview; impersonates Hassan yelling at her) "You guys need to listen to me, ‘cause I’m Hassan, and I'm big, and I blah-blah-blah!" Shut up!

Tuna going to the window!

[to Sous Chef Christina] On your left, two fish.

Okay, let’s go.

First ticket out, team! Loving the teamwork, guys!

With a very vocal Hassan leading the charge, the men have taken over the red kitchen...

[to Kris Jenner] And I have your tuna.

Kris Jenner

Smells so good.

...delivering entrées to the chef’s table and grateful customers in the dining room.

Last table now! Two Arctic char, four wellington!

Let’s go, guys.

I’m walking char.

Heard!

She’s (Jackie) got the wellies right behind you.

Service, please.

Alright, guys, let’s clear it down.

Christina Wilson

[to Red team] Please thank the gentlemen for finishing your service two nights in a row!

Thank you, guys!

No problem.

Fucking pathetic-ass shit. Bullshit ass team. Worst team ever.

Get the fuck out of the way! GET OUT OF THE WAY! SEASON FROM A FUCKING HIGH! LET'S GO! [showing Kevin how to cook scallops] Watch me! Twelve o'clock, one o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock, four o'clock, yes?

Yes chef.

Bang, that is it. You just leave them here.

Yes chef.

Then you check in with your garnish.

Aaahhh!!!

What the (bleep) are you doing?

(Bleep, bleep)! It's hot! It's hot! (groans)

I grabbed it with my hand. [stove starts catching fire]

Oh, my God! Oh, (bleep) hell!

Look! [captions on the screen]

That's my mistake, my mistake.

Get out! (Bleep) GET OUT! Now you are making history you're gonna burn down the the restaurant! Refire scallop! [tosses the barely undercooked scallops through the sink]

Back in the Blue Kitchen, Chef Ramsay finds nothing that is amusing.

(to Kevin) Where are the scallops?

Right here chef! Right here chef!

Hey, all of you! Fuckin' hell. Just touch them, come on! Just touch them! Just touch that! Touch it! Look at it! Look!

I've just done them with you and they are all fucking overcooked, raw, this is not normal! All of you, come here! Get in there!

Yes, chef.

MOVE, CHAD!

(interview) Oh, Jesus Christ. Not tonight of all fuckin' nights, not tonight!

Get over there! Get over there! [approaches the entire team to the pantry room] What in the fuck is going on here? What is going on?(points at Kevin) You!

I fucked up, chef.

Do me a big favour.

Yes, chef?

Yeah?! Get your apron off, get packed, and fuck off out! [opens the pantry room door for Kevin] First, GET OUT! GET OUT!

Yes, chef. [leaves the pantry room to pack his things]

[cold-blooded] Who's next?

[dead silence]

Get your shit together, and salvage what's left for all of you. FUCKING WAKE UP! NOW!

Yes, chef. (interview) Kevin just went down, I don't know what the fuck happened. No more mistakes, we can't have a shit service.

Joe! On the fish, now!

Yes, chef. [to Blue team] Let's rebound, guys! Rebound, guys!

The blue team is hoping Alan's new risotto hits the mark.

Thirty seconds on the riso(tto)s. Walking my risottos! [sending to the pass]

Is the fish and chips gone yet?

Fish and chips is one minute out, chef. (interview) We still have a shot in spite of everything that has fucked up so far.

Fish and chips?

Walking! [holds the fish on a pot and sending over to the pass] Right here to your right.

It's fucking raw fish. [returns the fish and chips to the workstation] ALL OF YOU, STOP! LOOK AT THIS FUCKING MESS! ITS JUST DISGUSTING!!! [Jared and Joe touch the fish] WE'VE HAD EVERY POSSIBLE FUCKING MISTAKE TONIGHT, AND IT'S NOW BEYOND A JOKE! [smashes the fish on a plate] RAW FISH!!! All of you, get the fuck out of here!

Yes, chef.

GET OUT! AND I MEAN NOW!

(interview) Argghhh... It was embarrassing tonight.

GET OUT!

Over in the red kitchen...

Tuna and New York Strip?

Coming to the pass in 15 seconds, chef.

Hassan and Dannie hope the the third time's charm with their refired New York Strip and Tuna.

Coming out the pass, one New York (Strip).

One tuna.

(interview) There's no option to fail we can not fuck this up. If we do, another one of us is going home.

Fucking steak's raw. Hey, hey, Red Team! RED TEAM!

Yes, chef?

It is contagious. There's just mistake, after mistake, after mistake! DO ME A BIG FAVOR, ALL TOGETHER, FUCK OFF! GET OUT! GET OUT!

What happened?

What the fuck man?!

(interview) Kevin's gone. Tonight's dinner service was a complete disaster, the front of the train went off and the back just followed. (in the dorm) It was... just nipping in the but. Joe, biggest fuck-up of the night.

(to Frank) Yeah.

Where's the fucking lobster? Come on, Hassan! Just hurry up!

[wipes forehead with his sleeve] Ten seconds, chef! Fifteen seconds, I'm sorry, chef!

(interview) Hassan, you look like you're melting into the lobster. I guess it’s the Red Team’s secret ingredient!

[to Hassan] Hey, young man. PSST!

Yes, chef.

You're sweating into the lobster. It's dripping! I don't want a fucking lobster covered in your sweat! Is there a bandana or something, PLEASE?!

On order, four covers, Table 22: One special tableside, one carbonara, two scallops!

Yes, chef!

[to Jared] Hey, two minutes on those scallops!

Two minutes! Two minutes out!

Why do we call back, Jared? Why do we call back?

So we communicate, and so we know each other's times.

When I learned this system, it was in French. And when you were begging for one more minute, it was crucial we got one more minute. You've got to talk, yes?

Oui! [Chad looks up in confusion]

(interview) What the hell is going on? All of a sudden, Jared is speaking in French.

Oui.

[to Jared while lifting pans] So, these are really super hot now. So, you lift them up there as well.

Oui.

Okay, and that comes over there now.

Oui.

Yeah, there you go.

(interview) Are you fucking kidding me?

Frank, I can send the carbonara first, oui?

(interview) You try to fucking talk like that in Brooklyn, you know what would happen? I would pick this... [picks up nearby trashcan] fucking thing up, right? I would pick this up and I would put it over his fucking head.

Alright, guys. We're getting off to a great start! Keep it going! We're not slowing down, oui?

Joe, what is going on?

(Table) 23? 23?

23. Yeah, what do you need?

I just need to know where the fucking is.

(to Manda) What's he (Joe) doing there?! What's the fucking fat little donkey doing out there?

[letting Joe back to the kitchen] Hey, 23 is this way, I'll show you, watch your language.

(interview) Regardless of what's going on in my head or in the kitchen, I'm a people person. I'm always good with the people.

[attracts with diners when serving tableside] How is doing today?

I'm hungry.

Oh, okay. Well, we'll fix that in a hurry. (interview) I can always turn on the charm (smiles). [plates the tableside dish with...] Mascarpone sauce, potatoes.

Joe!

Yeah?

Move your arse.

[brings the plate to the hungry female diner] Here you go, enjoy. My mom never yelled at me this much.

Joe, get your fat arse in here, NOW! Hey you, come here?

Yes, chef?

[notices the dirt on Joe's chef jacket] What's all this on here? It is a brand new jacket? You look like a sack of shit on a hot day. YOU ARE DIRTY, YOU'RE SLOW, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, GET OUT!!! GET CHANGE, HURRY UP!!!

I don't have another clean, chef--

Fucking find one! I don't care! FIND ONE! [to the rest of the Blue Team] Two Arctic char, two New York strip!

[to Joe] What do you need?!

A FUCKING COAT! COME ON! (interview) I would never think of talking back to Chef Ramsay. [runs down the hall and into the dorms] FUCK!! (interview) But a part of me was like, "Yo, bro! What the fuck do you want me to do about it?! You want me to feed these tables. or is this a fucking fashion show?!"

Blue team, redemption! Two covers of table twenty-three, fire two chicken, CSI: Miami actor. (to Eddie) Hey, don't fuck this up.

Yes, chef.

You guys are really waiting for that chicken, huh? I'm waiting for that chicken.

(interview) I've worked in Michelin star restaurants, so, you know, the guys are looking at me as the go-to guy in the kitchen. I'm gonna help lead us to victory.

Slicing chicken.

[holds a pot and a pan] Garnish walking right now.

Ten hut, hut. Chicken in the pass. [in which it was found out raw and undercooked; Gordon returns the chicken onto a workstation]

All of you, come here? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT?!

A little undercooked, chef.

It's pink.

(interview) You fucking worked at a 3-star Michelin restaurant cook chicken right!

[let the team sit on a chef's table] All of you, take a seat. Fucking get in there! YEAH GET IN THERE! GET FUCKING IN THERE!

We'll have some more bread! Starch out!

There is no room for the chicken.

(interview) CSI stands for Crime Scene Investigator not your CHICKEN SUCKS, IDIOT!

So who wants to eat raw chicken?

(interview; imitates explosion) Aahh! My God!

Nobody, chef.

WHO WANTS TO EAT RAW CHICKEN?

Nobody, chef.

So why are you expecting them (points at Miller and crew) to do it? GET A GRIP!

Yes chef.

There’s seven plates up there.

I have one pork and two beef! Manda!

Yes, chef.

How many dishes are there up front?

There’s seven dishes, chef.

Unbelievable.

(interview; counts quickly) Yo, what the fuck is there seven up there for? Where’s the extra dish coming from?

Frank, you did chicken and beef?

Yeah.

Amanda told us she was doing beef.

(interview) This is not good.

What have we got?!

We got three beef, chef.

And that’s the best you can do for her (Andi)? Can you just get your shit together?! [facepalms] This is embarrassing!

(interview) Everybody knew I was doing this rib eye! Let’s do some math!

I just want two beef dishes. Come on!

We’re keeping the steak Diane, and we’ll keep that one right there. That’s it, done.

(interview) I don’t know if Frank has a problem with me or females in general, but what am I, fucking chopped liver?

Brice and Chef Andi will select one of the four appetizers to feature on their wedding reception menu. First up...

Ariel, let’s start off with your seafood appetizer.

I did a grilled peso squid stuffed with lobster claw.

Andi, what do you think visually?

It's really opaque-looking.

Slightly phallic in terms of... looks like a bison’s penis. [Jackie and Ashley laugh while Ariel facepalms] Yeah.

[smiles] I didn’t want to say that.

Not the most attractive.

It’s an aphrodisiac.

[after tasting the squid] You didn't cook the squid enough. It’s still raw, it’s very chewy.

Brice?

Yeah, it’s just kinda off-putting.

That’s not a good start.

Jackie, Red team's first nominee, and why?

Our first nominee is Ariel. The fish station completely collapsed. The scallops, everything was just bad.

Red team's second nominee, and why?

Hey, they voted for me.

(to Jackie) They voted for you?

Yes.

WHY?

I really don't know. I believe it should have been Ashley, 'cause if I was on either one of those stations, I would have ran it way better.

(interrupting Jackie) We chose Jackie, chef, because of her lack of progress. It doesn't help us to have to be creative for her.

That's not true, Chef. What a mess.