Harley Quinn quotes from Harley Quinn

Harley Quinn

Ivy, you call me out on all my bullshit but you don't judge me for it. We have fun wether we're sitting on the couch or murdering a group of investment bankers. You showed me what the best version of myself could be and... and you held me to it. I'm in love with you. I wanna to be with you and... and yes, it might be messy, it might not work. It might even destroy our friendship forever, but love is a risk. I'd rather risk our friendship than pretend these feelings aren't real. You see, you don't give up on love, Ive. Take a risk, take leap of faith and be with me.

Harley Quinn

If I can't fuck up Ivy's wedding, no one can!

Harley Quinn

[Singing in heavy metal style]: Ivy is so smart. She's no science wuzzy. And in celebration, I'm gonna eat her puss... [Ivy shows up.] Oh, hey, Ive!

Harley Quinn

[After throwing Bruce Wayne's unconscious body to the floor] Who has two thumbs to break and a full set of teeth to yank out? THIS GUY!

Harley Quinn

Who is pumped for the best VD ever? I mean, ugh, look, you know what I meant.

Harley Quinn

Holy shit. Do I love Valentine's Day? Not only is it the gushiest, mushiest, most romantic day of the year, but for 24 hours, you have a bulletproof excuse for doing super cheesy shit for your partner. You can eat as much chocolate as you want, no judgment. And it's super fucking cold in February, so it's the perfect excuse to snuggle.

Harley Quinn

Oh, you can't possibly be mad at me for getting you off too good. That is not a thing.

Harley Quinn

It's a bird, it's a plane. It's motherfucking Harley Quinn!

Harley Quinn

You wanna dance, baby? Let's fucking dance!

Harley Quinn

The Mother Box: my favorite means of intergalactic transportation and body part.

Commissioner Gordon

You're a cancer, Quinn. Spreading from Gotham's lymph nodes into its spleen, and God help us if you get to Gotham's bladder! But I'm the chemo!

Harley Quinn

[to Batman] How long's he gonna keep doing this?

Commissioner Gordon

You're a festering boil, Quinn! A bedsore! A tapeworm that sets up shop in Gotham's lower--

Batman

Jim.

Commissioner Gordon

All right. Where's the Joker?

Harley Quinn

I'll never give up my Puddin'!

Batman

Why are you protecting a psychotic clown that treats you like garbage?

Harley Quinn

Asked the guy who fucks bats.

Commissioner Gordon

HE DOESN'T DO THAT!

Batman

Jim.

Commissioner Gordon

Sorry.

Harley Quinn

[excitedly] Is this the good kinda acid that gives you superpowers?!

The Riddler

No!

Harley Quinn

Awwww...

Poison Ivy

Just stopped by to check up on ya, but I see you're doin' great, love the new look, I'm gonna pick up some Thai food, text me what you want, okay?

Harley Quinn

Oh, no, wait! I'll have a green potato curry.

Poison Ivy

Yeah, but I mean-I just-just text it to me.

Harley Quinn

But you're right here.

Poison Ivy

Yeah, but then I'm not going to remember what you want, and you won't like what I get you, and you're gonna want some of mine. Just-just fuckin' text it.

Harley Quinn

I know it's you, Scarecrow, Two-Face, other half of Two-Face, [in a deep voice, doing a muscle-flexing pose] Bane!

Bane

[sulkily] I'm going to blow up this Bar Mitzvah!

Two-Face

Quinn, great to see you! Where you been hiding?

Harley Quinn

On your left, where you can't see shit.

Joker

BANE! Quit dicking around with Kite Man and get those two!

Bane

But he was attacking me.

Joker

With what?! A KITE?! Just do what I tell you, you dumb, freakish monster!

Harley Quinn

Bane, why are you letting him talk to you like that? [to the other villains] In fact, why do any of you let him talk to you like that? He doesn't even have powers! His only power is bullying you into doing what he wants. I should know. He did it to me for years.

Joker

Don't listen to her! She's nothing!

Bane

She makes a good point. I don't like how you called me a monster.

Scarecrow

Yeah, that was pretty harsh...

Two-Face

Oh yeah...

Joker

Oh my God, it's just an expression!

Bane

Also, let's talk about dinner! I selected the beef well in advance and you stole it from me! You said you didn't even want to come to this "stupid thing!"

Bane

My feelings exactly! This is a monumental night for young Joshua!