Michellee quotes from Green Eggs and Ham

I love your hair. Hello.

I probably should’ve led with “hello”.

Michellee

[takes her hat back and puts it on] So you work at the carnival now? Because I thought you were Guy, the exploding inventor. No, wait. Oh, no, no, no. It’s Guy, the Paint Watcher, am I right? No, no, wait a second. No, I forgot. You’re Guy, the wild animal smuggler. Is your name even really Guy?

Yes. My name is...

Randy! [Guy turns around] You’re fired! You and that Dave made a mess of everything!

Michellee

Randy? What kind of a con artist are you anyway?

Sorry. That’s a tickling fish. Long story. [sigh] The truth is... Well, all of it’s true. I was an inventor, and... and now I really do want to be a Paint Watcher. I’m not a felon. I swear. I... I jaywalked once, but... I’m just trying to ensure that poor animal is safe.

Sam I Am

The animal is not safe!

Michellee

Goodbye, Randy.

E.B.

They’re not bad people. Can’t we just let them in until it stops raining? They could catch cold.

Michellee

Our bodies are 78% water, Elanabeth. A few more drops won’t hurt.

E.B.

Come on! We were having so much fun back the carnival. Can’t you trust me on this one?

Michellee

I trust you, E.B., but I’ll never trust that Guy again.

There's no way she'll ever trust me again. [To Sam-I-am] I never should have listened to you!

Sam

You really should try them in the rain.

Seriously?

Sam

The precipitation creates a sort of natural gravy that's literally mouthwatering.

That's a mini lightning rod! You'll zap us for sure.

Sam

Oh, IWB, inclement weather buddy, don't be so dramatic. It's totally safe-[ZAP!] ... [eats the burned food] Extra crispy.

I know I’m not your favorite person right now, or the other day at the carnival, or when we involved you in that dangerous train chase. The point is, we won’t be any trouble, and we’ll be out of your fur by morning.

Michellee

I will be keeping my eye on you, Randy.

Michellee

Don’t let her out of your sight.

[chuckles] I’m an aspiring Paint Watcher. These eyes don’t shut.

Sam I Am

Yeah, that’s my best friend. Always ready to lend a helping hand or two.

Michellee

Didn’t you guys just meet?

Sam I Am

[jumps on the sofa] And didn’t you guys just meet? Think about it.

Michellee

Um, maybe I’ll go check on him.

Sam I Am

No, stay! Let’s make some dinner.

Michellee

Oh, okay. Wh... What sort of thing you like to eat?

Sam I Am

Excellent question. Green eggs and ham. It’s the dish that cannot mish.

Michellee

I’m vegan.

Sam I Am

Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize. How long have you known?

Michellee

No, no, I’m not ill. I just don’t eat things like eggs and ham. But we can make a vegan version of your favorite meal.

Sam I Am

Uh...

Michellee

Come on. How do you know you won’t like it if you never tried it?

Sam I Am

I like the way you think. Let’s give it a whirl!

Michellee

[stammers] I can’t believe it! A jailbird?

Sam I Am

Okay, I see you’re very focused on Guy right now.

Michellee

Yes! He’s in there with my child. A jailbird!

Sam I Am

Quick reminder, Guy got arrested on purpose, just to save me!

Michellee

Jailbird!

Yes I do.

Michellee

That’s sweet. I guess that’s the kind of Guy you are.

Sam

So, Guy tells me you're a bean counter. Fascinating. Tell me absolutely everything there is to know, starting right now. [He grabs a chair and sits on it]

Michellee

Well, it was a very interesting job, and I've been doing it for eleven... [Sam starts to nod off, then jolts awake] No, no, actually, 11.5 years now. I began as a number cruncher... [Sam pours a cup of coffee and takes a sip, but it fails to keep him awake and he drifts off again] And I cut my teeth on the soft numbers before they got crunchier. [Sam pours coffee onto his eyes] Anyway, after that I climbed the corporate ladder, one rung at a time. The first rung was kind of slippery. [Sam does jumping jacks, but is on the verge of falling asleep yet again and falls off the chair, down the back of the couch]

Sam

I'm awake!

Michellee

Is this seat taken?

No, no, uh, not at all. I-I mean, you rented this place, so you’re fully within your rights to sit wherever you.. please.

Michellee

You know, I was just thinking. I mean, if you guys wanted, maybe we could all team up and... uh, go to Meepville together?

Um, are you sure?

Michellee

Well, yes. Of course, it’s a practical decision, and there is, after all, safety in numbers. So, what do you say?

Uh, he said, "We’d love to.”

E.B.

(As skye (paw patrol)) (gasping happy) yippee! We’re going to Meepville!

Michellee

Hey! Are you ready to get this show on the road? Because we’re all packed up over here. We’re just a couple of packin’ fools! [chuckling] We’re wacky packers!

[sighs] We can’t go with you.

Michellee

What? But... you can’t why?

It just seems to me that we’d all be safer if we... [inhales] ...if we went to Meepville separately.

Michellee

But I... I thought we agreed. Safety in numbers, am I right? Guy, if something’s wrong, you can tell me.

I’m sorry, but you two should leave right now.

E.B.

I thought we were all gonna go together.

Sam I Am

Uh, change of plans. The four of us are too much fun for one car.

Michellee

I guess that’s it then.

Trust me. We’re all just... We’re all just better off on our own.

E.B.

Hey, Mom. Do you think we’ll ever see Sam and Guy again?

Michellee

Not if I can help it. We don’t need people like that in our lives, E.B. [E.B. sighs and Michellee sighs] That Guy! Said he wanted us to be safe, but you know what I bet? I bet they’re relaxing somewhere, having a really great time, not a care in the world!

So, um... [Michellee groans] Next stop, Meepville, huh?

Michellee

Yes, and I know you don’t want any company on your journey, so I’ll leave you to it.

Michellee, wait!

Michellee

Wait? I’m sorry, are you saying you want me around? Because the last time I saw you, you said we’d better off going our separate ways.

I was wrong.

Michellee

I’m not sure you were.

I was! It was a stupid thing to say, and the only reason I said it was to protect you and E.B. [sighs] But it was dumb, and it hurt you... and for that, I’m deeply sorry.

Michellee

I...

Michellee

Huh?

Huh?

Michellee

Oh!

Michellee

We’re headed straight for that wall!

Forgive me?

Michellee

I appreciate the apology, but you really hurt me back at the cabin, and... I don’t want to go through that again.

I... I don’t blame you for thinking that it’s easier to be alone. I used to think like that, too. It seemed that the only way to not get hurt or hurt others was to be on my own. Until I met you. I feel safer when we’re together. All I want to do is to be able to give that same feeling to you. I know I haven’t. I mean, I escaped from prison, I impersonated a carny for money, I almost got your daughter killed by a... by a Goat...

Michellee

Don’t list more things.

[sighs] I’m just asking you to give me one more chance to try.

Michellee

Do you have a piece of paper?

Uh, p-paper? Oh, I’m... I’m sure I have some somewhere. Ah-ha. What for?

Michellee

For this.

[exhales] It’s beautiful.

Michellee

[giggles] It’s my phone number, dummy, so you can call me.

[chuckles] I got it. I will.

Michellee

Honey, we’re going to Meepville!

E.B.

The city that always meeps.