McWinkle quotes from Green Eggs and Ham

McWinkle

I have no idea what kind of sick tactics she’s using over there, but this I guarantee: One of you is gonna tell us the name of that collector. The other is gonna be in big trouble in a little cell. Which one do you want to be? Think it over. [starts walking to the door] The freedom of the one-seventeenth of the world’s Chickeraffe population hangs in the balance. So maybe consider that!

McWinkle

Ma'am, your son...

Gluntz

Your adorable son...

McWinkle

...is in serious trouble. If you want to help him, tell us where that ferry is going.

Why would I help you? You're the BADGUYS.

Gluntz

Darn right, we are! BADGUY proud!

Well, then, I'm not telling you anything. You're bad.

Gluntz

[confused] I'm sorry. One more time?

[equally confused] You're... bad?

Gluntz

What? Are you kidding me? [laughs] This lady. No, no, no, no, no. [indicates around McWinkle's grey-speckled middle] We're good.

But you're the BADGUYS.

Gluntz

And we are good.

No! You and that scary fella are the BADGUYS.

Gluntz

And we're good! See? [presents the business card to Karen]

This says "BADGUYS".

Gluntz

Exactly. [flips it over to show the writing on the back of the card] It stands for Bureau of Animal Defense Glurfsburg Upper Yipville Section.

Narrator

That's a surprise. You got it all wrong. Turns out the BADGUYS have been good all along. I wanted to share that with you for the longest time. You have no idea how hard it was for me not to spoil it! Oh!

Okay, to be fair, your name is a little misleading.

Gluntz

Gluntz? I get that a lot. It's a family name, shortened from O'Gluntzenburg by my great-great... ...great-great-great-grandfather. No wait. Sorry, scratch that. It was my great-great... ...great-great-great-great...

I'm sorry. Wh-whatever you do... please don't hurt me.

McWinkle

Why would we hurt you? We're the good guys.

Huh? Uh... I-I-I thought you were the BAD GUYS.

We are! But the name is kind of misleading.

But... Sam is a wildlife protector, too... isn't he?

Huh?

McWinkle

Sam-I-Am. Aka the Furry Foot Bandit. Aka Flim-Flam-I-Am. Aka Sham Shamford. Aka Dr. Linda Schwartz.

[gasps] No!

McWinkle

Yes. Your pal is a con man, a crook, a world-class heist-uoso.

No! He can’t be. He’s protecting Mr. Jenkins! He told me that we’re taking him to Meepville to keep him safe. [gasps]

McWinkle

And you actually bought that? Think about it. You two have been attached to the hip for days. Did he really seem like a Wildlife Protector to you?

McWinkle

We know the truth. He stole the Chickeraffe to sell to a collector.

Collector?

McWinkle

Now... My slightly unhinged partner is in the next room with your friend, the Goat.

He’s not my friend! [Mcwinkle slams his fist to the table] Oh!

McWinkle

I’m not interested in your social life!

Sam I Am

You can take me in but let the Chickeraffe go. I’ve done a lot of scams. [chuckles] I mean, a lot. But this last one was for a good reason: to get Mr. Jenkins home. Please. It’s my one last job.

McWinkle

Well, Sam-I-Am... I’ve got three words for you. Start... the... balloon.