[Grunkle Stan is wearing the Truth Telling Teeth, a set of golden dentures that force the wearer to tell the truth]
Excuse me, do you think this T-shirt is my size?
Never mind the T-shirt! Hey everybody! Look at this guy's abnormal and unattractive face!
[leading the customer away] I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
[Cut to Stan writing in his office]
D-doing my taxes!
[reads a tax form with "I HAVE COMMITTED TAX FRAUD" written across in bold red ink] Uh, Grunkle Stan, why did you write this?
Because I regularly commit massive tax fraud.
Might wanna tuck that one away, there. [drops the form into a shredder]
[Cut to Stan, Mabel, and Dipper watching TV]
[juggling while riding a unicycle surrounded by three crocodiles] Do-do-do. Oh no! [Dipper and Mabel laugh]
Sometimes I think: is this all there is? Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punchline? That we're all just biding our time until the sweet, sweet release of death?
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