Dan Humphrey quotes from Gossip Girl

Rufus

I miss her a lot.

Dan

You know, in all the arguments you two have had, I haven't once heard you tell her that.

Rufus

Oh my God, you're right.

Dan

That's not ... that rare is it?

Dan

You okay with it? Jenny not being with us tonight?

Rufus

If by okay you mean extraordinarily depressed, then yes.

Rufus

OK, who's mess is it?

Dan

All I did was carry the chili and prevent teenagers from having unprotected sex.

Eric

Serena may have had her own motives, I may have helped with the crowd situation with a few inspirational words, but..

Jenny

But I was the one who posted the party on Gossip Girl.

Vanessa

Do you blame your dad?

Dan

No. I blame the financial aid office, the recession, and a certain imbecile former president.

Blair

Unfortunately for him, the only way your plan is going to work is by some act of God.

Georgina

[Enters through the door as heavenly music starts] Wow, look at that. I'm so glad that everybody's here.

Dan

Alright, we need to get this crazy girl out of here.

Serena

Chuck, what is she doing here?

Blair

Are you trying to have me killed?! Bass?!

Chuck

She's fine!

Nate

Shh! Shut up!

Blair

Oh, my God. I am going to scream at somebody right now.

Chuck

Calm down. She has been fine the whole cab ride home.

Serena

Is this how you found out about the night at Butter? You bring Georgina here?!

Georgina

[Answers the phone] Hey, does anyone know a guy named Gabriel?

Dan

Nah, I thought Vanessa and I would hit a movie instead.

Dan

...and away we go.

Rufus

Alright, it's your last party of high school. Now I know don't love your classmates, but you just shared four years with them. And, I suspect there are maybe a couple people you want to try and stay friends with... or at least one person.

Dan

Yeah, Serena said kinda the same thing. How am I going to get these sage moments of wisdom when I'm in my dorm at NYU?

Rufus

I'll appear to you like Obi-Wan. Now go, young jedi.

Rufus

Have fun.

Dan

I see the cat's out of the bag.

Rufus

And topless on valentino's yacht.

Jenny

Thats not fair. Everyone's topless on Valentinos yacht.

Rufus

What about this one where she's dancing on the table?

Eric

Well, thats what you do in Barcelona.

Rufus

And this one with Prince Harry doing shots off of-

Dan

That's what you do in St. Tropez!

Vanessa

[On Dan's wallet] What is this? Oh, it's where you keep your... hundred dollar bills.

Dan

Do you know how hard it is to break one of those things? I don't know why they even make them.

Dan

You're being pretty open-minded about this whole Georgina thing.

Serena

Well, it's just that I've never been more pleasantly surprised than when I started dating Carter.

Dan

Dating? You're dating Carter Baizen now? Is Chuck not available?

[To Vanessa] When you talked me out of meeting Dan's parents, you said it was because they looked down at Hollywood people.

Dan

And they probably do now. You were pretty annoying.

Serena

What time is it?

Dan

Later than we ever wanted to be …but that would be morning.

Serena

Last night…

Dan

Don't even finish those words, unless… unless they end with ...was a mistake, I mean right?

Serena

Right, my thoughts exactly, I mean we… we're both in relationships.

Dan

Yeah, yeah it was totally meaningless.

Serena

I mean we… just fell sleep.

Dan

Yeah, after a entire bottle of wine, and a lot of taking...

Serena

...and one kiss.

Dan

Did that even happen? I'm not sure that even happened…

Dan

Blair, life is giving you signs, and you're ignoring them because you're afraid of the thing they're signalling you to do, but then you think, what if the signs are good for a reason and ignoring them makes me a coward?

Blair

Signs are for the religious, the superstitious and the lower class.

Serena

That baby right there, he's gonna grow up to be smarter than the rest of them, that would make him feel like an outsider…

Dan

oh really? Well… You see that baby there? She's gonna grow up to have fabulous hair, and a great smile, but her daddy issues are gonna make it really hard for her to trust people.

Serena

you wanna take a walk?

Dan

yeah

Georgina

And this baby is gonna do somethings to make all the other babies hate her.

Blair

…this night is perfect

Chuck

oh… there's one thing that would make it even better… I'm so sorry, for the pain I cause you, and I know that I can't take it back but I want to make it up to you, even if it takes me the rest of my life… Blair, will you...

Blair

HUMPHREY, what are you doing? Have you lost your mind? What the hell are you doing?

Dan

You, tell her

Blair

Tell me what? What's going on? [Looks at Jenny and Dan and understands] You didn't.

Chuck

Blair...

Blair

You did... [To Jenny] You, get out of here now, and not just out of this hospital but off this island, go and never come back, cause if you ever set one foot in Manhattan ever again, I'll know and I'll destroy you.